


Visions of Paradise

by havok2cat



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Healing, Force-Sensitive Armitage Hux, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Grand Marshal Armitage Hux, Jedi Armitage Hux, M/M, Mutual Pining, Possessive Armitage Hux, Power Bottom Armitage Hux, Redeemed Ben Solo, Resistance Member Armitage Hux, Resistance Spy Armitage Hux, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-02-18 06:57:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 48,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21890119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havok2cat/pseuds/havok2cat
Summary: After the destruction of Starkiller Base, Armitage defects to the Resistance, throwing himself at the mercy of General Leia.She recognizes his force sensitivity, trains him in the ways of the Jedi and convinces him to return to the First Order as a Resistance spy.With his new control of the force and his surprising ally of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Armitage is determined to set the First Order on a new path, one that will lead to balance in the galaxy.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo, Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 86
Kudos: 490





	1. Chapter 1

On the eve of his greatest triumph, Armitage Hux had a disturbing dream. 

In his dream there was no First Order, no high status, no pressure to succeed, no terrible consequences for failure. There was only a man and a girl and the dream told him they were his husband and daughter.

The man was faceless, tall, dark haired with big hands that he used to gently braid their daughter’s hair and wipe away her falling tears. The girl he could see much more clearly, could see her large, dark eyes and blazing red hair, her wide grin, her aptitude for engineering and her love of swimming. 

Their home was modest; mud and thatch and what looked like bamboo, woven tightly together and his dream told him that his faceless, devoted husband had designed it with a large family in mind. It sat in the middle of a lush jungle and he sensed that the planet was deserted except for his precious family. 

It was a paradise and Armitage awoke with a cry, tears staining his pillow and a hollow feeling of loss in his chest. By the time he had shaken off his unease and dressed for the day, his special day, he had forgotten his dream. It was relegated to the deepest parts of his mind, a space he had created long ago to store the bits of himself that no one could know. 

Like how he remembered vividly the smell of his mother's perfume, his nanny's heavy hand when he disobeyed and the look of disgust his father gave him the first time he used the force, at just six years old.

He hadn't meant to do anything bad, he was just a child. A child that knew nothing of the Empire, the Jedi or the Sith or the zealous allegiance his father, Brendol Hux, paid to Sith General Snoke and the rising First Order. 

All little Armitage knew, all he saw was a stumbling, terrified Loth cat, bleeding and growling outside his bedroom window. The ruckus it made attracted a small crowd of servants, come to watch the poor thing die, in pain and alone. Armitage could feel her pain as if it were his own, the stab wound in her stomach made him cry empathetic tears and he launched himself out the window and down the trellis to her side. 

It barely took a stray thought for him to reach for her life energy and connect it to the force, molding the spaces in between life and death and sealing the gaping holes. The wound closed, tissues regenerating, blood flowing, pain gone forever. Armitage rejoiced, proud and happy, feeling the force linger around him like his mother's embrace. He felt whole in that moment, more in touch with his true self, his inner strength than he had ever experienced since. 

But the darkening shadows brought by his drunken father made sure any sense of purpose was shattered, never to be gathered, broken for all time. The Loth cat died a quick and painless death under his father's boot, a sickening crunch heralding her doom. A distraught Armitage threw himself bodily at Brendol, forgetting that his father was bigger, stronger, more ruthless than him. His disobedience earned him a beating and his force aptitude earned him a longer punishment. 

He was sent away to the Arkanis Academy, kept from his mother, the only person in the whole universe to ever love him. He worked with the servants, cleaning and running errands until he was big enough to start classes. The sterile, oppressive environment of the boarding school did well to suppress his sense of self and the abandonment by Brendol taught him the importance of blind, rabid loyalty. 

Armitage let his connection to the force wither, vowing to never again make his father doubt him. He willfully locked away his awareness of the universe, shoving it to the back of his mind until his independent study course in his last year at the Academy. It was the most freedom he had ever been granted and a part of Armitage suspected it was a test, a trap, set by Brendol to test his loyalty to the now well established First Order. 

He proved himself an exemplary student and was projected to be a ruthless leader, set to rise through the ranks. He was content with that future, chomping at the bit to graduate and show his father that he wasn't a failure. One day, he would be emperor and Brendol would fall to his knees in fealty. Not that he ever gave voice to that vision for fear of the consequences of treason. 

But...sometimes, in the dead of night, after too much smuggled Corellian wine, Hux would think of that pathetic Loth cat and how the force felt thrumming and singing through his body and out through his fingers. He would remember the feeling of being complete, the euphoria of deciding between life or death for another living being and wonder. 

They were taught of the fallen Jedi order at the Academy, told by sneering instructors how dangerous they had been, once upon a time. How their corrupt morals destroyed the galaxy and how the Empire wiped them out of existence, for the good of all. It didn't take long for Armitage to connect the mysterious power of his childhood to the force that the Jedi worshiped. The right bribes to the right people provided him with plenty of heavily encrypted information of the Jedi downloaded to his personal datapad. 

He learned of the vast, violent history of the Jedi order and their most famous disciples. It was purely for scholastic reasons, of course. No one needed to know that he meditated every day and communed with the force, no one would ever know that he honed his healing powers in the privacy of his personal bunk, reversing the obvious signs of abuse visited on him by his peers. Looking at Armitage, tall, lanky and lithe, no observer would guess he could lift a metric ton without breaking a sweat. 

The power of the force was secondary to his ambition within the First Order. Armitage was smart, watchful and he knew immediately that Supreme Leader Snoke would suffer no perceived competition against his leadership. Years of hiding his abilities proved invaluable to Armitage's rise through the ranks to General and as far as he could tell, Snoke remained ignorant of his force abilities.

For years, he found a higher purpose in serving the First Order, proving again and again his formidable tactical mind, his fervor and loyalty to any and all causes of Snoke. The Supreme Leader may view him as nothing but a rabid cur, a moldable, expendable pawn but his subordinates were loyal to only him and the allies he served as ambassador to sang his praises to all that would listen. Perhaps it was his natural charm or perhaps Armitage unconsciously manipulated the force to serve his will through others. He was never quite sure and content to never know.

It wasn't until the arrival of Snoke's shiny, new apprentice, Kylo Ren that Armitage knew the true depths of his insecurities when it came to his position in the First Order and his force powers. Ren was power personified; muscular and hulking but swift footed, elegant in a fight and the way the force gave way to his will was fascinating. Ren had been able to nurture his force powers, to cultivate them until he was a terrifying opponent. While Armitage had been made to hide and suppress his connection to the universe, to the point that Snoke and Ren seemed unaware of his sensitivity. 

The ravenous jealousy and dark rage Ren inspired in Armitage was addicting and he gave into it, embracing his hatred of the masked, overgrown child. Their rivalry was explosive, filled with cutting insults and taking every chance to undermine each other's authority that presented itself. 

Armitage willfully ignored the smallest part of himself that wanted to impress Ren, pushing away the instinct to preen and boast to him after a job well done. He didn't need anyone's approval, no matter how much the energy surrounding Ren acted like a black hole, pulling him inexplicably closer, attracting him despite all warnings for him to keep his distance. 

Ren's only loyalty was to Snoke and the Supreme Leader would sooner have Armitage dead than to make nice with his apprentice. 

Armitage scoffed to himself in the mirror, smoothing out invisible wrinkles in his greatcoat. His strange dream had made him maudlin. There was no time for such thoughts when his greatest contribution to the galaxy was to be introduced in a matter of hours. 

An aide came to collect him and Armitage suppressed a grin, feeling the force respond to his excitement, swirling around him playfully. He floated on air to the hangar bay to board the transport ship that would take him to Starkiller Base, arms tucked behind his back, fists clenched in anticipation. He was flanked by his closest officers, Mitaka leading the charge and Captain Phasma bringing up the rear, towering over the procession like an ominous shadow. 

Not even the sight of Ren hovering by the bay doors could put a dent in his good mood and he greeted him brightly, smirking mischievously up at his black visor. 

"What a marvelous day for blowing up a planet, wouldn't you say, Ren? Shall you be accompanying us down to see my triumph up close? Oh, do please say you will." 

He batted his eyelashes, feeling reckless and untouchable, high on his sure victory. He heard Phasma snicker behind him, the slightly static sound making his smirk into a grin. At least someone around here was laughing with him and not at him. After today, no one would ever laugh at Armitage again. 

Ren hesitated, his posture screaming discomfort for a moment before he drew himself up to loom over Armitage. His voice was a low drawl, helmet clicking as he responded. 

"Do not read into my presence at your side, General. Supreme Leader Snoke has requested I keep an eye on you today. If not for my orders, I would be far away from this farce."

Armitage scoffed, playful even as his stomach clenched in dismay. Could Ren not be civil for one kriffing minute? He waved a hand in the air, dismissing Ren and hid a pleased smirk at the other man's obvious offense, turning to board his ship. 

"As you say, Ren. Come along and witness my creation. Today I will make the First Order the most feared and powerful armada in the galaxy."

***

The firing of Starkiller was a rousing success, much to Armitage's detriment.

Ren had stalked off early during the speech, looking agitated but Armitage ignored him. Nothing could distract from his euphoric high, not even that ronto brained brute. He manfully pushed down the small disappointment he felt that not even Starkiller could impress Ren. He was a weak idiot for caring about what Ren, a feral, unpredictable, immature idiot thought about him even if the swirling darkness that was Ren’s presence in the force called to him. His attraction was obviously and entirely one sided. 

No one noticed when Armitage faltered once the destruction of the Hosnian system began and Hosnian Prime crumbled and imploded. The force was agitated, whipping and spinning around him and even halfway across the galaxy, it carried to Armitage the collective pain and terror of a billion lives lost. He kept his composure long enough to stumble away, hopefully unseen, to his quarters, passing no one. 

Every soldier to the last was at their post, working diligently to target the remaining three planets and with each blast, Armitage gasped, overwrought by their loss in the universe. The force was angry with him, distraught by the perceived imbalance his Starkiller had caused. It wanted to punish him and it succeeded spectacularly.

He made it to his refresher before collapsing in an undignified heap on the cold tile floor. The last thing he was aware of was his body retching and trembling before blackness enveloped him, bringing with it the screaming masses. 

***

The soft touch of a hand in his hair brought him to consciousness and Armitage groaned, rolling his head to press into the sensation. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched him so gently. His mother perhaps, before the Academy. He opened his eyes to see the impersonal, durasteel shine of Captain Phasma’s helmet and he groaned again, feeling a rush of mortification at being seen this way.

Phasma scoffed and reached up to push the release buttons on her helmet. They gave a hiss as they opened and she removed it with practised ease, setting it with care behind her. The familiar moue of distaste on her face, accompanied by short cropped golden hair and hard as steel blue eyes was comforting, working to ground him. 

He was here, on Starkiller, not out there, burning and dying with the unfortunate New Republic citizens. The longer he stared at her, probably gawking like an idiot, the more her expression changed into one of cautious concern. Her voice washed over him, deep and melodious.

“What the kark happened out there, Hux? You looked on death’s door when I found you.”

Instead of answering, Armitage turned his back to her, reaching up to lever his body unsteadily to his feet. It brought him within sight of the mirror and he sneered at it, hating how rumbled and pale he looked. He was a general of the First Order, the strongest and most lethal armada in the galaxy. He had no business looking so sick and...human.   
Long off phantom screaming reached him again and he shuddered before strengthening his mental wards, pushing the resonating distress away. He was thankful that Phasma was force null. 

Surely, if Ren were here, Armitage would be caught out immediately for his force sensitivity, uncontrollable as it was at the moment and taken to Snoke. He had seen Ren after an intense training session with his Master, bruised and beaten down, quiet and despondent for weeks afterwards. Snoke could never know which meant Ren could never know. And Phasma…

He turned to face her, drawing himself up to stand tall, ignoring the fact that she still towered over him. Kark, he was surrounded by giants. He opened his mouth, expression fierce but she cut him off, raising her hand. 

“Don’t even start, Hux. I saw you fall apart out there and stumble back here. I was going to give you your privacy-”

Armitage laughed cruelly. 

“But you decided to be intrusive? May I remind you, Captain, that your job-”

She raised her normally soothing voice, tone sharp enough to physically wound. He felt her turmoil through the force, a crawling sludge that clogged his throat. He snapped his jaw shut to keep from vomiting again. 

“My job is to serve in the best interests of the First Order, General. The best way to do that is to keep you whole and healthy.”

Armitage felt a flash of warmth in his chest but ignored it to continue posturing, crossing his arms with another scoff. 

“You are appointing yourself as my nursemaid, Phas?”

“Only if needed, Armie.”

Armitage sneered at the nickname but didn’t comment, brain whirling to find a probable excuse for his sudden malady. She came closer, cutting off his train of thought and placed her hand on his shoulder. The warmth of it was shocking, so much of his life spent in self imposed isolation meant that he was disgustingly touch starved. He met her jewel toned eyes wordlessly, at a loss, unable to push away the closest thing he had to a friend. 

“Hux, talk to me. Haven’t I proven my loyalty to you and your vision over and over. How many people have I killed for you, how many secrets do we keep between each other?”  
An image reached him then, inadvertently plucked from her mind, pushed at him from the force. The last moments of Brendol Hux, writhing and bloated as the poison took hold, the last thing reflected in his fading eyes the tell tale durasteel shine of Phasma’s armor.

He slumped then, deflating in a rush, feeling broken open and raw. He shrugged off her hand, turning his head away in stubborn defiance. Could he ever really trust another person, especially one so ambitious as Phasma? What if she informed Snoke or Ren? 

“There are things you don’t know.”

She hummed, moving a few feet back to lean against the wall, ankles and arms crossed. He watched her warily from the corner of his eye. 

“There are also things easily seen, Hux. Like the fact that you started almost convulsing when Hosnian Prime was destroyed. I have spent years by your side, watching you and plotting with you. You know I’m not an idiot and I am telling you now that I have never allowed myself to be willfully ignorant.”

Armitage turned his head slowly, a feeling of dread suffusing his body, feeling flush with growing horror. 

“I don’t understand.”

She smirked. 

“You do understand. I am saying that I know you are like Ren.”

“I am nothing like that-”

“Shut up, Hux. I only meant with the silly little magic tricks the two of you can do. Although you use yours more often in political missions. It’s easy to notice that every ambassador that resists you doesn’t do so for long. You always have them wrapped around your finger quite quickly and we both know it’s not because of your irresistible charm.” 

“Should I be concerned that you gaze at me so often?”

Phasma laughed good naturedly. 

“Oh, please, Armie. We both know what equipment you require on a lover. I wouldn’t waste my time where I know I’m not wanted.”

Armitage sighed, turning to look in the mirror, trying to smooth his messy hair. 

“I really wish you would stop calling me that.”

“Not true.”

He pursed his lips, glaring at her through the mirror. He turned again, crossing the space between them and the air around them grew tense. 

“You can’t tell anyone, Phasma. If Snoke-”

She leaned forward until their faces were inches apart, giving him her best sultry look, the same one that made Mitaka into a hilariously stuttering mess. Armitage admired her prowess but remained unaffected. 

“I have known for years what you can do and not a word has passed my lips.”

At his lack of response she rolled her eyes, dropping her facade. 

“Listen to me now, Armitage. I serve you as I have all these years, before even the Supreme Leader. I have never betrayed you because you have never betrayed me. Our alliance will remain strong as long as we each play our part.”

Armitage fought the roiling disappointment that her words caused but she still seemed to catch it. She reached out again but he avoided her touch, leaving the refresher in a rush and reaching for his wine stash. He took a long, deep drink, mind still reeling from the disturbance in the force. She followed shortly behind him and watched him sprawl on one of the stiff chairs near the sideboard. 

“I don’t mean to sound so callous, Hux. You have my loyalty and I know I have yours. Isn’t that enough?”

Armitage sighed and took another long drink. 

“Yes, of course.”

Silence surrounded them for a long moment as Armitage wrestled with his unwanted feelings. Of course Phasma considered them allies more than friends. Friends were a liability people like them, people in their precarious positions would be foolish to welcome. It didn’t stop the bitter sting. 

Eventually, she moved to sit opposite him, in the other chair, setting her gleaming helmet on the table between them and gave him a searching look. 

“What exactly happened out there?”

He looked at her over the rim of his glass, taking in her open expression and feeling her honesty and concern through the force. It took little effort to obtain the true intentions of people, he had even been reckless and done so in front of Ren. The man had made no comment and from what Armitage could tell of his posture, he had not noticed the subtle manipulations. 

He had also never been foolish enough to get a read on Ren himself. Even Ren’s oblivious nature had its limits. He wondered idly if the man had ever tried to read Armitage through the force or did he consider Armitage so far beneath him, a nuisance to be ignored and disdained? 

Armitage shook away his musings of Ren, damning the man for always being so close in his thoughts. His attachment and reluctant admiration of Kylo Ren was getting out of hand. Phasma was still waiting.

“I felt them, Phasma, through the force. I heard them screaming and sensed their terror…”

His throat closed at the memory and he leaned forward to loudly set his wine glass on the table, covering his face with his hands. He heard Phasma shift closer, her voice dropping as if afraid to be overheard. 

“I don’t understand, Hux. I have never known you to express even the smallest amount of regret for the lives we have taken. Guilt doesn’t look good on you.”

Armitage removed his hands, giving Phasma an imploring look. 

“This was different...the balance of the force was broken because of my actions. I felt the consequences of my arrogance. It was my punishment.”

Phasma scoffed, sneering. 

“Listen to you, Hux. Force? Balance? Feelings? All this tripe-”

Armitage felt curling rage unfold from his heart, reaching for his limbs. He slammed his fist on the table between them, effectively cutting her off. 

“It’s not a fantasy, Phasma. There are forces in the galaxy that you wouldn’t understand! Real, tangible and furious. I will pay for my folly in some way for it is by my engineering that the balance was lost in the force, for even a moment.”

He clenched his jaw shut to stem the deluge of words that wanted to fall past his lips. He had said too much already, revealed plainly his doubts, his wavering loyalty to their plans. The Hosnian System was just the beginning of the First Order’s path to total domination. Merely a test conducted before their true enemy, the Resistance, was defeated.   
With the Starkiller, Dark would snuff out the Light, setting the galaxy on a disturbing path. Only right now, did Armitage truly grasp with acute clarity the importance of equilibrium in the universe. But what was to be done? Even in his absence, the Starkiller could be easily utilized, the First Order indestructible. 

Phasma gave a soul weary sigh and stood, roughly donning her helmet again with a loud click and hiss. She turned to leave, pausing at the door to speak.

“Don’t do anything rash, Hux. I would truly hate to be your enemy but that won’t stop me from pursuing you should you decide to defect.” 

Armitage startled, watching her leave with wide eyes. Defect? Trust Phasma to not mince words. But even so, the word didn’t sound as disturbing as he thought it would. Defect.   
He reached for his glass, throwing back the remaining wine in a hard swallow. It was foolish to contemplate but Armitage had so few options. He could remain and fight for the First Order, ignore the imbalance he created and deal with the fall out of his actions in the form of mental torture, visited upon him by the force. 

But he would slip eventually, he could sense it and Ren would fall upon his writhing body to hurry along his desperate death throes, dragging him to his Master and the horrid fate that would await him in Snoke’s personal clutches. Perhaps Snoke would keep him as a pet, like Ren, train him and mold him, abuse him and use him. It was a distressing thought, to be at the mercy of a man worse than his father. To be avoided. 

With his new awareness of his power to influence the galaxy on such a colossal scale, Armitage couldn’t imagine pressing forward in the service of the First Order. But where would he go that Snoke could not reach him? 

Ren would never rest, would create a destructive swath across the galaxy to make Armitage pay for his treason. He was so wrapped up in the Dark Side, so warped by Snoke’s oppressive influence that he couldn’t see the true consequences of their actions. Dark and Light must coexist, Armitage could feel the truth of that in every particle of his body. It was unfortunate that Ren could not be an ally. 

However this played out, Armitage needed to be careful around Ren and Snoke. They could never suspect his changing loyalties. He also needed to be vigilant and take any opening, no matter how small, to get out of here.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For future reference, if I don't mention a canon event, it didn't happen. 
> 
> Also, I'm just going to keep calling Kylo Ren, 'Ren' bc it rhymes with Ben...A seamless transition!!

The relief Armitage felt at the destruction of Starkiller Base was indescribable. The invisible heavy yoke he had borne for months was lifted and the ever present cloud of dread slowly dissipated. 

Any doubts he harbored in the weeks after his startling epiphany were instantly dispelled. His destiny was writ large in the stars, far away from the First Order.   
Now it was only a matter of finding his escape under the ever watchful presence of Ren and his Master. 

The first opportunity came with the chaos of the Starkiller evacuation, while the First Order was under attack and the tide of the Resistance army could not be turned away. Ren was occupied with his pursuit of the unknown scavenger girl and planetary and ship comms to Snoke were disabled, indefinitely. 

Faint, booming explosions that heralded the doom of his creation spurred Armitage into motion. He slipped from the bridge aboard the Finalizer and swiftly made his way to his quarters. He had a bag packed for just such an occasion and he wasted no time prying open his hidden wall panel to collect it. It held only the essentials; a change of clothes, water tablets and various forms of identity that would aid him on his unknown journey. He wasn't really concerned about his destination, only the fact that he left, now and quickly before Snoke found some way to reach him. 

Armitage reached deeply into his wardrobe for his third best cloak and stilled at the feeling of electricity arcing over his body, outward from his chest and down to his toes. It was an omen, a disturbance in the force and it would not be ignored. 

He closed his eyes, fingers clenching on the edges of his side table and reached out his awareness, searching for the cause of his unease. A cacophony greeted him. The collective triumph of the Resistance, the fury and frenzy of the First Order. Explosions, a planet cracking open, ready to implode and in the middle of it, clear and startling, Kylo Ren, bleeding and dying alone in the cold snow. 

With little thought and a loud string of curses, Armitage threw his bag in the bottom of his wardrobe and left his quarters at a fast, panicked clip. The hangar of the Finalizer was in chaos, ships coming and going, Stormtroopers and officers alike rushing to and fro like mad and no one paid any mind to Armitage as he piloted his personal transport down to the surface of Starkiller. 

A cold, bitter wind blew through his greatcoat as he stumbled down the gangway with a med kit in one hand and his laser pistol in the other, finger ready on the trigger. He wasn’t the best shot but opening his mind to the force would take care of his aim, making it strike true. He didn’t have a saber, had never even seen one in person until Ren. His firearm would have to suffice against any stray Resistance fighters. 

He could feel Ren close and was forced to head his way blindly, the smoke from the collapsing planet too thick to see through. Ren’s life force was dimming, growing fainter and Armitage abandoned all caution, running forward into the surrounding forest, tripping over debris and tree roots. 

The urgency he felt to get to Ren was alarming, a compulsion not easily shirked and a large part of Armitage had no wish to fight it. The thought of Ren dying out here, body and spirit taken forever by Starkiller made his heart ache fiercely. He had no time to question himself, only focused on his task. Get to Ren. Save Ren. 

What felt like an age passed while Armitage wondered the desolate woods, following the flickering beacon of Ren in his mind. He found him quite abruptly, a dark, indefinable mass in the middle of a snow swept, rocky clearing. He was laying on his side, facing away, his cloak missing and his helmet cast aside. Armitage could see it a few feet away, half buried and cracked open, visor glaring blankly at the scene being played out before it. 

Ren looked so small, fragile, crumpled on the ground, bright red blood seeping into the ground beneath him and as Armitage knelt beside him, the red stained the knees of his trousers. Armitage could see one ear and part of his cheek; pale white and the messy twisted mass of midnight black hair that fell into the snow and across his face, matted with more blood. He was breathing, slow and shallow and a faint rattle in his chest spurred Armitage into motion, terror gripping him at the thought of coming so far just to watch Ren die. 

Armitage gently took Ren’s shoulder and rolled him onto his back, exposing the rest of his face to his own shocked eyes. Ren was...beautiful. An amalgamation of too many sharp angles contrasted by soft, rounded lines that not even the nasty, open wound could make ugly. Ren groaned, snapping Armitage from his sudden fugue and opened dark, hazy eyes. He said nothing, just studied Armitage for a long moment before closing them again with a defeated sigh. 

Armitage frowned and leaned further forward, cupping Ren’s wound free cheek in his gloved hand. Ren flinched from it with a soft curse and Armitage quickly striped it with his teeth before replacing it on Ren’s face. Ren was so cold. 

“Ren, can you hear me?”

Ren gave a weak laugh and pressed into Armitage’s hand to look back up at him, eyes a bit more focused, dancing over Armitage’s features. His voice without the filter of the mask was a shock, deep and melodious with a petulant edge that made Armitage smile. 

“Don’t be stupid, General. Come to finish me off?”

Armitage scoffed, pitching his voice to be haughty even while he began searching for the source of Ren’s excessive blood loss. 

“Now who’s being stupid? Why would I risk my life and leave the Finalizer, pilot my transport down to the surface of an imploding planet, stumble in the dark with extremely low visibility with no guard to find you and what? Stick a knife between your ribs? You look a parsec away from death as it is, Ren.”

Ren was silent for a moment, processing his words with obvious difficulty, blood loss making his mind slow. He watched Armitage as he ran gentle hands over his chest and abdomen, trying in vain to find his wound. He stilled Armitage’s seeking hands with one of his, pushing it down against his chest. Armitage startled and his eyes flew up to meet Ren’s.

“Left side. The lightsaber grazed me, it didn’t cauterize fully.”

Armitage hummed and located the wound, pressing around it and murmuring nonsensical apologies as he palpated the area. He felt Ren’s dark eyes on him like a physical weight but he ignored the attention despite the thrill it sent through him. He couldn’t recall an instance in each other’s presence that wasn’t followed by snide, cutting remarks and the urge to strangle the man. 

“Snoke sent you to retrieve me.”

It wasn’t a question, Ren’s tone indicating that he believed it. Armitage hesitated to dispel his misconception, glancing up from the corner of his eye. It would be much easier to let Ren think the worst of him, to not blatantly contradict his low opinion of Armitage. It was safer and smarter to play Snoke’s lapdog for a little while longer, avoid unwanted scrutiny. But the thought of Ren thinking he was here on orders, that he personally didn’t care if the man lived or died, after he sacrificed his chance to leave, put himself in extreme danger to come to him... It was maddening. 

“Actually, communication to Snoke has been disabled. We haven’t heard from him since this farce began.”

Armitage avoided Ren’s heavy gaze and opened the med kit, taking out supplies to clean what he could of the long, slicing wound. He planned on using the force to heal Ren but even his powers couldn’t prevent an infection if it healed around debris. He made quick work of the rocks and dirt, pouring a sterile, antibiotic cleanser over it. Ren grit his teeth and groaned weakly and Armitage made soothing circles in his chest with his free hand. Ren’s breathing was ragged by the end of the process, taking shallow, panting breaths. His voice was a rough growl that he forced between clenched teeth. 

“I don’t understand, General.”

Armitage pursed his lips and leaned over his face again, raising his hand to call on the force. 

“Don’t worry yourself, Ren. Sleep and heal.”

Ren went boneless, eyes falling shut with a flutter of thick lashes and Armitage barely reached his hand under his head to prevent it from hitting harshly on the rocky ground. Ren would die without force healing but Armitage couldn’t let him know of his abilities. As much as he was drawn to Ren, Armitage wasn’t foolish enough to trust him. Ren knew loyalty only to his Master.

Armitage ran his now cold fingers over Ren’s cheek, lingering over the valleys of his face for a selfish moment, sure that he would never be permitted to touch him like this again. He shook his head and turned back to the clean wound, placing his hands over the worst of it, hovering without touching. It was so easy to call upon the force for this, the energy seeped from his mind and down his arms, flowing over Ren and bathing him in an invisible warmth. The force rejoiced when he healed, spurring him on with an obvious relish that made Armitage smile. 

He watched in never fading awe as the flesh beneath his hands stitched together, blood surging through healthy tissue and the pallor on Ren’s skin flushing to a healthy pink. It was exhilarating, as it always was but this time, Armitage felt a deeper satisfaction. This was Ren he was helping, healing, saving from death. His actions gave balance to the force and Armitage sensed with a sudden, overwhelming reverence that for Armitage to live, so must Ren. On the tail of the glowing warmth in his chest, a cold dread followed. What did that mean? 

Shaking, he turned his hands to Ren’s face, healing the long, ugly cut enough for the bleeding to stop. It wouldn’t do to erase all signs of his injury, Ren would surely become suspicious. With a thought and little effort, Armitage lifted Ren’s large, muscular body and walked back to his transport ship, staring at Ren’s face as he hovered in the air next to him. To think that Ren hid such a face under that ridiculous helmet. Speaking of…

Armitage took a few steps to collect the helmet, his moue of distaste reflecting back at him as he gazed at it. He gave a put upon sigh as he tucked it under his arm. It wasn’t worth all the annoying complaining Ren would do if he left his precious helmet to explode. 

The journey back to the transport was quick, Ren staying asleep the whole time and Armitage staring at him. He knew after Ren was healed that he would shove that bucket back on his head and Armitage would never see those expressive eyes or kissable lips again. Armitage jerked at that thought, jamming a few buttons on the control panel, causing an alarm to loudly sound through the cockpit. He cursed and disabled it, huffing. Kriff, kissable? What was becoming of him? 

His transport landed smoothly in the Finalizer hangar bay and with the help of the force, no one paid much attention as Armitage commandeered a hover stretcher and led it to medbay. As the doors swished open to admit them, Armitage sneered at the utter chaos in the ward. He was noticed right away by a harried looking technician who approached him with a falsely apologetic mien. 

“Forgive me, General Hux but there is no room for more patients. We are at full capac-”

Armitage didn’t acknowledge the technician but stalked past them, the stretcher with a silent, unconscious Ren following close behind. The technician was not to be deterred, hurrying forward to cut off Armitage’s advance and he paused, surprised by the insubordination. At least they had the decency to look frightened. 

“Really, sir. We can’t accommodate-”

Armitage snarled and walked past them again, this time pushing his shoulder harshly into theirs. They gasped and stumbled to the side but didn’t attempt to approach him. He stalked up to the nearest occupied bed and shoved a half armored, writhing stormtrooper to the floor. The med personnel around him paused in shock and watched him struggle to transfer a too heavy Ren to the bed. He growled and raised his voice in a commanding yell. 

“Well? Help me, for stars sake! Do you really want to be at Snoke’s tender mercy if you willfully let Lord Ren die?”

That snapped them to attention and three sets of hands joined his. After a moment of standing to the side and watching them scurry around, Armitage nodded before turning sharply on his heel to leave. Ren was in good hands and Armitage’s healing abilities made it so that he would recover fully and with little complications, only heavy scarring. He was sure the handsome bastard would make even those imperfections look attractive. 

Armitage straightened his uniform, using the motions to observe the activity around him. People were still rushing around, preparing to warp away from the slowly falling Starkiller, rushing to and fro to organize the extra troops they had taken on in the evacuation. Maybe there was still a chance for him to go back to his quarters, collect his bag and slip away. 

He didn’t make it three steps down the corridor before he was stopped by a large, rough hand on his lapel, jerking him around to face a gleefully sneering Allegiant General Pryde. 

“There you are, General. Supreme Leader Snoke has been requesting your presence on the bridge.”

*** 

Even suspended three feet in the air by the holoimage of Snoke, in front of his fearfully silent subordinates and a smirking Pryde, Armitage was thankful. Snoke could easily tear apart his mind, inflict pain on him that he would never recover from, see things in his mind that no one else knew, things that Armitage would be horribly punished for. 

Even as Snoke slammed him bodily downwards, ground his face into the cold, durasteel floor, he worked to keep his mental shields functioning. Snoke could throw him around all he pleased, could barrage him with cutting insults about his parentage and failures but he could never know that Armitage was force sensitive. He would endure and survive as he had done all his life. 

“You are a grave disappointment, General. Your failure with Starkiller has given rise to hope among our enemies.”

He moved his image closer and the force compelled Armitage onto his back so that he had no choice but to stare into Snoke’s thunderous, skeletal countenance. Snoke’s voice   
was a deep growl, washing over Armitage and making him tremble. Had he wasted his only chance to escape a twisted fate, all for a man that would never thank him, that couldn’t care less if he died? 

“And hope is a dangerous incentive. It will surely give rise to more problems for us. You have endangered the hallowed purpose of the First Order, General Hux.”

Snoke lifted him to hover again and an invisible hand slapped him harshly, making his head snap to the side. Armitage stifled a surprised gasp, working to keep his face blank and vaguely apologetic. Snoke was never moved by pleading and groveling, in fact, it seemed to incite his ire further. They only way out of this was through and Armitage must endure it with aplomb. He turned to look back at Snoke, face burning from the strike. 

“For this reason, for your eternal failure and your unforgivable arrogance, you, General Armitage Hux are relieved of your command.”

An audible gasp moved through the crowd on the bridge but Armitage gave no reaction. His heart was beating and his breath coming faster but his face remained impassive. What would become of him now? Would Snoke revoke all of his privileges? Send him to another ship? A work camp? Again, Armitage cursed his instinct to help Ren. What had his softening heart gotten him? A dangerous demotion and no true allies. Snoke would watch him more closely now.

“The ever loyal and dependable Allegiant General Pryde will take over command of the Finalizer and you, General, will serve him. You are to follow his every command and I suggest you work hard to prove yourself to me. Or I will be forced to take more drastic measures.”

Snoke disappeared abruptly and Armitage fell to the floor with a loud thump and a wince, his shins and hands stinging at the rough contact.. A shadow fell over his kneeling form and he lifted his head to meet the gleaming eyes of Pryde. 

“Well, my boy, this should be entertaining.” 

***

The rest of the day consisted of Armitage following Pryde around like a lost puppy, silent and cautious, unsure of what was now expected of him. It had been years since he felt so insecure as to his rightful place in the First Order. His complete assurance had been a large part of the reason for his rabid loyalty to Snoke. Despite the Supreme Leaders heavy, oppressive hand as a ruler, he had always seemed pleased with Armitage's tactical skills and his leadership abilities. That was gone now and left him feeling bereft, set adrift. 

Of course, Pryde being a karking ass didn’t help things. He took great pleasure in embarrassing Armitage, reveled in his uncharacteristic hesitance when dealing with their subordinates and higher ranked officers alike. 

They spent the day meeting with every rank aboard the Finalizer and communicating via holo with every ship left in the armada. If anyone was surprised at Armitage’s change in rank, they did not show it, merely listened to Pryde with the respect he expected and worked to recover their forces after the blow dealt by the Resistance. 

The First Order was not helpless after the loss of Starkiller. The Resistance had been dealt a substantial hit as well and had less resources to fall back upon. The First Order was still poised to become the most powerful entity in the galaxy, unstoppable. The balance of the galaxy was skewed and Armitage shared the Force’s unease. 

Two days of draining politics with no word from Ren and Armitage couldn’t stop himself from marching down to the medbay. He had resisted checking on Ren at first, not wanting to seem concerned. Any hint of weakness now would be foolish, would expose his vulnerable neck to the greedy, murderous eyes that watched his every move. But Kriff, he had saved Ren’s life, the least the idiot could do was let him know he was recovered. 

The main medical room was quiet this late in the night cycle, with only one receptionist working diligently behind the pristine white counter. They looked up as Armitage approached and stood at attention, dropping the holos in their hands onto the counter in obvious alarm.

“At ease, soldier. I’m here to check on Lord Ren’s condition.”

They stuttered a bit, absently shuffling the messy holopads and Armitage rolled his eyes, reaching over to smack his hand down forcefully to cover the holos, stopping their annoying fidgeting. He gave them a stern look, waiting impatiently as they gathered their nerve. 

“Lord Ren, uh, was released earlier today, General, sir.”

Armitage frowned, taking his hand back and clenching his fists behind his back, shoulders drawn back and stiff. 

“And no one thought to inform me of his condition?”

The tech bit their lip and cleared their throat. 

“Ah, that is, I was told that acting General Pryde was informed immediately, uh, sir…” 

Armitage drew in a sharp breath, nostrils flaring. 

“Yes, right, very good.”

He turned sharply on his heel and marched out of the medbay, fists clenched so hard that he felt the bite of nails in his palm through his thick black gloves. This demotion was going to take some getting used to and the feeling of not being in charge, of having his hard earned power and respect stripped from him was humiliating. 

In the back of his mind, the fact that Ren had been out of the medbay all day and had not contacted him...well, that hurt. He had saved his life, for Force’s sake! Did the man have no pride? No sense of decency? Armitage willfully ignored the voice in his head that said he was just worried, concerned. He shuddered, making his way unerringly to Ren’s quarters. He was starting to not recognize the man he was becoming. 

The corridor, as always, was deserted as Armitage reached Ren’s door. He pushed the visitor button on the pad and waited, arms crossed and foot tapping for Ren to answer. When nothing happened, Armitage growled low and pushed it again and then again. Worried now, after five minutes of nothing, he reached out through the Force, imagining Ren lying on the floor, having hurt himself, or Resistance assassins having gotten aboard or-

His spiraling thoughts and his attempts to reach out to Ren were halted as the door swished open, revealing a visibly irate, half naked Ren. Armitage gaped for a long moment, open mouthed at the vast amount of skin on display, frozen in shock, breath coming short. Ren was so much more massive without his voluminous robes, black tights clinging obscenely to his muscled thighs. 

Armitage swallowed roughly, following the dips and valleys of Ren’s sculpted chest, taking in with greedy eyes the long, red scar that led from his left hip and up, over his perfect chest, running alongside his dusky nipples that pebbled in the draft created by the open doorway. Kark. What would Ren taste like? What would it feel like to be under Ren, to have that muscled chest over him, boxing him in, protecting him from the world? 

Armitage snapped to attention, eyes flying to meet Ren’s own amused ones. The scar on his face was healing nicely, a long red, jagged line that only added to his allure, the bastard. His black hair was a mess, his eyes half lidded. He looked like he had just crawled out of bed, all mussed and warm. Armitage shivered, imagining for a moment, just a small, weak moment, that Ren would let him climb in after him, let him settle in against his broad chest and sleep away the waking nightmare of his life.

Ren raised a thick eyebrow and crossed his arms, leaning against the doorway. Armitage couldn’t help but follow the flow of muscle as he moved, blinking rapidly at how expressive Ren’s face was without that stupid mask. His eyes told all and Armitage wondered if Ren was even capable of deception. Was that why he wore it? To hide his wide, guileless eyes, envious bone structure and pretty lips? 

Armitage cleared his throat and ignored the smug look on Ren’s face, refusing to speculate on why he looked like that. It wasn’t like Ren was reading his thoughts, Armitage would have felt the intrusion. His voice was a bit hoarse when he spoke but he soldiered on, injecting enough spit into his tone that he was sure to rile Ren. 

“You’re looking well, Ren. What a relief.”

Instead of taking the bait, Ren rolled his eyes and stepped back, turning to enter his quarters, waving Armitage to follow. Armitage blinked in surprise but stepped forward just enough for the door to swish closed behind him. He hovered, unsure and watched as Ren filled two glasses with a rich, amber liquid. Without turning, he offered one to Armitage, forcing him further into the room to accept it. 

The arm held out to Armitage was trembling and when Ren retracted it, he flinched then took a slow, deep breath to fight the pain. Armitage swirled the liquid in his glass, sniffed it suspiciously and took a small sip. Poison didn’t seem Ren’s preferred weapon and Armitage had cultivated immunity to the most common ones. One could never be too careful in the First Order. 

He watched wide eyed as Ren tossed back his full glass, the muscles of his throat working as he took large swallows, draining the glass in a few moments. Armitage flushed, wanting more than anything to crowd Ren back to his bed, push him down and start nibbling under his jaw, down his long neck-

Armitage threw back his own drink to distract from his disturbing thoughts and winced at the honeyed burn. He coughed a few times and met Ren’s smiling eyes as his own watered fiercely. He cleared his throat roughly and thrust his empty glass at Ren. 

Ren chuckled, warm and low, moving to refill it and Armitage felt light headed. Liquor on an empty stomach, in the presence of a known enemy was foolish but Armitage accepted his full glass, feeling reckless. He noticed Ren flinch again as he moved and frowned. 

“Should you be out of the medbay?” 

Ren rolled his eyes, still standing in profile, facing the sideboard and threw back another full glass with a grimace. Armitage sipped his slowly, still feeling light headed and fuzzy. How long had Ren been drinking? Ren side eyed him. 

“I’m fine.”

Armitage scoffed, stepping close enough that he could feel the heat of Ren’s body. Kriff, the man was a walking furnace. Armitage shivered and imagined being wrapped up in Ren’s arms, warm and safe. He really needed to leave. Ren would drive his lightsaber through Armitage's chest for these thoughts. 

“You look horrible-”

Ren turned abruptly, the move graceful, lethal and crowded Armitage against the wall behind him. Surprised, Armitage walked back, bumping into the cold steel with a gasp and didn’t fight the large hand that wrapped around his throat. Ren’s grasp was light, a warning pressure that didn’t disrupt his breathing and Ren tipped Armitage's head back to meet his snarling expression. 

“What was that, General?”

Armitage trembled, more aroused than intimidated but he kept his face blank, letting Ren intuit what he willed from Armitage's reactions. The rictus of anger on Ren’s face was a sight to behold, his emotions ever at the surface ready to boil over in an instant. 

What expression would he make if Armitage leaned across the small space between them, molded himself to Ren’s body and kissed him? Stars, he burned to know. He brought his hands up to clutch Ren’s wrist and straining forearm, perversely enjoying the feel of the flexed muscles under his palms.

“I only meant you should give yourself time to recover. Go slow. I didn’t risk my life to save you for you to kill yourself pushing too fast.”

Ren stared at him a moment longer before his shoulders slumped and the fight left his body. He took a step away, his hands falling from Armitage slowly, lingering a bit too long. Armitage stepped forward off the wall, shivering at the loss of Ren’s warmth, missing the hand at his neck, the body pressing him back. Ren bit his lip, looking like a kicked Akk puppy.

“I can’t go slow, Hux. Supreme Leader Snoke has called on me to finish my training. I’ll be gone for months, maybe a year, he said.”

Ren looked scared at the thought of his training and Armitage pursed his lips, remembering the haunted look that Ren got after a short training period with his Master. What would he look like after so long? Would he ever come back? 

Ren was watching him closely with those large black eyes, lips trembling, still standing close enough to touch. The call to him was a physical ache and Armitage reached out, running his fingertips gently over the long scar that bisected Ren’s chest. Ren gasped loudly, the breathy sound echoing around them in the dark, cavernous room. He looked shocked, unsure and so young and lost that Armitage swallowed harshly, wanting nothing more than to take Ren in his arms and hide him from Snoke, from everyone. 

Knowing that would get him killed, Armitage dropped his hand and ducked his head, closing his eyes. He sat down his half full glass with a thump and vowed silently to never touch the stuff again. It was giving him too many witless ideas. 

Armitage gathered his strength and looked back at Ren, trying to pretend nothing untoward had occurred, only to be met with an entrancing sight. There was a slow spreading flush taking over Ren’s body and Armitage followed it up, Ren’s chest, his cheeks and then to the tips of his bright red ears. 

“Are you-”

Ren flinched and snarled but Armitage sensed no ill intent behind it, only embarrassment. He laughed, feeling light at every new weakness that Ren revealed. It was exhilarating to see that Ren was human. 

This Ren, near to naked and blushing before him was no monster, he could be reasoned with. Just a man without his mask, full of brimming, barely leashed emotions. Armitage waved his hand, deciding to have mercy on an invalid.

“What happened out there, Ren? I know you are not easily defeated. How many scores of men did it take to beat you down?” 

Ren swallowed thickly, his blush retreating slowly. He avoided Armitage’s eyes. 

“I submitted a report to you at the behest of the Supreme Leader.”

Armitage laughed bitterly, making Ren look at him with surprise. 

“Have you not been informed of my demotion, Ren? I assumed you would be pleased.”

Ren shook his head, looking worn and exhausted. He paced over to his bed and sat on the edge heavily, arms resting on his thighs. After a moment, he raised his head. 

“Snoke mentioned it but I was too full of sedatives to really listen. I suppose I didn’t fully grasp how your previous duties have been affected.”

Armitage took a deep, calming breath. Ren looked so weak that to yell at him, attack him verbally would be beneath him. He looked ready to fall asleep at any moment. 

“Allegiant General Pryde has not permitted me to read your report, Ren. But there are many rumors flying about. Something about how the scavenger girl bested you, used a lightsaber to strike you down. Ridiculous, of course.”

Ren huffed and pressed a hand to his forehead, looking like he had a headache. Probably the kriffing booze. 

“Not ridiculous.”

Armitage raised an incredulous eyebrow but waited for Ren to speak at his own pace, not wanting to push him too far. 

“The girl, Rey, she’s...special.”

Armitage jerked, feeling like he’d been struck physically. Special? He reached out cautiously with the Force, ready to pull back immediately if Ren noticed his mental presence. He could feel Ren’s growing admiration for the girl, this Rey. He pulled back as the hot, scalding feeling of jealousy ran through his body, making his heart beat faster, twisting his stomach into knots. He pushed it away viciously. He didn’t own Ren, had no right to feel possessive of him. They were nothing to each other. 

“She is powerful in the Force. A nobody, no training, no Master, from a filthy, backwater planet...It’s incredible, Hux. And the Stormtrooper, FN-2187, he’s force sensitive. Together they defeated me.” 

The hot jealousy drained from Armitage quickly as he gaped at Ren, meeting his tired eyes. 

“The traitor? He has force abilities?” 

Ren nodded, his gaze contemplative as he stared at Armitage, taking in his reaction carefully. Armitage shook his head, laughing. 

“That...I don’t even know what to say. It all sounds like some children’s tale.”

Ren’s lips quirked in a small smile, his eyes warming. 

“It’s no child’s tale, Armitage. I promise you, domination of the galaxy has become a little more complicated. I have faith in the First Order, we will snuff out our opposition.”

Armitage's head spun at the sound of his name in Ren’s mouth, sensing his tongue caressing the syllables and pushing them slowly past his lips. 

Then the rest of his sentiment caught up with Armitage and he cleared his throat, feeling guilty and saddened, knowing that his future didn’t align with the goals of the First Order any longer. He felt like an imposter, standing here in unfamiliar camaraderie with Ren. He didn’t belong here. What was he doing?

Soon, Force willing, Armitage would be gone and Snoke would not let him escape unscathed. Armitage was too much of a liability to leave as a loose end, he held too much knowledge that would be dangerous in the right hands. 

Snoke would send Ren, his loyal apprentice, to hunt down Armitage and kill him. Ren would stop at nothing in his pursuit. He would put that stupid bucket back on his head and disappear into the monster that was Lord Ren. That emotionless black visor would be the last thing that Armitage saw before eternal darkness.

He was startled out of his thoughts by a soft, barely there touch on his face. He took a sharp breath and realized that Ren had silently approached him, standing close enough that Armitage felt his breath on his face, to gently palpate the darkening bruise around his left eye. His large, thick fingers were so tender but his face was furious, the snarl from earlier back in full force. 

“Who did this to you? I’ll kill them.”

A warmth blossomed in Armitage’s chest even as he smiled sadly at Ren. Ren frowned and cupped his face in his large palm and Armitage pressed into it, chasing the heat and rare comfort. 

“Your Master did this, Ren.”

Armitage ducked away and turned his back, wanting to flee that shocked look on Ren’s face. Why was Ren so surprised? Armitage had seen the wounds Snoke loved to inflict on his apprentice, after calling it necessary ‘training’. Ren stopped him, speaking softly as Armitage reached out to open the door. 

“My time on the surface of Starkiller is hazy but I could swear my injuries were fatal. I knew the end was nigh when you found me. I thought you had come to torture me in the afterlife.”

Armitage turned slowly, baffled. Ren was standing tall and proud in the middle of his room, unflinching, staring at Armitage as if what he said next was of the highest importance. 

“I cleaned and checked your wounds, Ren. You were stable enough to transport to the Finalizer, merely unconscious and moaning pathetically. I’m quite sure that you were confused by the blood loss.”

He marched back to Ren, getting in his face, doing his best to play at high offense. He couldn’t let Ren remain suspicious of his injuries. He was smart enough to connect the dots of his survival and Armitage finding him. Ren looked amused and Armitage let it inflame him further. He sneered. 

“What makes you think that should I die, I would waste my time in the afterlife on you? I would make sure to be as far away from you as possible, Ren. I’ve had more than enough of you for an eternity, I assure you.”

Ren’s dark chuckle followed his retreat and a dry, unbelieving, 

“As you say, General.” 

Armitage let himself collapse, shaking back in his own quarters and poured a large glass of Corellian wine, trying to will away the phantom feeling of Ren’s warm hand on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

Ren left the next cycle without a word, retreating to his cruel Master for ‘training’. Armitage refused to speculate on what fresh bantha shit Snoke had planned for his recovering apprentice. He had his own self to worry about. 

Without Ren’s distracting and oddly calming presence aboard the Finalizer, Armitage was left to languish alone, surrounded by sneering officers and former subordinates that couldn’t meet his eyes. His title and duties were so ill defined that he was adrift, left to trail behind Pryde, silently suffering one indignity after another. 

What was this meant to achieve? Did Snoke think that such humiliation would drive him insane, that he would do anything, beg and debase himself further for any scrap of respect? All it did was inflame his traitorous thoughts, catching a fire in his chest that was fed each time Pryde gave him a sardonic look or made a subtly cutting remark to the laughter of his boot licking followers. 

How had Armitage not seen how much Pryde and the other officers despised him? Had he just been willfully ignorant? Lost in his plans for grandeur, developing the Starkiller to the detriment of risk awareness?

To his own embarrassment, Armitage allowed himself to stew in his misery for much too long. He was a man of action, of impressive plans and a fierce will to achieve them, no matter the obstacle. He blamed Ren and their confusing new dynamic. Ren had been almost...civil, flirtatious? No. He couldn’t think like that. It didn’t matter now. He would not be here when, if, Ren returned. Ren was nothing to him and he must stay that way. 

After a lunar month, Pryde began sending Armitage on useless missions, obviously not even considering that Armitage would flee. The longer Armitage played the fallen officer, desperate to claw his way back to the top, no matter how low he had to stoop, the more lax Pryde became. 

Leaving Armitage alone in Pryde’s office, letting him have unfettered access to the HoloNet once again and the time wasting missions. Had Armitage truly planned on deposing Pryde, he could easily fabricate his fall from grace, especially with the glaring absence of Snoke and Ren. 

As it was, Armitage used his reinstated resources to craft an exit plan. It was risky and quite foolish but he had no other choice and to wait around for a better plan was intolerable. The time to leave was now, no Snoke, no Ren and a distracted Pryde was a star alignment that he could not squander. 

Armitage knew that the Resistance was monitoring First Order activity on the HoloNet and he knew which frequency they had access to. He had used the knowledge for the First Order in the past, leaking false leads to the enemy. He used it now, giving them all the information they needed to triangulate the coordinates for the coming useless, fetch mission Pryde had given him. 

***

As he stepped off of his personal transport, sans bodyguard, into the arid wasteland that was Jakku, Armitage couldn’t help but think of Ren and his scavenger turned force wielder, Rey. Perhaps it was fitting that he would be plucked from the planet a prisoner of the Resistance as the First Order had once sought to do the same to the traitor FN-2187 and his allies. 

His mission here, according to Pryde was to meet with the reformed militia of Niima Outpost and make reparations. Apparently, Constable Zuvio had access to resources that the First Order wanted enough to play nice for the time being. Pryde had grinned smugly when telling him that a good amount of grovelling was needed and Armitage was the perfect man for the job. Instead of clawing his eyes out, Armitage had smiled blandly, accepting the reports handed to him. 

His reception was icy but Armitage could be quite charming when he chose. It wasn’t hard to stroke the egos of the idiot lawmen in charge and they fell under his spell easily. They led him to one of the last standing hovels in the middle of town, near the market and left him to his own devices for the night in a modest, if a bit dusty, room. 

It was dark, with a low ceiling, no window but he was a gracious guest, remembering the scores of villagers that would sleep on the streets tonight. The First Order had torn through Niima Outpost like a wild, enraged beast, destroying all in its path. 

Armitage drew his cloak tighter around himself, lifting the edge to cover his face and stepped from the building, eyes moving to take in his surroundings. His mission was a short one, an initial opening volley to meet with Zuvio and feel out the opportunity for further negotiations. He was due to return to the Finalizer tomorrow, in the early afternoon. If the Resistance were to strike, tonight would be the most opportune time. 

He did his best to make an attractive target, taking alleys that he felt safe to, wandering the shoddy market stalls, viewing the goods he came across with obvious disdain. There would be no mistaking who he was and with luck, General Organa would not be foolish enough to let an unarmed, highly knowledgeable target like a general of the First Order pass unmolested. 

Of course, Organa would send her most efficient and most annoying agent. 

He was leaving another alley, shoulders hunched and growing ever more impatient when two shadowy figures grabbed him and pinned him to the nearest derelict, crumbling wall, hard enough to knock the breath from his chest. They both had their faces obscured with cloth and the fading light of the single sun blinded Armitage for a moment as he struggled to get his bearings under the sudden assault. 

The one on the right held him still with suffocating pressure on his chest and shoulder and the figure on the left pressed the warm muzzle of a blaster pistol into his cheek, the low hum of the oscillating blaster charge vibrating the delicate bones of his face. He held still as they studied him, giving them no reason to shoot. Hopefully, whoever Organa had entrusted the capture of Armitage with was too loyal to just shoot him dead. 

“Well, well, Huggsy. What are you doing out here all alone? Isn’t it a little dangerous for your kind without someone to fight your battles for you? I had planned for your attack dog, Ren, to be stalking your every move.”

The other figure shook their head, tsking loudly. 

“Looks like he’s fallen lower than we anticipated. Or maybe the First Order has grown too careless. Either way, good for us. Bad for you, little General.”

Oh, no. He knew that first voice. He cleared his throat and lifted his chin, keeping calm. He had to maneuver this, keep the situation firmly in the ‘hostage situation’ territory. It was just like Organa to send the only people who had a personal vendetta against him. What was she thinking? 

Armitage focused on the figure with the blaster, ignoring their petty insults. The man not Dameron was making waves in the Force, calling to Armitage’s attention in a way no other had. It was an instant recognition of another force user. The traitor?

“Dameron. Charmed as always. And this must be FN-2187, your constant shadow these days?”

Dameron dug the muzzle of the blaster deeper into his cheek and Armitage winced, watching as the pilot leaned closer. He unwrapped his head enough to bare his teeth and sneer. 

“His name is Finn, you fascist fuck. Remember it so I don’t have to kick your ass.”

Armitage raised an eyebrow at the vitriol in Dameron’s tone and looked back to FN-2187, Finn. 

“Of course... Finn. Pardon me, Resistance officer, sir.”

Dameron growled but Finn moved his hand from Armitage’s chest to hold his companion still, who had raised his hand as if to punch Armitage. 

“Relax, Poe. Leia said unharmed.”

Dameron sniffed but lowered his arm, side eyeing Finn sourly. Finn uncovered his own face and stared Dameron down, pursing his lips and looking disgustingly earnest. How had the young man ever been a Stormtrooper? 

“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind a few scratches.”

Finn gave him an exasperated look and turned back to Armitage. His eyes were piercing, as if they could see through him and Armitage barely suppressed the instinct to shift nervously. His mental shields were strong and he hid his shock well at feeling Finn reach out through the Force to him, brushing along the edges of his consciousness, clumsy in his attempt to read Armitage. He was obviously a novice at it, bumbling and straining to get any kind of reading. An untrained mind such as his wouldn’t sense Armitage’s shields. 

Did he do this to every person he met, pawing inelegantly at their delicate minds or was it reserved for enemies only. Did his little friends even know of his abilities? The puzzle of Finn was fascinating but Armitage forced his mind to the present. One wrong move and he’d be left behind. These idiots were his best chance at escaping Snoke and the far reaching First Order.

“As fun as it is for me to watch you squabble amongst yourselves, is there a point to assaulting a powerful general of the First Order?” 

Finn rolled his eyes and Dameron laughed loudly, cruelly. They exchanged a look, speaking without words again and Armitage was hit with a confusing, overwhelming bolt of envy. There was obviously a strong bond between his two captors, an unspoken loyalty and a declared fondness. 

Armitage was beginning to understand what he had really sacrificed for his poisonous ambitions. He was surrounded by people who at least hated him and at most were plotting his dramatic, painful demise. Where did Ren and Phasma fall on that line, one side or the other, in the middle? He suspected he would never know. 

The two of them said nothing, covering their faces once again. Finn hauled him off the wall roughly, starting to march him forward, moving to leave the village. Dameron stayed behind them, keeping pace while training his primed blaster on the back of Armitage’s head. Armitage followed their lead, giving a low hum after a few moments. 

“I see. This is an ill conceived kidnapping. Am I to be ransomed in exchange for Resistance prisoners? Or perhaps I am to be taken to your force user, the feral scavenger woman. Is she going to tear apart my mind for scraps of information on the First Order. I’m afraid she won’t get much out of me. I’ve fallen from the Supreme Leader’s grace, you understand.”

Finn snorted and pushed him to move faster, making him stumble. The idiots hadn’t even secured his hands. What was stopping him from pulling his own blaster and...Oh, right. He had left that on the transport but they hadn’t even searched him for it. Was the Resistance ranks comprised of incompetent fools or did they think him so weak? People usually died a quick death after underestimating General Armitage Hux. 

Armitage blew a slow breath through his nose, forcing his shoulders to relax. He would nurse his wounded pride later, from his shining jail cell on whatever backwater planet the Resistance called home. Finn seemed to fidget as they walked, opening his mouth a few times before resolving to speak. 

“Unlike the First Order, the Resistance doesn’t torture their prisoners. Rey would never violate someone like that. We all know what it’s like and I wouldn’t wish it even on my enemy.”

Armitage scoffed. 

“You have sat in on their interrogations, then? Seen with your own eyes how they treat their enemies, have you?”

Finn pursed his lips and didn’t answer but Dameron pushed him from behind. Armitage threw him a glare over his shoulder. 

“That’s what I thought. You low clearance idiots have no idea what your precious general has planned for me. Don’t patronize me. I know how these things go.”

Dameron growled behind him and muttered. 

“I bet you do, you murdering scum.”

Armitage threw his head back, offended. 

“Not that I care what you think about me, Dameron, but I never killed anyone who didn’t deserve it.”

Dameron spun him with a heavy hand on his shoulder and came at him, looking wild but Finn stepped between them, shoving Dameron back. 

“You bastard! What about all those innocent people on Hosnian Prime, huh? Did they deserve to be murdered?”

Finn’s broad shoulders cut off Dameron’s raging face and Armitage swallowed heavily, remembering the screams, the terror, the pain and hopelessness. No, those people hadn’t deserved the injustice visited upon them and Armitage, no matter what he did for the rest of his life, would always be guilty, would always be a genocidal murderer.

He was silent the rest of the way to their ship. 

*** 

Dameron and Finn kept Armitage well away from the cockpit of their trashy little transport, cuffed in the back, among the cargo. It was humiliating and completely expected so he endured it with as much grace as he was able. He saw no sign of Dameron the whole time but Finn seemed incapable of staying away. He brought every meal to Armitage and made sure he was warm, offering too many blankets and pillows for his sad cot. But worst of all was that Finn insisted that they talk about… nothing, about stupid things. 

“Where were you born? What planet?”

Armitage grimaced and dropped his worn spoon into his empty bowl with a clang. 

“What the kriff does that matter for? Shouldn’t you leave the interrogation to the professionals?”

Finn shrugged and ducked his head before steeling himself and meeting Armitage’s glare head on. Armitage was secretly impressed with his fortitude, his unapologetic courage. How had this man been relegated to a Stormtrooper? It seemed that with the right kind of encouragement, this ‘trooper had bloomed into an actual person, one with thoughts and agency. 

Did that mean the rest of his ilk had that same potential? Armitage had never once thought of the bodies and minds that filled the white washed Stormtrooper army, leaving that to the ever capable Phasma. He knew the basics; some were brainwashed, reprogrammed as needed, stolen as children, rumored to be clones. Where was the truth? Imagining Finn in that same armor, with dead eyes and murderous leanings...it made Armitage feel a bit ill. 

How had his force sensitivity gone unseen? Armitage could feel Finn’s mind, reaching for his, struggling for a connection, desperate for guidance. Perhaps with the strict life in the First Order, Finn’s mind and abilities had been locked away, only to see a way out of the darkness after breaking free from his oppression. Armitage may have been a cog, albeit a large one, in the machine of the First Order but he was still partially responsible for that oppression. Was this what the Resistance fought for? Free will? A chance for individuality? 

Armitage sighed and closed his eyes, pressing two fingers to his brow. All of this intense introspection was giving him a migraine and he sensed that it would only get worse the longer he was away from the direct influence of the First Order and Snoke. Had he fallen prey to some sort of brainwashing as well or just expert manipulation? He had never cared to see the truth before, content with his place and the distant consequences of his actions. 

He felt Finn come closer and opened his eyes warily to access his captor for any danger. The man frowned at him, leaning in a bit too close, looking...concerned? 

“Headache? We might have something around here for that…”

Finn began rummaging around the immediate area, throwing junk and baubles over his shoulder. Finally, he produced a dusty looking vial and turned back to Armitage, grinning. 

“Aha! I’ve used this before for mild pains.”

Armitage frowned as Finn poured a bit of it into his caf but took the chipped and bent mug from him despite his apprehension. Finn didn’t seem the type to poison someone...on purpose. He sniffed at it before taking a shallow sip. The caf tasted fine and he took another, staring at Finn’s pleased looking face. The man was a karking ball of sunshine, too good for this galaxy. Against his will, Armitage was a small, tiny bit, only a little endeared. He cleared his throat. 

“Arkanis.”

Finn gave him a confused look, tilting his head and squinting his eyes. 

“What?”

Armitage rolled his eyes and huffed, still sipping the probably not poisoned caf. 

“My homeworld, Arkanis. A depressing, rainy military state, good for pumping out loyal soldiers and large weapons of war. At least, that’s all I remember of it, I didn’t spend much time outside the Academy.”

Finn’s eyes lit up and he nodded encouragingly.

“I’ve never seen heavy rain. There is a lot of jungle on- uh, where we are going but most of my time in underground- shit. I shouldn’t have said that…”

Armitage hid a smirk behind his hand, pretending to rub his face.

“You’re bad at this. Maybe you shouldn’t be back here feeding the enemy captive vital information about the Resistance base.”

Finn shrugged helplessly. 

“I was a janitor, not a spy. And your parents? I bet you had parents.” 

Armitage drew himself to sit tall and glared at Finn again, the gentle mood between the two destroyed. 

“My parents- you know what? Interrogation over. Thank you for the caf, now go away.”

Finn was silent, studying him with a far too keen gaze, eyes knowing and sad. 

“You know, I never knew my parents or if I even had parents. None of us did.”

Armitage’s posture deflated and he stared down into the dark liquid in his mug, unable to keep Finn’s bright gaze. 

“Yes, I know. Snoke wanted a blank slate for the ‘troopers. Keep them loyal and subdued, he always says.” 

He glanced up briefly and watched Finn’s face close off, his posture turning guarded. An ugly feeling of guilt settled in his stomach and he already missed their unexpected moment of camaraderie, even if it was for the sake of softening Armitage up for the questions to come. Make small talk and then go for the military and political information. He would be lucky if the Resistance stopped at enforced intel retrieval and didn’t take their pound of flesh while they were at it. 

Even if the Force was compelling him to make nice with Finn, Armitage was not here to make friends. He was trying to escape a fate much worse at the First Order’s hands. He had been lucky that Snoke disappeared to focus on his apprentice and not kept his omnipotent presence aboard the Finalizer. Snoke would have sensed Armitage’s failing loyalty eventually and taken the fallen general in hand, likely killed as an example to the rest; There was no escape from the influence of the First Order. 

Armitage’s last hope was that the Resistance could provide much needed protection from Snoke and Ren. He had to stay cooperative, meek and most of all, useful. With his defection, some balance might return to the galaxy.

Finn opened his mouth to respond, hopefully with something cutting, more proof of his missing programming but a shout floated back to them from the cockpit. 

“Finn, we are about to land, buddy! Get your cute butt up here.” 

***

A lush, verdant sight met Armitage as he was ushered off of the ship, Dameron and Finn on either side of him, each holding a bound arm. A large crowd had gathered to watch the defeated march of the enemy and beyond their sneering and curious faces, a jungle spread far and wide into the horizon. After a lifetime of living behind the marble walls of the Academy and serving aboard the Finalizer surrounded by harsh durasteel, the jungle was a beautiful sight. Of course, he was only able to bask in it for a short moment before he was forced to meet his immediate fate. 

A powerful presence called to him and Armitage snapped his head to the side, meeting the eyes of a windswept but regal woman. His captors led him straight to her, a beacon of light among the darkness of war and uncertainty. Standing mere feet from her, Armitage could feel her power in the Force, she was doing nothing to hide it from him. But why would she? Her power and the power of her family was no secret, she had not had to hide like Armitage, afraid of torture and death if all was revealed. 

Her face was set in a stern glare, hands folded in front of her and she was silent for a long, torturous moment, her steely eyes assessing him coldly from head to toe. He had been stripped of his greatcoat, gloves and all weapons aboard the transport ship, left in his jodhpurs, calf boots and a white undershirt. He knew after a few days sleeping on a cot and having no access to a fresher that he made a pathetic sight; dirty, rumpled, tired and, though he would deny it loudly, scared. She broke the contemplative silence, making Armitage startle. 

“General Hux, I’ve been expecting you.”

Armitage drew himself up, looking down his nose at her. 

“General Organa, I’m sure even you have heard that I am a general no more. I’m not sure what good I am to you on current affairs of the First Order. This plot has been a waste of your time, I’m afraid.”

She smiled then, a small, amused quirk of her lips, eyes dancing. The change was small but overwhelming, transforming her from intimidating general to approachable mentor. Kriff, no wonder so many followed her on what was becoming a suicide mission. Was she using the Force or was her charm so powerful all on its own? 

She had a face that said she would understand a person, no matter their sins and a bearing that inspired trust. It filled Armitage with a frustrated yearning to reach for her, to have her absolve him. But she couldn’t take away Armitage's sins, no one could.

“No, Armitage, your time here with us will be very productive.”

Armitage startled again at the use of his name and frowned as Organa spun on her heel and motioned for him to follow. He darted a gaze to Finn and Dameron but they only stared back at him. Finn tilted his head towards Organa and Armitage rolled his eyes before following her, the two of them flanking him as they walked. He avoided the gazes of the gathered crowd, concentrating on staring at the back of Organa’s head, wide eyed as he sensed the disturbance she caused in the Force. 

It would be child’s play for this woman to tear through his shields and access the deepest parts of his mind. Was she the type to do so? Armitage doubted it, he could sense that the balance of the Force within her was Light, the Dark perfectly suppressed, controlled. And there was something...familiar about her presence, something that called for his attention.

So lost in his thoughts, Armitage stumbled over the edge of the tarmac, letting out an embarrassing sound, barely catching his footing. Organa didn’t pause in her stride and he heard Dameron chuckle darkly next to him. He shot the man a glare and shrugged off Finn when he stepped forward to take his elbow. He knew he was blushing but he held his head high, taking longer steps to close the distance, drawing abreast of Organa’s sedate pace. 

“You know, you are much shorter than I imagined.”

Organa smirked and turned to give him an exaggerated wink. 

“And you are much more handsome than people say, General.” 

Armitage, much to his dismay, stumbled again and this time, when Finn stepped forward to help, he didn’t shrug off the hand on his elbow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dedicate this chapter to HBHau, who's encouraging comment made me sit my ass down and open my google docs. xoxo

The Resistance base underground was massive, bunker-like and cleaner than Armitage had expected. Tall, looming ceilings, impressive equipment, clean facilities and even cleaner uniforms. They were regimented, proud of their allies and machines, hard working. Obviously, the First Order was very misinformed about the competency of their enemy or Snoke worked hard to make sure the Resistance was viewed as being comprised of nothing more than grasping peasants, disenfranchised and raging ineffectually against the behemoth that was the First Order. 

He was marched through most of it, a tactic that he secretly approved of; show your prisoner how strong you are, intimidate them, break their spirit. The little tour didn’t break his spirit as much as bolster it, reassuring Armitage that his plan was the right one. Defecting to the Resistance had been the right move. He just needed to have General Organa on his side, advocating for not separating his head from his shoulders. 

He allowed Finn to guide him with a gentle hand on his elbow, following close behind Organa, Dameron at their heels. As if sensing his gaze, Organa looked over her shoulder at him and sent Armitage a small smirk before turning back to the corridor. He narrowed his eyes at the back of her head, suspicious and unnerved. Organa acted as if she knew all, as if she could see into his heart, knew his past and his future. How much of that was an act of intimidation and how much was real? He had no doubt that she was incredibly adept in the Force, could she really read him so perfectly? 

His spiraling thoughts ended abruptly as Organa guided their little group to a faded white door. It swished open, revealing an opulent office, clearly belonging to the General. The whole back wall was transparisteel, heavy metal blinds open to reveal an impressive view of the hangar bay beyond. The bustle of workers in the bay was kept silent, no sound escaping into or out of the room. 

Directly in front sat a large desk, heavy and dark, every spare space of it filled with random engineering parts, holopads and what looked suspiciously like lightsaber parts. Armitage raised an intrigued eyebrow, fingers itching with the need to touch. Other than being on the wrong end of Ren’s own lightsaber, Armitage had only ever seen these parts and pieces in books. To the side of the desk, drilled into the wall was what looked like a workbench, covered with even more weapon and armor parts. 

There was a war table taking up the middle of the room, deactivated and dark. He was led past that and to the side and he allowed Finn to release his bound hands and press him down to sit on a plush couch. Armitage curled his lip at how garishly yellow it was. He shifted, rubbing his wrists, finding the couch to be quite comfortable. 

He could feel Dameron fuming behind him, an impatient presence and Finn stood at his shoulder, a pillar of quiet strength, an unnecessary and undeserved tentative ally. Did   
Finn feel some kind of obligation to Armitage because they both defected from the First Order to the Resistance? Or did he unconsciously sense Armitage’s force sensitivity? Either way, Armitage was secretly pleased and comforted. At least one person here didn’t wish him instantly dead. 

General Organa seated herself across from him, beyond the small, low table, on a bright green couch. He pursed his lips at it, disgusted. Their interior decorator had a lot to answer for…

Organa gave him an amused smile and he quickly checked his mental shields. They had not been breached but the knowing look on her face sent chills down his spine. Was this an intimidation tactic? Pretend to know all and scare the enemy or did Organa truly have access to his secrets? 

Armitage huffed and straightened his spine, sitting tall and unaffected, face closed off. He had never felt more off kilter in his life. Organa raised an eyebrow at his posturing but said nothing, waving one of the guards over. They came immediately, leaning down, one hand on their blaster, still holstered, glaring at Armitage. 

“Syvin, be a dear and bring the tea tray over, would you?”

She looked back at Armitage, eyes sparkling. 

“Would you join me for tea, General Hux? I find it relaxing.”

Armitage cleared his throat, eyeing the chocolate biscuits as the tray was set in front of them. 

“I suppose I could be talked into a cup and some of those…”

She smiled and made a small plate of biscuits for him, setting it close before pouring the tea. The fragrant aroma of tarine leaves wafted between them and Armitage breathed deep, shoulders relaxing. Organa lifted one cup, closed her eyes and inhaled before giving a wistful sigh. She pinned him with a hawk like gaze, setting the cup in front of him.

“I’m more fond of Cassius tea myself, it’s good for these old bones. Tarine tea is a favorite of yours, correct?” 

Armitage tensed again, grinding his teeth to stop the harsh words that wanted to escape. How the kriff did Organa know that? Was she reading his mind? Or was she displaying the power and skill of the Resistance information network...hinting at possible spies within the First Order? Why would the Resistance care about his favorite tea? He cleared his throat and picked up his cup, taking a small sip. He hated how delicious it was. 

“Thank you, General. I appreciate your hospitality.”

The words were stilted, his jaw stiff, stomach in knots. As torture tactics went, leaving the prisoner to die of anticipation and suspense was particularly nefarious. She waved a   
hand at the plate of biscuits. 

“Try those, General. I confess we share the same love of chocolate. One of many things we have in common.”

Struck a little speechless, Armitage complied, picking up the closest chocolate biscuit and taking a delicate bite. It was a perfect mouthful of crumbly, buttery, chocolaty goodness. He chewed slowly, savoring the taste, convinced this was a last kindness before he was thrown into a stark cell, relegated to watery porridge and stale bread.   
Organa leaned back and watched him with an indulgent smile, crossing her legs, leaning left and tipping her chin into her open palm. Armitage swallowed thickly, taking another sip of tea, reluctant to break her gaze, like a man watching a snake, ready for it to strike. 

After a few moments of silence and Dameron shifting and sighing behind Armitage, Organa waved her hand. 

“I think it’s time to speak of business. Leave us, now.”

The guards looked between Organa and Armitage, looking mutinous, one even going as far as to speak,

“General-”

She leveled a stern gaze at them, silencing them immediately and Armitage raised an impressed eyebrow at her commanding presence. 

“I’m sure Captain Dameron and Lieutenant Finn are more than capable of handling General Hux in the event that he is foolish enough to attack me in the middle of enemy ground.” 

Her power made waves through the Force, reaching for the guards in the room, inspiring obedience and awe. It made him think of Ren, the feeling of her power a familiar press on his mind and the Lord’s angry, guileless eyes flashed through his mind’s eye as the guards scrambled to obey. Even so far away, Ren still followed him. Would he ever escape that man? 

Organa turned her attention back to Armitage, that damn knowing sparkle still in her eyes. It was starting to grate on his nerves. She sat up straight and folded her hands over her crossed knees, no less intimidating despite her cordial air.

“Well, I suppose I should officially welcome you to the Resistance base, General. How do you find it?”

Armitage swallowed the biscuit in his mouth and cleared his throat, leaning forward to set his cup of tea on the table. He sat straight as well, trying to match Organa’s quiet pride. 

“Please, General Organa, call me Hux. I am no longer a general of the First Order nor am I displeased with that turn of fortune. As for this place...I always pictured the   
Resistance as living in a hovel. Although, I did get the hole in the ground correct.”

Finn snorted beside him before covering the reaction with a cough and Dameron muttered something in a low growl. Organa laughed outright, a soft, rumbling chuckle that struck something within Armitage, made him feel nostalgic and lonely. What was it about her?

“I’m sure it doesn’t live up to your bright and shiny starship, Hux, but we make do.”

Armitage shook his head. 

“No, this base is impressive. I-well, I must say I prefer it to the Finalizer, for many reasons.”

He looked to the side, feeling vulnerable and unable to face how he was judged for his revelation. He felt flayed open and he knew that it would only grow worse. He needed to be honest for once in his kriffing life, his future depended on it. 

Organa hummed and leaned forward for her own tea, her movements graceful and refined. Armitage recalled his extensive research into the Skywalker family, legends, jedi, politicians. How could so much Dark and Light exist in one bloodline? 

The Force within him whispered softly, ‘balance’. Yes, the Skywalker bloodline was so powerful because there existed polarity within it, opposing forces that pushed and pulled against each other to create the perfect balance, the perfect family to influence all of the galaxy. 

What would happen when that bloodline was extinguished? It was near to extinct already; a missing Jedi Master, a dead Solo, an aging Organa... and rumors of a missing son, Ben Solo. A man that no one knew the location of, probably already dead. A mysterious player taken off the board before he could even begin to influence the game. 

“I’m glad you like it here, Hux, because I know you are not here against your will.”

Finn stood up straighter and he heard Dameron draw in a sharp breath, they both went still, waiting for his answer. Organa continued before he could, as if anticipating his denial. 

“The HoloNet ‘leak’ of you location was a fabrication...done by you. I could feel the intention behind the message, I could feel your desperation, your impotent rage and your fear.”

She tilted her head, gaze boring into him. 

“If you weren’t shielding your mind so well, I would be able to feel them still.”

For a brief moment, Armitage contemplated denying her claims, fighting and raging against her. But that was his contrarian nature coming into play, his inner chaos surfacing to self sabotage. He ruthlessly pressed down the urge to poke and prod and elicit anger and disgust.

This wasn’t the Finalizer, to sow negative emotions would get him further from his goal. He was beginning to wonder exactly what his goal was...Armitage hadn’t thought far beyond his escape. Too afraid that his plans would be revealed before they could be enacted. 

“It’s true. I engineered my own kidnapping. I knew you wouldn’t be able to give up the opportunity to capture me. I also knew that without the full protection of the Resistance that I wouldn’t make it very far. Snoke and his apprentice will stop at nothing to neutralize me. Where else could I have run that would be safer, for me and for my sanctuary? You, General, are more than prepared to face the First Order, with or without me in your ranks.” 

A shadow passed over her face at the mention of Snoke and Ren, a flash of such sad despair, gone in an instant and Armitage wondered briefly if he imagined it. Dameron gave an incredulous laugh and Armitage felt the couch give as he leaned forward to brace his weight on it, suppressing the need to turn and face him, hating the feel of the enemy at his back. Finn stayed still and silent, looking prepared to listen and observe. 

“Are you karking serious? “In our ranks?” That’s ridiculous! Over my dead body, Huggsy!” 

Armitage pursed his lips, making a sour face at the nickname and turned to glare at Dameron. He looked smug at having prodded a reaction out of him before his face was furious once more, returning Armitage’s glare with equal venom. 

“I am willing to provide you with precious intel against the First Order. Having me here, a hugely valuable resource, is more than enough to win this damn war for you, Dameron. I suggest you think of that the next time you feel like insulting me.”

Dameron scoffed and stood back up, crossing his arms, still glaring. It looked like he was in physical pain not being able to snark back but he knew Armitage was right. They all needed to calm down and play nice, no matter their personal grudges. Finn stepped up beside Dameron and placed a comforting hand on the man’s shoulder. 

“He’s right, Poe. We need to calm down. I mean look at me, I defected from the First Order and now I’m dedicated to the Resistance, prepared to do anything to win this war, to free the oppressed and protect the weak.”

Dameron turned to Finn, shaking his head emphatically. 

“It’s not the same, Finn and you know it!”

“Maybe his motivations aren’t as altruistic and yeah, he’s done horrible things under the banner of fascist but...so have I. You know that there are things I did as a Stormtrooper that I’m ashamed of, things I’ll never stop making amends for. So, please, Poe, for me, let’s give him a chance.” 

Dameron stared at Finn, looking frustrated before his shoulders slumped and he gave a loud sigh before muttering, 

“Those kriffing puppy eyes, I can’t say no to them.” 

Finn gave him a blinding smile, squeezing his shoulder, looking so happy and soft that Armitage sneered and rolled his eyes. These two were so disgustingly cute. Dameron shook his head, turning to wag a stern finger at Armitage. 

“Fine, fine! One chance, bucko. But I’m keeping an eye on you.”

Armitage huffed and turned back to Organa, finding her looking on the exchange with amused fondness. She focused back on him as the two idiots behind him fell silent, looking far more serious and expectant. 

“There is one more thing that I need you to clear up for me before we can talk about your time here with us, Hux.” 

Armitage shifted nervously before controlling himself, knowing and dreading what came next. Organa gave him a patient smile. 

“I’m sure you can guess where I’m going with this and please don’t keep us in suspense, Hux. You have already answered the ‘why us’ but why leave the First Order at all? Why now?”

Armitage gave a deep sigh, clenching his hands into fists. 

“You said, before, that I was shielding my mind…”

He cleared his throat as she nodded. Finn came around the back of the couch and sat beside him, a scant few inches between their bodies. He expected to tense up at the bold intrusion, usually when a man came so close they were planning to hurt him. But Finn didn’t reach out to touch and the quiet calm of his mind relaxed Armitage. He glanced at the man from the corner of his eye, surprised to see him almost fibrating with suppressed emotion, his face eager and excited. 

“Only someone with Force sensitivity can shield their minds and, by the stars, you must be strong to block out Leia!”

Armitage turned his head to meet Finn’s gaze, suspicious of the almost reverent tone to his voice. Clearly, Finn worshipped force users. Had he done so to Ren before his defection? Had Finn been like so many low level workers aboard the Finalizer who gossiped and followed Ren’s every move with dreamy sighs? 

The thought was beyond humorous but a small part of Armitage was jealous. What did his little fan club like so much about Ren? His muscles? His tall, overbearing presence? His raw strength when he tore his way through the Finalizer in a rage? Armitage scoffed. Idiots. 

They knew nothing of Ren. They didn’t see his dedication, his passion, how gentle and delicate his big hands were when he repaired his lightsaber, how he hunched his shoulders, trying to become smaller when he was unsure of his welcome, the way his lips quirked and his eyes warmed when he was amused by something Armitage said…

Armitage blinked, embarrassed by his own thoughts and refocused on Finn’s expectant face. 

“I-I have no idea how strong I am in the Force. The only other force user I have ever met was Kylo Ren and I couldn’t trust him with the knowledge of my powers, let alone seek guidance from him.”

He threw Organa a helpless glance as he spoke, uncomfortable with Finn’s single minded enthusiasm. A dark cloud passed over her face again at the mention of Ren and Armitage raised an eyebrow, intrigued and suspicious. Did Organa know of Ren’s fearsome reputation? Without Ren, surely, Snoke would not have been so effective in suppressing the Resistance’s efforts to defy the First Order and procure recruits. Propaganda was a powerful tool in war and Ren was a highly marketable man when it came to intimidation. His reputation alone was enough to strike fear into the hearts of prospective Resistance operatives. 

Finn made appropriate noises of commiseration. 

“Yeah, Ren is scary, huh? It’s hard to believe that he’s-”

Organa cleared her throat pointedly and gave Finn a piercing glare. Finn cut off and snapped his mouth shut with a clack and rubbed his hands on his thighs, a nervous gesture. Dameron made a questioning noise behind them and Armitage narrowed his eyes at Organa.

She ignored them both and Finn gave an awkward laugh, making her lips quirk in a half smile. The sight of it made Armitage’s heart lurch, a nostalgic feeling rising in his breast but she spoke before he could examine it further. 

“You can trust me, Hux. Despite your past allegiances, I know your intentions are genuine; you wish to change, correct? But...there will be questions from the others, ones that I must be able to answer.”

Armitage nodded. 

“Of course, General, but you must understand that in the past, for me to speak of the Force or my abilities was met with ill hidden scorn and traumatic abuse...from my people and my own family.”

Finn made a distressed noise, laying a heavy, warm hand on Armitage’s shoulder and the look Organa gave him in response to his concerns was so sympathetic that his eyes burned with tears. Only a lifetime of suppressing his emotions allowed Armitage to swallow them back. By the Force, was this what he had to look forward to, being surrounded by empathy and warmth? The thought filled him with equal parts nausea and yearning. He turned to meet Finn’s eyes. 

“I suppose it was the same for you, being brought up in the First Order, having to suppress your force sensitivity, hide from Phasma...from me.”

Finn snatched back his hand from Armitage’s shoulder with a panicked look and curled in on himself as Dameron shouted,

“WHAT?”

Armitage turned when Finn did, to see Dameron looking wide eyed for a long moment before his face closed off and he took a step back, eyes never leaving Finn’s.

“You’re force sensitive, like, a Jedi or something?”

Finn flinched under Dameron’s glare, looking lost and upset. 

“No, I mean, I don’t know?”

Dameron kept backing up, looking ready to bolt, face swinging between angry and hurt. His voice cracked as he spoke again. 

“So you’re keeping things from me now? I thought we talked about this, Finn!”

Finn held up his hands, his whole body angled towards Dameron, face pleading. 

“It’s not like that, Poe, please, let me explain.”

Dameron scoffed, a sneer on his lips as he spun and stalked out the door, breezing past the guards, leaving a despondent Finn in his wake. 

Finn turned to Armitage with a grimace and then to Organa. He rubbed a hand over his face, looking tired and drawn. 

“I should, uh…” 

He gestured to the door and Organa nodded, her face serious. 

“Go after him, Finn. We will speak later.”

He nodded back and fair flew from the room, running the same way Dameron had disappeared. The silence left behind seemed deafening to Armitage. 

“Well, that was...dramatic.”

Organa chuckled and waved one hand as she leaned forward to snag a biscuit. She spoke wryly before taking a bite. 

“Poe and Finn are still young. The smallest things are life ending and the large problems seem insignificant. And war, too, forces young love to live for the present. They will be back to gazing at each other with unending devotion in no time.”

Armitage nodded, feeling lost. He knew nothing of love, trust or relationships and he stayed silent, reluctant to reveal yet another weakness. He watched her finish the biscuit, declining when she offered him one. 

“But back to you, my newest friend. What happened to change your loyalty?”

Armitage took a deep breath before plowing forward, suddenly too tired to stall any longer and feeling safer to reveal his motivations now that he was alone with Organa. 

“When Starkiller Base destroyed the Hosnian System...I felt it. Acutely, strongly, painfully.” 

Organa went still, frowning. 

“You felt ‘it’ through the Force? What is ‘it’, exactly?” 

Armitage gave a hollow laugh, recalling that fateful day and the desolate horror that had engulfed him.

“I felt their fear, felt them scream and try to flee. I felt it when they died, when their souls were cast into the blackness of space, forever lost and alone.”

She looked intrigued. 

“If that is true and I believe what you say then Finn is right, you must be powerful in the Force. Would you be willing to drop your mental shields so that I may sense the extent of your talents?”

Armitage hesitated, feeling sick at the thought of someone poking around in his mind. He had seen Ren do so during interrogations, ripping and tearing apart the mind of prisoners of the First Order, horrified and impressed by his raw, feral technique. 

“How would that work, exactly, General? There are things in my mind, memories-”

She held up a hand, shaking her head. 

“That is not how my powers work, Hux. Think of it like pure empathy, I would enter your mind and read your emotions and most likely, your intentions. I cannot sense your thoughts nor your memories.” 

After a moment he nodded before carefully, slowly disassembling his mental shields. He felt it when she entered his mind, a gentle, probing presence that slowly grew bolder, filling his mindscape with the impression of a babbling brook, water tumbling softly over smooth stones. It was comforting and he embraced it, twining his own consciousness with hers, his burning fire surrounded by her calming waters. 

Armitage had never experienced another in his mind this way and he wondered briefly what Ren would feel like. Surely, where Organa was firm and soothing, Ren would be bold and deafening, a waterfall pounding jagged boulders or gale force winds in a hurricane, consuming and destroying all in his path. Or maybe, maybe Ren would be gentle for Armitage, would seep into his mind like a Loth cat laying in the sun, purring and warm, making his heart feel full. 

Ren’s face rose in his mind’s eye, dark eyes soft like they had been that night in his quarters, the spicy scent of sweat and something distinctly Ren surrounded Armitage as it had then. Ren’s deep voice gentle as he mocked him, lacking the usual vitriol that Amritage had come to expect, the almost overwhelming burn he had felt to have his hands on Ren, to soothe and excite the man all at once. 

He saw Organa jerk back in her seat, the presence of her mind in his disappearing in a sudden, almost visceral retreat. She gasped, hand to her heart, taking a moment to recover and Armitage stared in wide eyed alarm at her, hand reaching out to her before he dropped it, unsure of his welcome. She noticed and waved him off, taking a long sip of her tea, surely cold by now. He bit his lip and waited, giving her the time to collect herself, hesitant to ask what had caused her sudden distress. 

“You are more powerful than I had suspected, Armitage. Such strength needs guidance. Please, allow me to offer that to you, allow me to help you.”

Armitage could only stare at her, shocked by the offer, mouth gaping like an idiot. She sat back and rubbed at her temples, still obviously affected by her sojourn into his mind. What had she seen that left her so shaken, what had she felt?

“Tell me, dear, what is it that you want? What do you dream of achieving with the Force, how will you affect the galaxy?”

He shook his head, slowly gathering his thoughts. 

“I-I...balance. The Force wants me to help bring balance to the galaxy. I have no use for blind ambition, not anymore. Dark and Light must coexist and I would see it do so as peacefully as possible. I would not hesitate to dedicate my life to such a pursuit.” 

She smiled fondly at him then, eyes filled with a fierce approval. It made something foreign swell in Armitage’s chest, a warm glow that he couldn’t put a name to. 

***

That night, tucked away in his private, heavily guarded quarters, Armitage dreamed of his nonexistent family. 

They were outside, under the stars, in front of a low burning fire. The ground was uncomfortable and cold under him but he sat shoulder to shoulder with his husband, their daughter asleep on the other side of the fire, the flickering light haloing her lovely face, making her red hair look as if it had been set alight.

He smiled softly at the sight of her, hearing her faint snores over the night sounds of the jungle at their backs. The wind began to pick up, the smell of petrichor heavy in the air and his husband hummed, reaching an arm behind him to pull him closer. Armitage sighed and pressed against the man, looking up at him with a smile, his heart full, his soul at rest.

He couldn’t quite make out his husband’s features but he knew he was smiling back, could feel contentment through their bond. He reached out through the Force and was met with easy acceptance, their separate conscious minds melding together, dancing and swirling in a mass of warmth and happiness that made his throat tighten with a hundred unnamable emotions.His husband laughed, a low bass sound that vibrated his chest and lay back on the ground, tugging at Armitage until he followed. 

They lay there for hours under the stars, existing as one, at peace and in love. 

***

Armitage awoke the next morning with a wet pillow and red, puffy eyes. The dream danced along the edges of his mind, unknowable and vague. He pushed it away.

*** 

The next week passed in a blur. Armitage kept to his pristine quarters without much encouragement from Organa or Leia, as she insisted on being called: 

“You can always call me Master, Hux. It would appropriately reflect our future relationship.” 

Armitage had rolled his eyes at the tease. 

“If you start calling me ‘padawan’ I’m going to vomit all over your nice formal robes, Leia.”

She had laughed and Armitage had found himself smiling in response, feeling relaxed and optimistic for the first time in years.

His only point of contact had been Finn and Dameron or as he insisted; “call me Poe, ya dummy.”

General Leia had kept his presence on the Resistance base quiet, intending to send him off planet for training. He didn’t mind the isolation, spending his time seeing only friendly faces and trying his hand at more advanced meditation techniques. He was thinking of growing a beard, even if Poe had mercilessly made fun of him when he mentioned it. The food was complete shit but it was plentiful and he indulged in every dish made with chocolate that he could get his hands on.

The chance to slow down, the absence of the need to constantly stay vigilant, the introspection, all of it was a welcome relief to his exhausted mind and soul. He felt safe here. A state of being that had never been within his grasp, even as a child. 

The day of his departure, Armitage stepped from his quarters to see Finn waiting for him, rocking back and forth on his heels, looking excited and bright eyed. The day cycle had barely begun and with no caf in his system, Armitage could only sneer at Finn and mutter unintelligibly, turning towards the hangar bay, the bag of his scant belongings heavy on his shoulder. Finn fell in beside him, keeping pace. 

“What the kriff has you so enthusiastic this early?” 

Finn only gave him a grin, his gait closer to a skip. Armitage repressed another eye roll, clearing his throat and steeling his nerves before he spoke next. 

“You know, I never did thank you for speaking out for me in the beginning, when I first arrived here. It was...nice that you stood up for me like that.”

Finn faltered for a moment, falling a few steps behind Armitage before he visibly shook himself and caught up again. 

“I think everyone deserves a second chance, Armitage. I have a feeling you won’t waste yours. Leia says you have great things in your future.”

Armitage gave a heavy sigh, feeling old. 

“Even though your naiveté worked in my favor, I must state that your opinion on second chances is categorically untrue and your forgiving nature and overly optimistic outlook on life will one day get you painfully murdered.” 

Finn’s doe eyes widened. 

“Wow, Hux, I didn’t know you cared so much about me. Thanks. But don’t worry, I think you’re wrong.”

He did roll his eyes at that, speeding up as the open hangar bay door drew closer. He expected Finn to break off from him as they crossed the threshold in search of Poe but he didn’t, walking with Armitage all the way to his transport ship. He wasn’t going far for his mysterious Force training, staying in the same system, close enough for Leia to keep a presence on the base. 

He stopped at the end of the ramp, spinning on his heel to face Finn. 

“Well, I’d say I’m going to miss you but I promised myself that I would be more honest…”

Finn laughed, throwing his head back, teeth shining under the bright lights above them. He shook his head, still smiling widely and bent over, reaching down to pick up a large black bag. He threw the bag over his shoulder, tilting his head, his eyes holding a teasing light in their depths. 

“Oh, Master Leia didn’t tell you? I’m coming too. Can’t really miss me if I never leave, huh?”

Armitage must have looked completly struck dumb because Finn laughed in delight, winking before chucking him under the chin.

“Don’t worry, Armitage, we are going to be the best of friends. I can feel it, right here.”

He tapped his heart before striding up the ramp and onto the transport.


	5. Chapter 5

The transport landed roughly, making Armitage pitch forward from his seat and onto the cluttered floor. Finn stumbled back from where he had been casually slouching over the pilot chair, bickering good-naturedly with Poe. Armitage flailed, cursing under his breath, annoyed to see that Finn kept his feet, graceful and sure footed. 

“Best pilot in the galaxy, my arse.”

“I heard that!” 

Poe disengaged the pilot chair and swiveled around to throw Armitage an unapologetic, roguish grin. Armitage rolled his eyes and sniffed, levering himself up and brushing off the dust collected from his belted tunic during his inelegant sprawl. He eyed Poe with exaggerated disdain that the man brushed aside with his never ending bright cheer and stooped to pick up his bag. 

Poe swaggered up to him and clapped him on the back with too much enthusiasm, making him grunt and stumble forward. 

“You’ll never find a more competent, or handsome, pilot than me, Tage.” 

Armitage sneered while Finn failed to hide a smile behind his hand.

“No? You hate that one, too? Well, you almost punched me for Huggsy. How about...Mitty? Just Hugs?”

Armitage made a disgusted noise and pushed past the man, making sure his shoulder hit hard and sent a glare to Finn. 

“You are both impossible, I’m leaving.”

He pressed the door release harder than necessary and hid a flinch at the pain in his hand, unsuccessfully if the guffawing that followed him out of the transport was any judge. He left Finn and Poe to their no doubt embarrassing and intimate goodbyes and stepped planetside. 

Poe had landed them quite skillfully on a wide mesa and what looked to be the highest vantage point in the area. The wind whipped his black cloak wildly around Armitage as he walked away from the transport and closer to the mesa’s edge, eyes wide as he took in the horizon. A vast, lush jungle spread in front of him, smaller mountains here and there, the single sun dipping low. 

It was beautiful, breathtaking and Armitage felt a deep melancholy take hold in his breast. How many years had he wasted, his whole life lived surrounded by cold, stark durasteel, breathing in recycled, stale air aboard a starship, languishing, pale and sick, beneath synthetic sun lamps. 

He took a deep breath, relishing real planet made air and reached out his senses, feeling the Force of the animal inhabitants, the almost sentient awareness of ancient trees, the various plants, the symbiosis and predation of the natural world. Then, further, a pull to his mind, his soul, the Force whispering with an urgency that he couldn’t ignore. 

Armitage opened his eyes and turned his head to the east, scanning the horizon even though the presence he felt was hidden well beneath the enclosed jungle canopy. He could feel it, a familiarity that made him dizzy, a belonging that made him yearn-

“You can feel it.”

Armitage gave a hoarse yelp and spun to confront Leia, a dramatic hand to his wildly beating heart. Her lips quirked up and she folded her hands behind her back, eyes sparkling. Armitage took a calming breath and pursed his lips, crossing his arms over his chest, embarrassed. 

“I’m fairly sure we left you on D’Qar, General. Unless you were hidden away somewhere on the transport ship. The cargo hold, perhaps?”

She gave him a true smile at those words and closed the distance between them, standing abreast of him and gazing east, eyes intense and calculating. 

“It’s called Force Projection, Armitage. One so trained can cast their consciousness across the known galaxy.”

Without thought, Armitage reached forward to touch her, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder. She was firm under his hand but held no warmth, the textured feel of her robes missing, like touching air made solid. He shivered, momentarily overwhelmed at the reminder of just how powerful Leia Organa truly was and how well she hid that fact when she wanted to. 

He was awed, impressed and a bit jealous. As if sensing his emotions, entirely possible, her eyes slid from the horizon to meet his gaze. 

“One day I fully expect you to surpass me in raw power. I am beyond relieved that you came to me when you did, Armitage. Training you, teaching you to control your abilities is an honor and I am excited to help you reach your full potential.”

A bit shocked at Leia’s candid words, Armitage silently turned to the east again, pulling his cloak tight around him, feeling awkward and unworthy. Leia had so much blind faith in him...it made him feel warm, protected and scared out of his mind. He had done nothing to earn her loyalty and yet she gave it so freely, gazed at him with a disconcerting light in her eyes, as if she knew all of him, could see everything, even the things he couldn’t. 

There was something more at work here, big and bold and he was too ignorant to see it. He shook his head, trying to banish his insecurities. Perhaps with training, Armitage would see more clearly. There was nothing for him to do but return Leia’s trust and hope that it wasn’t misplaced. 

“There are ruins to the east, a neglected Jedi temple. You can feel it?”

He nodded, still looking blindly towards the beckoning presence. 

“It is what makes this planet so ideal for your training; it was used, long ago, to train padawans. The Jedi were chased from this place by the Empire, their temple abandoned and left to be reclaimed by nature.”

He felt her gaze fall on him again and he turned to her. Her face changed, becoming serious, uncompromising. 

“I can’t control your actions, Armitage, but I implore you to stay away from the temple until your training has advanced. I disabled all of the physical traps surrounding it but there are mental trials that you are unprepared for. They would tear you apart.”

He cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the heavy atmosphere. 

“I understand, Leia. But your words imply that one day I will enter the temple, see it’s secrets for myself.”

She huffed out a laugh, eyes crinkling at the edges. 

“Yes. I’d go as far as to say that it is your destiny to visit the temple one day.”

He scoffed. 

“Oh, come now. You can’t just present me with that kind of temptation!”

Her smile turned enigmatic. 

“I see patience will be one of your lessons, Armitage.” 

He felt Finn and Poe approaching behind them so he dropped their confusing conversation with an exasperated roll of his eyes. Finn stopped on his other side, clapping his shoulder with an excited grin. 

“Oh, man! This is so exciting. Like something out of a children’s tale, huh?”

He jostled Armitage's shoulder roughly, making him sway before taking off at a sprint down the mountain. Poe laughed, his gaze fond as he watched Finn go and he elbowed Armitage in the ribs. 

“Come on, Armie. Last one there is a bantha brain!” 

He rubbed his sore ribs, turning to look at Leia. 

“I’m not sure how much more of their abusive ‘affection’ I can take.”

The amused gleam in her eyes made him glare at her with suspicion. 

“What?”

She shook her head and started after Finn and Poe, following the thin, precarious path down the mountain. 

“Nothing...Armie.”

“No, no, absolutely not! Don’t encourage him. My name is Armi _tage_ , _Armitage_.”

***

They set up a base camp near the overgrown outdoor training grounds of the temple. After a steep learning curve, Armitage was able to make himself marginally helpful with setting up the large tent and constructing the fire pit. He endured the ribbing from Finn and Poe with quiet dignity until he could no longer and began returning their fond teasing with empty venom. Nothing too cutting, they were his allies...his friends? 

Later, after Leia was called away for Resistance business, the three of them sat around a modest fire, roasting some unfortunate looking ground animal that Finn had caught for them. He was ridiculously adept with using a hunting blaster and ducked his head, scuffing the toe of his boot in the dirt as Poe liberally praised him for it. Poe, shockingly, was a decent cook, skinning and skewering the ugly thing to set over the fire. 

Armitage busied himself with opening pre packaged vegetables and rolled his eyes as Poe regaled them with embellished stories of his previous Resistance missions. Even sitting across the fire from the two of them, he didn’t feel like an outsider. Poe glanced at him often, turning his body back and forth to include the both of them and Finn threw eye rolls and grins at him throughout. 

It was everything. This moment, this quiet night of ease and camaraderie, it was what he had dreamed of, hoped for in the deepest parts of his heart. He had never been able to understand the rabid tenacity with which they stood against the overwhelming might of the First Order. Why fight such a juggernaut when you were destined to lose?   
But this night, with these people, he was beginning to see. Their warmth, their compassion, their acceptance and hope… It made him feel safe, made him burn to protect this moment, these bright, beautiful people at all costs. The thought of Finn or Poe falling into the grasp of the First Order, it made Armitage feel desperate, violent, enraged.   
Sitting there in the middle of the jungle, on an unnamed planet claimed by the Resistance, Armitage was able to reflect on his past and contemplate the future. Had there ever been a Force user that had no destiny? That did not use their power to change the galaxy in some way? 

On the Finalizer, desperately grasping for an escape, Armitage had only wanted peace, to escape his genocidal duties and live a quiet life. He had been in denial then, depressed and lost, feeling adrift and out of control. But he had the means to take back that control now. What would he do with it? Was it really within his power to choose or would the Force choose for him? 

Leia spoke of Force training as if it possessed the ability to impart complete clarity. A deeper connection to the Force came with a better understanding of the complexities of the galaxy. Was he worthy of such a thing? 

***

The dream again. He was walking, beating back the dense jungle overgrowth with a sharp knife, cursing, sweating and longing for home. Why had he wandered so far? It was late evening and he was losing the light fast, the mud under his booted feet grasping and sucking, slowing his progress. To stay out at night, with no food and dwindling water was dangerous and his husband would be sick with worry. 

Their family was due for a visit in three days, too much time to be of use if he got himself caught out here overnight. The jungle liked to shift then, picking up their roots and settling elsewhere as they pleased. Closer to their homestead, the trees remained rooted and permanent, a personal favor to their daughter...what was her name? Her name, there, just out of reach. His little love, his dearest heart. So talented in the Force at such a young age. 

Suddenly, he was aware that he was dreaming, walking in the jungle and sleeping now, not far away. This planet, the one he shared with his husband and daughter was the same planet he was on now, ready to train with Leia in the ways of the Force. 

A crash to the left, a tree falling, a large beast moving in quick. He braced himself, knife held before him and breathed steady, in, out. He reached with his mind, moving swiftly over fleeing animals and grumbling trees to…

“Kriff! Fuck you, stupid tree. Armie! You bastard, you better not be dead. I’ll find a way to resurrect you and-”

A deep voice, a familiar voice, sounding like- Armitage shook his head, no longer sleeping, only awake and ready to greet his husband. In the gloam, a tall, broad figure entered his hard earned clearing and growled upon seeing him. 

“My love, you karking idiot! Are you hurt? I’m going to kill you.”

A warm embrace, his husband shedding relieved tears, kisses, love, love, love. 

***

The shift back to conscious awareness was jarring and Armitage gasped awake, going rigid, eyes flying wide open. There was soft early morning light filtering in through the walls of the tent and Finn’s slack face, his soft snores worked to calm his fast beating heart. Those dreams...they felt like more than dreams. And that man, his husband, his voice, his familiar figure...Fuck, it was gone. Why could he never hold on to those visions; a comfort in the night, a torment in the day. 

He sat up with a groan, head reeling from the quick movement. With a curse, he levered himself up and began rifling through their cooking bags. 

“Caf, caf, kriff, where is it?”

Finn groaned behind him and Armitage looked over his shoulder, watching him blink awake, squinting with high offense at the noise Armitage was making. 

“Shhhh. Second bag on the right at the bottom.”

Armitage sneered and didn’t bother being quiet as he dumped the bag on the floor of the tent, kicking the contents with his foot, looking for the distinctive caf can. Finn groaned louder and threw his pillow at Armitage, hitting him squarely between the shoulders.

“Armie!”

He felt hot rage engulf him, a roaring fire in his chest, reaching for something to consume, destroy. Armitage growled and spun, scooped up the pillow off the floor and marched menacingly towards Finn, throwing the pillow at his chest with all of his strength. Finn let out a loud ‘oof’, clutching the pillow to his chest and staring up at Armitage with wide, startled eyes. 

“Do not call me that. Do you understand? Show me some respect, soldier, I am-” _a General of the First Order_. 

Armitage sucked in a sharp breath and stumbled back, falling heavily onto the edge of his own bed. He was trembling, ashamed and guilty, his head falling into his shaking hands. He had tried so hard recently not to lash out, to keep all of his anger and insecurities locked up tight, pushed down and left to rot. 

Oh, how easy it was to fall back on familiar patterns, to bark orders and intimidate others. And Finn was the last person he should be doing this to; a man brainwashed and abused by the same horde that had venerated Armitage, given him respect and prestige even as the lower echelons suffered unspeakably. 

“I, Finn, I am so sorry...I-”

He shook his head, at a loss of how to accurately phrase how disgusted with himself he was. He looked up when Finn shifted, clearing his throat, moving the pillow behind him to scoot closer to Armitage. 

“I forgive you, Armitage. Seriously, I know how far you’ve come, how different you are. And, wow, you can still be terrifying.” 

He gave a stilted laugh, swallowing thickly. Armitage felt his face crumble and he moved to hide behind his hands before Finn could see the tears gather in his eyes. He took a deep breath, hating himself, wishing he could be more like Finn or Poe, men so effortlessly open and joyful, gentle and righteous. 

In that moment, he missed Ren fiercely, heart aching. Ren was a man like Armitage, conflicted and too powerful, bitter at the world. Even in their darkest moments, when the fighting and adversity wounded body and soul, he had always felt a kinship with Ren, a base understanding that always led them back to each other. But he didn’t miss the First Order, didn’t miss the oppressive atmosphere of the Finalizer. If only Ren-

“Can I tell you what I think?”

Finn’s voice was soft, cautious and Armitage winced as he sat up straight, forcing his gaze to meet Finn’s earnest eyes. 

“Yes, always.”

Finn smiled fondly at that before his face became determined, raising his chin.

“Let people care about you, Armitage. Don’t push us away. I know it’s hard. Trust me, I’ve struggled with it myself. You deserve to be loved, you are worthy of being loved.”

His heart dropped to his stomach and Armitage felt winded, as if Finn had landed a heavy blow against his chest. He scoffed, feeling unmoored. Finn shook his head. 

“No, look at me, Armitage. I’m serious. You see my face, I believe what I’m saying and I’ll keep saying it until you believe it too.”

Armitage swallowed thickly and could only nod even though he knew it wasn’t true. He didn’t deserve love but he was also a selfish man; he would hoard any tenderness and care, keep it clutched close to him and never let it go. 

***

The training grounds were in complete disarray, overgrown and worn but Leia instructed Armitage and Finn through getting them into working order. In the middle was a round, clearly marked dueling stage, ringed by a vast obstacle course. Standing in the middle, spinning around to follow the various hurdles, the jungle air thick with a wet heat, the sweat on Armitage’s brow doubled just imagining the pain in his future.

He wasn’t an out of shape man but the cool air and controlled weights of the Finalizer gym had not prepared him for this. Why were the Jedi forced to be in peak physical condition when he could just mentally throw his opponent away, maybe over a cliff or through a conveniently weak transparisteel wall? 

To his annoyance, the first solar month of training was meditation and running the course. His days were filled with fidgeting stillness and exhausting physical strain under Leia’s amused and patient guidance. Of course, Finn was in his athletic prime, running circles around Armitage and grinning obnoxiously while he did it. To Armitage’s not so secret glee, Finn had as much trouble as Armitage centering himself for the hours of meditation Leia subjected them to. 

***  
Armitage and Finn’s customary meditation spot was dead center in the dueling ring, sitting face to face, legs crossed, arms at rest on their thighs. It helped Armitage concentrate if he closed his eyes and after a moment of awkward silence, he did so, valiantly ignoring Finn’s low, frustrated sigh. Neither one of them had achieved what Leia explained should be happening; a deeper connection and understanding of the Force. 

She had instructed them to breathe deeply and clear their minds, reach forward with their powers and let the Force guide them. Armitage was managing better than Finn and he had only been marginally superior about it, smug in his ability to best Finn mentally if never once physically. Still, it seemed an impossible task to reach the heights expected of them by Leia. 

After a moment, Finn gave another pathetic sigh. 

“Shut. Up. Finn.”

“You shut up.” 

Armitage opened his eyes and leaned forward, scowling. 

“No, you. You’re distracting me. I almost had it.”

Finn scoffed.

“Uh huh.”

Armitage growled and struck out with his foot, breaking his meditation posture to kick at Finn’s legs. Finn gave an offended yelp and kicked back, landing a jarring blow to Armitage’s foot, knocking it sideways and upsetting his balance. He fell over, barely saving his face from the ground with a well timed elbow. 

“Kriff! Watch it!”

The guilty flash on Finn’s face disappeared as Armitage threw himself bodily at him, pushing him back to wrestle him prone. Finn’s shock gave Armitage the upper hand and he crowed in triumph, pinning Finn down with a pleased grin. An all too brief moment later, Finn’s face morphed into a devious expression and Armitage protested breathlessly as Finn reversed their fortunes and he found himself in a headlock. 

“No, wait! I already won!”

Finn laughed and ran a rough hand through Armitage’s hair, messing it beyond repair despite Armitage’s loud and harsh insults. They didn’t notice Leia’s presence until she spoke, making them break apart with unintelligible shouts, panting wide eyed at her. 

“Children, the both of you. I leave you alone for one moment and come back to this…”

Despite her chastising tone, a smile danced around her mouth, her eyes sparkling with amused warmth. Finn, like a child, crossed his arms with a pout. 

“He started it.”

Armitage huffed out a laugh, crossing his own arms, leaning into their immature rivalry, enjoying the playful moment. When was the last time he had felt so free? Even as a child his father had expected nothing but perfection; stiff, starched clothing, a regimented schedule and a deathly silent home. There had been no room, no freedom there for a real child, only the lonely ghost of one. But here, with Leia and Finn, he felt...wholly himself. Not his father’s son, not General Hux. Just Armitage. 

“And _he_ is a liar!” 

She hummed, smile growing and waved her hand. The air shimmered around her and out of nothing, two objects were produced. Armitage paused, staring at them in wonder, excitement growing in his chest. They looked like... 

Leia grabbed them and held them out, one sitting in each of her open palms. They both scrambled to their feet, approaching to gaze at the items. The one in her right hand called to Armitage; an intricate wrap of stripped white leather forming an obvious hilt, it’s presence humming in the back of his mind, a gentle call of power. 

“Maybe this disagreement should be worked out in true Jedi fashion instead of rolling around on the ground. Like, say, with a lightsaber duel?”

Finn gasped and rushed forward, hovering with uncertainty near the saber hilts, frowning down at them. Suddenly nervous, Armitage kept his distance, content to watch. Finn reached out to the silver hilt in Leia’s left hand, hesitating before he made contact, glancing up at her.

“Which, uh, which one is mine?”

She hummed and tilted her head as if in thought. 

“Well, how does a Jedi do anything?”

Finn’s shoulders slumped but he stood upright, answering with confidence. 

“We use the Force.” 

She raised her eyebrows and smirked, jiggling the sabers in her hand. Finn’s face became a study of concentration and Armitage followed him, eyes gazing at the white leather hilt, completely ignoring the other saber, mind reaching forward to investigate. The call was like a cool glass of water, sliding into his mindscape, bringing an instant chill and untold relief. He could feel it, knew with a certainty that was indescribable; this saber was his, had always been his, had been made for him, would sit at his hip and in his hand for the rest of his life.

He smiled and stepped forward, reaching for it at the same time that Finn reached for the silver one. Their hands made contact at the same time and they gasped in unison. To Armitage, it felt a little like coming home, like he had been waiting all of his life to touch this lightsaber, feel its power, hear it hum happily in his mind. He caught Finn’s eyes and returned his wide smile. As one they moved back to the center of the ring, moving to face each other, dropping into their fighting stances. 

Leia had been teaching them to duel with wooden sabers, a tedious exercise, ending only in frustration and bruises. But now, his finger on the activator button of his lightsaber, Armitage was thankful for those earlier lessons. He knew how to stand, how to hold his weapon and was able to concentrate fully on the reverberation of power that flowed from his lightsaber, up his arm and straight in his brain. 

Together, they activated the sabers, a loud, comforting hum followed by two different but equally bright colors casting a glow on their clothes, their grinning faces. Armitage barely registered Finn’s color, a beautiful blue, before his gaze was caught by the glowing purple of his own lightsaber. He moved through a few practice motions, the saber humming low, the bass of the sound making his heart feel light. The grip of the hilt was perfect, forming to his palm as if he had been born with his in his hand. 

He couldn’t help but compare it to the monstrosity that Ren carried around. It was half the size easily, quick and light as a feather, easy to maneuver in tight spaces. He imagined facing Ren and not Finn in this ring but banished the thought quickly, his heart squeezing with grief. If he were ever to face Ren, lightsaber to lightsaber, it would be a duel to the death, not in friendly competition. 

“Enough gawking, gentlemen. Show me what you’ve got.”

The first clash of their sabers was jarring, making Armitage gasp and disengage but the exhilaration that buoyed within him brought him to attack again, feeling in control, mind at peace as they circled each other. This...Armitage was made for this, was good at it, even. In that moment, lightsaber in hand, an opponent before him, he felt it; a purpose, a skill, a destiny.


	6. Chapter 6

A pained bellow woke him, pulling Armitage from the darkness of sleep and into instant, heightened awareness. Finn’s bed was empty and Armitage rose quickly from his own, rushing to the entrance of their tent, tripping over their discarded belongings in the dark. The sounds of an obvious struggle came from across the clearing and Armitage squinted, the embers of the fire doing nothing to aid his vision. 

“Armitage! There’s something-”

“I’m coming, Finn!”

He reached behind him, palm wide, pulling for his lightsaber, eyes never leaving the faint silhouettes he could make out. One had to be Finn but the other was less humanoid, taller and broader. The saber hit his palm, the impact sending a dull ache up his arm but Armitage paid it no mind, already running. 

Other than the sounds of struggle, the clearing was eerily quiet, the susurration of jungle night sounds absent and that more than anything sent a chill down his spine. The closer he ran, the clearer he could see the beast attacking Finn, the rising sun on the other side of the pair starting to cast a pink glow in the sky. It was impossibly large, twice the breadth and height of Finn, bipedal and hairy. Armitage sent out his senses, parsing through the myriad of information that the Force returned to his mind. 

Finn was tiring, taking deep, harsh panting breaths, his movement slow as he dodged and rolled away from forceful kicks and gnashing teeth. The smell of blood was in the air, the beast’s own from what Armitage could tell. It’s arms hung limp and useless, large criss-crossing cauterized wounds the obvious cause. 

“Hurry up, man. I can’t keep this up! It knocked my lightsaber away- shit!”

“Hold on!”

Armitage’s bare foot caught on something and he stumbled, falling to one knee with a curse. He activated his lightsaber, throwing purple light over his body and the ground around him, revealing the silver hilt of Finn’s own saber. Finn cried out, falling to his knees and with no time to think, Armitage picked up Finn’s lightsaber in his left hand, activating it as well.

He ran between them, catching the bottom of the beast’s foot with a deep slash as it brought it’s leg down to crush Finn. It bellowed, spraying saliva over them both and Armitage immediately moved on the offensive, trying to drive the beast back, away from Finn. He slashed with the dual lightsabers, alternating wide arcs but they glanced off the beast’s thick hide, singeing thick hair and leaving no wounds. 

Disoriented, the beast stumbled back, limping on the wounded foot, growling low and deep, the sound vibrating through Armitage’s chest. Finn’s voice was panicked behind him. 

“That’s not going to work!”

“Thank you, I can see that!”

Armitage growled and slashed up and out with the sabers and in that brief moment that he was unprotected, the beast struck with a foot to Armitage’s chest, sending him flying backwards. He heard a crack and rolled as he landed, gasping for breath, his vision black around the edges. He kept a desperate grip on the lightsabers, struggling to his knees.  
Finn was swaying on his feet, his expression grim as the beast came for him. He was exhausted, defenseless.

“Finn! Run towards me!”

Finn turned, stumbling towards Armitage, who began to run to meet him. He activated both lightsabers and spun them to regrip, the lasers pointed down. He could feel the heat of them as he ran, brushing near his bare chest with each ground-eating step. He sent a vision to Finn, too breathless to shout, no time for finesse and Finn flinched before his expression turned determined. They ran straight for each other, the beast pursuing Finn, howling in pain and frustration. 

Closer now, Finn crouched, hands cupped, bracing himself and Armitage leapt. They worked in perfect tandem, Armitage’s foot found Finn’s hands and Finn heaved him up, sending Armitage high into the air. 

Confused, the beast slowed, head craning to keep Armitage in it’s sights, giving him the perfect opening. He cried out, bringing the lightsabers high and then stabbing down, right into the beast’s protruding eyes. They easily pierced the soft flesh, going through and out, the beast dead before it’s back hit the ground. 

Armitage rolled off the beast and into a crouch nearby, one knee on the ground as he deactivated the lightsabers and hunched over, panting, his ribs on fire. Finn stumbled over to him, collapsing onto his own knees, both hands on Armitage’s shoulders, grinning widely. Armitage, still in shock, dropped the lightsabers and returned the action, his hands gripping tight to Finn’s shirt. Finn let out a breathless laugh. 

“That was- I can’t believe-! um, wait…where the kriff are your clothes?”

Finn’s eyes ran over Armitage’s body and Armitage hurriedly lowered his arms to cover his lap, feeling the full body flush that spread over his cheeks and down his chest.

“No comment."

Finn rocked back on his heels, looking pole-axed. 

" _Please_ don't tell me you've been sleeping naked this whole time, Armitage! What am I going to tell Poe? I've seen every kriffing inch of you, man!" 

Armitage scoffed and rolled his eyes, rising to his feet and turning back towards the camp.

"Don't be so dramatic."

Finn followed close behind, his voice high.

"I'm serious, Armie. Some of those moves you pulled... _every inch_ of you!"

***

Later, after a hearty breakfast, they sat watching the sun rise above the treeline. Finn looked uncharacteristically broody, staring at the horizon, throwing twigs into the fire. They both pointedly avoided looking at the dead creature across the clearing. 

“There were more of them, past the jungle’s edge. A lot more. Looked like they had young ones, too.”

Armitage hummed as he scrubbed out his bowl with the spare lake water. He glanced at Finn to see him purse his lips, looking frustrated. 

“Which means we can’t stay here. They’ll come back.”

“I agree.”

He finished drying and stacking their morning dishes, throwing the caf grounds into the fire. The bitter, comforting scent filled the air around them and Finn sighed before turning to look at him. 

“So? What do you suggest, General?”

Armitage rolled his eyes and stood, hands on his hips, his trousers slung low and bare chested. He prodded at his ribs, the skin now swollen and badly bruised. Finn eyed him warily. 

“You allergic to clothes or something?” 

Armitage laughed and shook his head. 

“After a lifetime of being forced into overly starched collars and testicle strangling jodhpurs, the freedom of loose clothing and the privacy afforded to us by living on an isolated planet is intoxicating.” 

Finn looked reluctantly amused, propping his chin in his palm, elbow on his raised knee. 

“Yeah but _I’m_ here, too. And _I_ don’t want to see...all _that_.”

He waved his other hand at Armitage’s groin, biting his lip. Armitage huffed and then winced under the prodding of his fingers. 

“Need a medpac for those broken ribs?” 

Armitage didn’t answer, his mind focused on his ribs. He could sense that the beast had fractured two ribs and they were dangerously positioned near his lungs. His breathing was labored but he had ignored the pain in favor of eating, needing the energy to heal. He placed his hand over the worst of the bruising and closed his eyes, breathing slow and shallow. 

It was simple, easy to heal his injuries, bending and weaving the glowing lines of the Force and pushing it into his battered body. He could see in his mind, behind his closed eyelids, the mending of his bones, the inflammation of his muscle and skin being reduced, the heat under his palms retreating. After an extended moment, the pain disappeared and his hitching breaths evened out. He opened his eyes, looking down and rubbed his palm gently over the pale skin, no longer mottled with black bruises. 

He couldn’t help but recall the last time he had healed using the Force. Ren’s pale, bloody face flashed in his mind and Armitage swallowed thickly, his heart beating loudly in his chest. What was Ren doing, right now? Was he well? Had he gotten himself hurt again? Had Snoke punished him horribly for the destruction of Starkiller, now that Armitage was out of reach? 

And following that, what did the First Order know about his defection? He had done everything within his power to have his Holonet activity untraceable. To the First Order, it would seem that General Hux had just disappeared on Jakku. Did Ren even know? Did he care?

The touch of another hand on him startled Armitage and he blinked, wide eyed at Finn as he ran gentle fingers over Armitage's ribs. The soft touch, so foreign, sent a bolt of yearning through him, made his skin crawl with disgust, made his heart swell with joy. Touch starved. 

He fought the urge to push into Finn’s hand and swallowed a whine when he pulled back, his face alight with admiration. 

“That was amazing! Did you know you could do that, heal like that?”

Suddenly, a shirt sounded like a blessing and Armitage crossed his arms awkwardly. He felt too exposed and it had nothing to do with his missing clothing. 

“I’ve always been able to use Force healing,” he scoffed bitterly, “It turned more than one person against me as a child. I learned to hide it.”

Finn grinned, clapping his hand on Armitage’s shoulder. 

“Well I think it’s an incredible skill! I wish I had something like that.”

Armitage straightened his shoulders and met Finn’s gaze head on. 

“I have a feeling you will. In fact, I’m sure we will be honing new, incredible skills for the rest of our lives.”

Finn looked sufficiently reassured and Armitage turned from him to begin breaking camp. 

“Now help me move all of our things.”

“To where?”

“The abandoned Jedi Temple, obviously.”

“Yeah, obviously.”

Armitage caught Finn eyeing the highest spire of the temple, just piercing the jungle canopy in the distance. He looked nervous but Armitage just smiled, turning back to disassembling the tent. The whole time on this planet, the temple had called to Armitage, a siren song that was almost impossible to ignore. Perhaps he wasn’t as far along in his training as Leia would prefer but in his heart, Armitage knew it was time to face whatever awaited him within those crumbling walls.

*** 

“Are you sure we should be doing this?”

Armitage didn’t begrudge Finn his skepticism as they passed the fourth nasty looking trap just inside the temple walls. Disengaged scything blades showing rust, overgrown turrets and consoles, primitive wooden spikes on springs covered with dried blood. They had all been disabled long ago by Leia and Armitage hoped she hadn’t missed one.  
Burdened as they were with the camp cargo, it would be impossible to avoid injury. It would be difficult enough to avoid slipping and turning an ankle on the detritus caused by crumbling walls as they picked their way cautiously deeper. 

“We will be fine, Finn. The temple isn’t malicious, it wants us here.”

“Uh, what?”

Armitage turned back to frown at him. 

“Can you not feel it? This place has been desperately trying to draw me here since we landed. I had assumed it was the same for you…”

“No. I mean, if I reach out my mind, I can sense this place has a vast history, an underlying power but it’s not calling to me. It’s just you, man.” 

Armitage turned back to their path, eyes intently surveying the towering derelict walls around them for any danger. His senses told him it was empty but the roof had caved in almost every room they traversed. It threw sunlight ahead, lighting their path but a threat could drop in on them from the towering, overgrown jungle canopy at any second. It was better to stay alert. 

“I’m not sure if I should be reassured or not. Leia mentioned this place had to do with my _destiny_.”

He couldn’t help but inject the word with a little venom. Even with all he had come to understand with his training, the thought of having no real say over his place in the galaxy was galling. Armitage had always been a man who took pride in his impeccable control, in his practiced skills and hard earned place within a deadly institution. To follow the whims of an ephemeral, unknowable ‘Force’ made him uncomfortable, as if everything he was before, all that he had done before this moment had been a waste, a mistake.  
Armitage shook his head. It was true that he had his doubts about his current path but he was dedicated to it. After all, he would have at least some agency. Every action of every person couldn’t be foretold, written in stone by an all seeing ‘eye’. That would be ridiculous. 

Finn came abreast of him, shoving his shoulder gently into Armitage’s. The tension in his body leached out of him and he returned Finn’s smirk. These casual touches of camaraderie were spoiling him. Or maybe such a thing was normal to most people. 

“Yeah but you have a destiny, Armie. How amazing is that? Your life is like a story book, ya know?”

Armitage huffed out a laugh. 

“So is yours.”

Finn tipped his head, seemingly lost in thought. After a moment he nodded very seriously, brow furrowed. 

“Huh, you’re right. A Stormtrooper turned Resistance fighter turned Jedi. Oh! And a love story on top of that. Wow, I’m pretty amazing, too.”

Armitage hummed, hitching up the pack on his back with a groan, the straps digging into his shoulders making him wince. 

“Hey, let me take some of that.”

Armitage batted his hand away with a growl. 

“Leave off! You’re already carrying more than me. My pride can’t take another hit.”

Finn pouted at him. 

“Aw, come on. I can’t help that I’m so strong and muscley…”

He flexed his arm and waggled his eyebrows with a grin. Armitage kicked sideways, landing a soft blow to the back of Finn’s knee and he gave an ‘oof’ as he stumbled. He ignored Finn’s outraged cries as he walked faster. 

The hallway they had been traversing ended in a large circular room. The air was different here, almost anticipatory and they both fell silent, walking through the tall arch. There were three other archways around the room, leading to similar hallways, ostensibly leading to other parts of the temple. Armitage craned his neck up, taking in the completely missing roof and the trees above. 

There was wildlife up there, looking down at them from the moss covered branches; brightly colored birds and small, unfamiliar mammals that chattered to each other. The walls of the room were made from a tan colored stone that once had been smooth but now bore the marks of age and neglect, pockmarked and decayed. There were large green tree roots invading the room from the top, thick creeping vines, the size of a man, clawing and climbing down, almost reaching the floor. 

Armitage spun to take it all in, awed and a little intimidated. It was beautiful, yes, but sad as all abandoned man made structures were. Such a place had not been left willingly, the Jedi had fled from this temple, hunted by the Empire into extinction. A look into the future, perhaps? What were a handful of Jedi supposed to do against the might of the First Order when any and all allies of the Resistance had been cruelly terrorized into submission? 

Armitage pursed his lips and glanced at Finn, watching him peek into the other archways, body language cautious. Did Finn have these same doubts? Did Leia? Or was the Resistance confident in their victory against tyranny, assured in their tenacity and righteousness. He knew, intimately, that the whole of the First Order had no fear of defeat and would find it laughable to think that a bunch of ‘dirty rebels’ could ever best the might of the galaxy’s greatest armada. 

Armitage could feel a headache coming on as he went to the center of the room and dumped his physical burden onto the dusty floor. He only wished his mental burden was so easily dealt with. He had thought his jedi training would cure him of these thoughts, solidify his faith in the Force and in himself. Nothing much had changed, though. Leia promised that clarity would come to him, that he couldn’t force it. All he could do was meditate and learn his mind, learn his abilities. 

Did Ren have doubts about his own destiny? There were moments that Armitage could recall with startling precision when Ren had seemed hesitant in the tasks entrusted to him by Snoke. For all of Ren’s arrogance, he still seemed to Armitage nothing more than a lost child, striving desperately for respect and a place to belong. Why else would he endure the torture set upon him by his sadistic Master? Perhaps Ren was as lost as Armitage had been, trapped in uncertainty, no way out visible. 

The only other explanation was that Ren truly enjoyed the murder, mayhem and oppression that the First Order visited upon the innocent and guilty alike. The thought of Ren one day being his enemy made Armitage ill. It felt wrong, impossible but highly likely, now that Armitage had chosen another path, had taken an axe and destroyed his nice, neat organized life. The divide between them felt so vast, insurmountable. 

And why the kriff couldn’t Armitage shake his ridiculous attachment to Kylo Ren? What was wrong with him? 

“This feels like the center of the temple. It would be a good place to make camp. The four hallways act to funnel sound to this room. We will have ample warning if something is coming.”

Finn walked over, nodding. 

“Sounds good. Let’s get this over with. I’m hungry.”

“Yes, three hours is much too long between meals.”

***

“This place is creepy at night. Are you creeped? I’m creeped.”

Armitage looked up from spreading out his bedroll, watching as Finn shivered in the cool night air. The fire between them cast ominous shadows against the walls around them. The canopy above them was too thick to let in any moonlight and Armitage had to admit that the temple at night was a bit unnerving. Any small sound was brought to their ears, as far out as the entrance, thanks to the unique construction of the temple. Finn had found it difficult to concentrate on their daily routine; meditate, spar, meditate, run drills, meditate…

Usually, Leia showed up soon after lunch, materializing with a new task for them, something strenuous but challenging, spouting vague idioms and secret smiles. Had every Jedi Master been so frustrating to deal with? But there had been no sign of her today. It had only added to their unease. 

Finn turned quiet, contemplative, staring into the fire, something he usually did when he was deep in thought. It seemed to comfort him. 

“Do you think something happened out there? Something to prevent her coming?”

Armitage sighed and sat on his bedroll, brushing the dust from the floor off his knees. He leaned forward, chin on his folded arms, arms on his raised knees, watching the flames dance around Finn’s unsettled face. 

“She would have contacted us, Finn. She can cast her mind to us in an instant.”

Finn didn’t look convinced but he nodded, giving Armitage a strained smile. 

“Yeah, I know. It’s just...Poe’s on some kind of mission. I don’t even know where he is, a ‘need to know’ thing.”

He picked up a twig next to his hip and threw it in the fire. It always amused Armitage to see Finn move absently as he gathered his thoughts, fiddling with any little thing around him. Armitage had learned long ago to stay still, perfectly controlled in any situation; show no weakness, even to perceived allies. 

“Sometimes...sometimes I hate being here. I should be back on D’Qar, fighting, helping Leia, helping Poe, or Rey. Just, _doing_ something. I don’t even know where Rey went and Leia isn’t saying. Some grand important mission and she hasn’t even had any Jedi training! What if I’m here, waving my lightsaber around, loving every minute of it and Poe-”

There was a sheen of tears in Finn’s eyes and Armitage rose to go to him, sitting carefully beside him, throwing his blanket over the both of them and pressing their shoulders together. He had no idea how to comfort someone. 

At times like this, Armitage felt more like a droid than a man; cold and confused by human sentiment, human customs. Finn bit his lip, choking on a sob and Armitage sighed, at a loss, letting his head fall sideways onto Finn’s trembling shoulder. He stared into the fire for a moment, knees drawn to his chest, letting Finn fall apart a little.

“I envy you, Finn. More than you could ever know.”

Finn sniffled and threw his arm over Armitage's shoulder, pulling him a little bit closer. Armitage glanced at him, taking in his bloodshot eyes and confused frown. He smiled, feeling exhausted. 

“You have a family, you know; Poe, Rey, Leia. I’m sure there are more Resistance people that love you. Those people are your home, you _belong_ here.”

Finn nodded, still looking a little lost. Armitage lifted his head, turning back to the fire, pulling his edge of the blanket tighter, as if it would protect him from his own demons. 

“With the First Order, I had no one, at least, no one I could truly trust. Even before then, my own family hated me, feared me for my abilities. Everyone at the Academy hated me for my ambition. I had Phasma when our goals aligned but I knew it was a tenuous alliance, at best. And Ren-”

He bit his lip, throat tightening. He had never spoken of Ren with anyone, let alone hinted at his complex feelings for the man. 

Finn’s arm around him tightened and he held his breath a moment before blowing it out loudly. 

“Kylo Ren? Were the two of you…?”

Armitage laughed bitterly, shaking his head. 

“No, nothing so intimate. We were reluctant allies at best, vicious enemies in our worst moments. Although, with reflection, most of our worst encounters were directly facilitated by Snoke. He kept us fighting each other like rabid dogs. I’m sure he found it highly amusing, pushing around his little toys. At the time, I assumed he was pitting us against each other to see who was strongest. I was determined to prove it was me and only me that should be leading the First Order. Not some upstart apprentice.”

He turned to take in Finn’s reaction. Armitage had been reluctant in their time here to discuss his past and the First Order, afraid of Finn’s reaction. His days as General felt so far away, like another life completely. He felt so unworthy of Finn’s friendship, scared that a reminder to the man of what Armitage had been would drive Finn away. But Finn only gave him a gentle smile, so full of understanding and compassion. 

“Your relationship sounds...complicated.”

“It is-was. Not so much now. I’m sure Ren would kill me on sight for betraying the First Order. Our clashing always felt inevitable, as if we were only briefly orbiting each other, destined to be sent careening together. Inescapable.” 

Finn tilted his head, something flashing in his eyes, an emotion that Armitage couldn’t read in the dark.

“Destined to be together?”

Armitage straightened up at that, an alarm sounding in his head. He had said, revealed too much. He stood, taking his blanket with him and wrapping it around him as he turned to pace away. 

“Listen to me. I sound like an idiot. There is no destiny when it comes to me and Kylo Ren. Are you still ‘creeped’? I noticed that the wall holds intermittent braziers. How about I light them, hmm? Chase away the shadows.”

After an awkward moment, Finn sighed and shrugged, blessedly allowing the abrupt change in topic. Armitage took a deep breath, beyond relieved, pacing back to the fire to pick up a lit branch, holding it aloft as he went to the closest wall mounted brazier. It lit up with a blinding flash of blue light before settling into an orange glow. Armitage blinked away the white spots in his vision and moved to the next, reluctantly impressed. 

It was as the fourth blue light receded that Armitage saw something on the wall, behind the vines and tree roots, that made him pause, his stomach clenching with sudden anxiety. The feeling of anticipation that had lingered since their entrance seemed to rise. There was something there, under the shrouding flora; bright colors, segmented lines. Armitage stepped back, his eyes greedily taking in what he could see through the roots. 

It looked like a mural, a vast painting of people and actions; the white Stormtrooper armor startling familiar as well as a tell tale officer’s uniform, clearly showing the emblem of the First Order. It set Armitage’s heart to beating double time, his breathing shallow and rapid. 

He stepped forward and with trembling hands began to strip the mural of its veil, pulling the roots and vines away from the wall with increasing desperation, his panting breaths loud in his ears. He felt Finn come up behind him but didn’t pause, even when Finn spoke and touched his shoulder. 

“Armie? What’s wrong? Hey.”

Armitage shrugged him off, clawing and pulling still. 

“Help me, Finn. Hurry.”

Finn didn’t question him, only stepped next to him and began ripping down what he could, shoving the larger roots to the side. It seemed like forever before the whole mural was revealed and they both took a few steps back, craning their necks to take it all in. Armitage heard Finn curse as if from far away, all of him, all that he was, so focused on the painting before him, blind and deaf to all the rest.

To one side, it _was_ the First Order, a clearly depicted battalion on the march, the shadowy figure of Snoke behind them, large and insidious. They were led by Pryde, a sinister grin on his face as he waved the First Order banner flag above his head, eyes trained on the enemy. 

On the other side, stood what looked like the same army but with a different, unfamiliar flag, held aloft by Dopheld Mitaka, clad in his lieutenant's uniform, his features determined and proud. Phasma stood behind him, her durasteel armor gleaming, leading an army of Stromtroopers, her quicksilver baton at the ready. 

Above all of this, as if floating in the air above the battle, were Armitage and Ren. They stood facing each other, Ren on Snoke’s side, Armitage obviously a part of the rebel First Order. Their clothing reflected a stark duality. 

Half of Armitage's body was clad in his general’s uniform, the other half more alike to what he wore now, a belted tunic and a cloak, high black boots on both feet.  
Ren was dressed similarly, one half his body covered in the dark Lord’s apparel, half of his face obscured by that damn helmet. The other half of his body was covered in an exact match to Armitage's belted tunic and boots, a Jedi’s cloak thrown over his shoulder. 

Armitage's expression was hopeful, Ren’s own conflicted with a yearning to his features that Armitage had never witnessed. Between them, they clasped each other’s hands tightly, fingers entwined together, palms flat. One side bare, the other gloved. 

He sensed Leia before she touched him, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder, as if afraid he would crumble to dust and blow away. He felt unmoored enough to break apart in such a way, shocked and incredulous, his heart aching at the sight of the two of them, so close but the outcome obviously uncertain. Was the image of him asking Ren to join them? To turn against his Master and come closer to the Light, closer to Armitage?

His voice was hoarse when he spoke, cracking and thin, foreign to his ears. 

“What _is_ this?”

“Among the Jedi of this temple there were Seers. They were tasked with receiving and interpreting Force visions. They recorded the most important in this way, as murals and paintings. They knew the physical records of this place would be lost and that the visions recorded thus would remain.”

She rounded his body and approached the mural, reaching up her hand. 

“So this is real? This is me and-”

Her hand found the painted figure of Ren and she ran her fingertips gently across his forehead, the bridge of his nose and the slope of his exposed cheek. It made the words die in Armitage’s mouth to witness her tender caress. She turned her head back to him, her eyes shining with love and pain. 

“You...and my son, Ben Solo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screaming*


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long break between updates. I found myself unable to juggle three WIPs but good news!  
> I'm going to start updating this fic regularly. 
> 
> It's been a while so let me know of any glaring inconsistencies. 
> 
> Much love <3

"Kylo Ren is Ben Solo? Wait. Kylo Ren is your son?"

Armitage felt light headed suddenly, staring at the flickering shadows on Leia’s face, taking in her pinched expression. There were no signs of amusement in her features and the sparkle in her eyes when she teased him was missing, leaving Armitage feeling cold. 

She turned from him again, her eyes taking in the dark figure of Ren in the mural. She ignored the rest of the painting, seeming unsurprised at it. How long had Leia known of this mural? How many people within the Resistance knew of a Jedi Seer prophecy involving what looked very much like the rise of a civil war within the First Order? 

A war led in part by Armitage. Was this his destiny? A path chosen by the all knowing, all seeing, mysterious Force? 

Armitage's hands were shaking as he turned his back on the mural, running his fingers through his hair. A self soothing act that his father and the Academy had beaten out of him years ago. There were other things that he had allowed himself away from the First Order’s regimented, insidious obedience. Other comforts that would have been seen as weak. Small, insignificant things that would have been the impetus to his downfall, his death. 

For the first time in his life, Armitage felt _safe_. His every word and action didn’t hold the crushing weight here like it had on the Finalizer. He felt more himself than he ever had before. He was just beginning to discover things about himself; his wants, his hopes, his fucking smile.

Kriff, Armitage couldn’t remember smiling, really truly smiling, in happiness and joy...ever. There was no room for uncomplicated joy in the First Order. He looked to the side, watching Finn stare at the mural with slack jawed awe. There was no room for true friends in the First Order. 

And Leia wanted him to go back? Because there was no karking way to sew the seeds of civil war from across the galaxy. He would need to do so from the inside.   
She believed a bunch of glorified monks had revealed the course of the rest of his life? People who he had never met and he had no idea as to their true motives. Why couldn’t he stay here, with the Resistance? He could fight against the First Order just as well next to Leia and her soldiers. He could work for balance in the galaxy far away from Snoke and Pryde and... _Ren_. 

“I came here after Ben left us…”

Leia’s voice was faint, distant and full of pain. Armitage turned back to her, watching her gaze at the rendering of Ren, her face full of too many emotions to parse. Guilt, love, hurt.

“I was part of the scouting party for this galaxy, an unnecessary mission for someone so distinguished. I suppose I was running away. Or perhaps chasing after Ben, hoping for a chance to see him again.”

Leia turned to Armitage, her eyes piercing, shoulders back and proud. The single sun was high now and filtered light streamed down through the thick canopy above. It shone on the mural behind her, casting a halo around her head. The effect was mesmerizing and Armitage’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of it. 

“I was in mourning, lost. As soon as I set foot on this planet, the temple called to me, it’s pull undeniable. I’ve felt such a thing in the Force many times in my long life. I didn’t hesitate to follow it.”

Leia gave him a half smile, making the hairs on Armitage’s arms and the back of his neck raise. She and Ren shared the same smile. Kriff, how had he not seen it before? He could see echoes of Ren in Leia. Their bearing, their pride, their humor.

“This mural, this vision of the future gave me hope. Hope that my son was not lost to the Dark, not lost to me.”

Armitage’s fists clenched and he grit his teeth, jealous and awed at the obvious love Leia had for her son. A man that had turned his back on his family and now served a Master bent on destroying everything she loved. Why had he left? Did Leia even know? Did Ren not know the hole he left behind? 

Armitage had no family to mourn him. His mother had been killed by Brendol, beaten to death in a drunken rage and well, Armitage had made sure the bastard had suffered for it. A slow death, a painful death. A thought struck him then, like a bolt of lightning. Armitage wasn’t the only one to have killed his father. 

He thought back to the days after the fall of Starkiller Base, when Ren had looked so haggard. Red eyed, overly quiet and withdrawn. Ren had stalked around the Finalizer with a darker aura than normal, unpredictable, striking out in anger with little to no provocation. Armitage had thought his childish antics a reflection of his guilt and anger at having disappointed Supreme Leader Snoke. 

Armitage had witnessed Snoke disciplining Ren more than once for what the Supreme Leader called ‘an excess of sentiment’. Calling Ren a stupid, weak boy for what Snoke saw in his apprentice’s mind. Was the Light really extinguished in Ren? Even without reaching for Ren through the Force, Armitage had been able to tell that he was struggling under Snoke’s heavy oppression. As if he didn’t quite fit the Supreme Leader’s mold. 

“Han Solo…”

Leia’s face looked strained and then shuttered, going blank as she turned her face up to the warm light filtering down. The animals above, silent until now, began to move and call to one another, as if broken from a Force compulsion. It seemed to break the tense atmosphere around Leia and she gave Armitage and Finn a sad, barely there smile. 

“My son has done many Dark acts. Before that, Ben was a disciple of the Light. There exists within all of us the potential for both Dark and Light. I believe nothing lasts forever and one day, Ben will come back to the Light. When that happens, I will welcome him with all the love I have. That is all I will say for now.” 

Armitage nodded, knowing it wasn’t truly his place to press Leia for answers about the loss of her ex lover, the father of her child. He moved his eyes from Leia, giving her some privacy to discreetly wipe tears from her eyes. Finn moved forward to assist, smiling gently as he offered her a handkerchief. More importantly, for now…

“This vision of the Jedi Seers...what does it really mean?”

The three of them moved as one to regard it again, Leia and Finn coming to stand on either side of Armitage. Leia sighed and turned to give Armitage a sardonic look. He narrowed his eyes at her, bracing himself as he noticed the teasing light come back into her eyes. 

“It does not matter what _I_ think it means, Armitage. This vision was meant for you, it reflects your future. What do _you_ see?”

He swallowed thickly, grinding his teeth, jaw clenching as he chose his words carefully. 

“To me...it looks a lot like a First Order civil war. One that I seem to have a large part in.”

Leia nodded slowly, eyes assessing him. 

“A civil war that involves redemption for my son and a better path for the First Order.”

Armitage startled. 

“You don’t see the destruction of the First Order? How can redemption for the First Order be possible?” 

She raised an eyebrow, lips quirking into a smirk. 

“You tell me, General.”

He struggled to answer, mind spinning. After a moment, Leia turned him to face her, her warm hands on his shoulders. The touch was grounding, calming and he drew in a deep breath. 

“This is your story, Armitage. Your future, your destiny. I know it is a shock, realizing that you have a greater part to play in the fight for balance in the galaxy. Believe me, I know.”

She huffed out a laugh and Armitage gave her a weak smile. Was this the way of all Force sensitive people? Thrown into battle after battle, ill equipped but responsible for so many? A chosen few to lead, a chosen few to fight. 

But what about what Armitage wanted? What about those seductive dreams; a husband, a child, a family, a home. How could something like that exist for him when his destiny was to fight? A civil war would only coat his hands in more blood. Wasn’t absolution the reason why Armitage had fled the suffocating embrace of the First Order?   
What a fool Armitage had been to think that love and warmth awaited a man such as him. A murderer, a warmonger. His desires didn’t matter, only the universal scales of balance within the Force did. His destiny had always been war. 

And faced with Leia's hope, her dreams for Ben Solo…

“Is this why you took me in, trained me? It wasn’t for my own sake, my own abilities? You see me as the tool with which Kylo Ren can come back to you, back to the Light.” 

Finn shifted behind him, clearing his throat awkwardly. Armitage threw him a glare over his shoulder and Finn grimaced before walking a few steps away, poking absently at the vine covered walls. Armitage rolled his eyes and turned back to Leia, anger hot and coiled like a snake in the pit of his stomach.

He felt used. He admired Leia, he respected her as a mentor in these few short months. And to think that he was only a means to an end...Did Finn feel the same way? Had Finn and Poe welcomed him so warmly because they knew he was useful to the goals of the Resistance? 

Self loathing rose quickly to drown his anger. And why shouldn’t they feel that way? Armitage had so much to atone for, so many lives to save to even begin-  
Leia’s hands tightened over his shoulders enough to be painful, cutting off his darkening thoughts. 

“I have great respect and fondness for you, Armitage. Never think otherwise. I would not have trained you in the ways of the Jedi if I did not trust you, if I did not believe in you. There is no need for you to wield the Force, to pick up a lightsaber to fulfill your destiny. It will help your path, of course, to be able to center yourself, to feel confidence and peace.”

She paused, tilting Armitage’s chin up with a gentle finger, ducking her head to meet his burning eyes. He leaned into the touch, feeling flayed open. As if one wrong word would make him crumble into dust. He had never realized how much he had come to...love Leia, to depend on her and wish she could depend on him. 

Ever empathetic, he was sure Leia could sense his vulnerability. Her touch was light, her voice soothing.

“Even without the Force, you are a dangerously capable man. You are my apprentice for the same reason Finn is; you are destined for great things and it is your heart that will lead you. I trust your heart.” 

Armitage nodded and sighed deeply, turning his head to look at the mural again. It was impossible not to look at Ren and the rendering of himself, floating in air, hands linked. Was this why Armitage found it impossible to banish Ren from his thoughts? Were they really connected? Could Armitage not only rend the First Order in two but also tear Ren from Snoke’s perfidious grasp? Did Ren think of Armitage? Would Ren hesitate to call them enemies? 

“And Ren...Ben?”

Leia sighed and dropped her hands, a sad half smile on her lips as she folded her arms behind her back. 

“I was always a general first and a mother second. Perhaps that was my mistake with Ben. I should have been more involved in his life, his training. I put the good of the galaxy before my family and even now, sometimes, I don’t regret it. But...it hurt Ben. I should have taken the Dark that was rising within him more seriously.” 

Still gazing at the mural, Armitage jumped when Leia reached over and brushed a lock of hair away from his forehead. 

“Your hair is growing so long, Armitage.”

She ran a finger down his cheek, smirking. 

“Your stubble, too. Thinking of growing a beard? I think it would be quite dashing.”

Warmth settled in his chest at her soft touch and teasing smile. He was greedy for every kindness Finn and Leia showed him. If he returned to the First Order, he returned back to the cold, sterile, hopeless life he had lived before. How would Snoke even greet his wayward soldier? It certainly wouldn’t be with patient kindness. 

“Meditate and think on this, Armitage. You still have time. Commune with the Force and you will find your answers.”

He nodded absently as she left his side, hearing her speak to Finn, their voices growing fainter as they made their way back to the camp.   
He sighed and bent to pick up the extinguished torch, lighting it from the nearest brazier to continue lighting the chamber. There were still a few left untouched and the extra light would be welcome come nightfall. There would be no stars to comfort them, so far into the jungle. 

Armitage was suspicious of Finn as well. He had seemed completely unfazed by the reveal of Ren being Leia’s son. He would be sure to ask about-

His musings stuttered to a halt as the light of the torch made something shine from underneath the nearby overgrowth. He hadn’t moved far from the mural and the vines seemed to hide yet more secrets. Compelled, Armitage stepped forward, torch aloft and began gently pulling at the flora with one hand. 

The vines here were smaller, more fragile from having lived deeper within the overgrowth. The more Armitage revealed, the heavier the Force seemed to press into the back of his mind. It’s presence was firm, an invisible guiding hand encouraging him to continue.

It took only a few unhurried moments for Armitage to uncover a long cylindrical object. Breathless with anticipation, Armitage pulled on it, dislodging it from an ancient rusted display shelf. The item itself was not rusted, shining bright despite being covered in dirt and grime. 

Armitage walked a few feet down the rounded wall and set the torch in an empty holder, tilting the item back and forth in both hands. He reverently lifted the edge of his belted tunic and wiped at it, chuckling as the Force churned within his senses. 

It was a lightsaber hilt, twice as long as his own, made of a shining grey metal ore. Armitage’s breath caught as he caressed the long hilt, noting the double hand grips. It looked long enough for two kyber crystals and when he twisted the hilt, the hand grips separated easily, leaving him holding two lightsabers. 

Absently, Armitage stepped away from the wall, rejoining the double hilt, satisfied when they came together again seamlessly. His thumb hovered over the activation button for a moment, the Force pressing down on him, the slow curl of anticipation swirling in his stomach. 

He pressed the button, the familiar sound of activation sending chills up his arms. It never failed to affect him, that sound. It sent his heart beating fast, pulse racing, body prepared to move, to fight. Everything else faded away, leaving Armitage alone with the bright fire orange glow of the saber in his hands. An unusual color, like his own purple saber was.

Fascinated, Armitage activated the other end, eyes widening as another dark orange blade was revealed. It didn’t feel like his own lightsaber did, it didn’t feel like _his_. But it felt similar. He swung it in a clumsy arc, rotating his wrist, surprised at how awkward and heavy it was in his hands. Even with both hands on the hilt, the blood orange blades came a bit too close for comfort. 

It would take a large Force user to wield this saber safely and effectively. A tall person, a strong person. Ren’s intimidating figure rose within Armitage’s mind and he couldn't help but imagine the man’s broad hands replacing his own on the hilt. Ren’s arms would strain, muscles rippling under freckle dotted skin as he gracefully swung the double blades. He would inevitably smirk at having done something Armitage was incapable of, large, dark eyes flashing in teasing triumph. 

The Force seemed to echo Armitage's soft sigh and he straightened, chest tight, deactivating the double saber with a soft click. It was a softer Ren who wielded this lightsaber, still a little Dark but an ally to Armitage nonetheless. The Seer mural had awakened all the thoughts and yearning within Armitage that he had been ruthlessly suppressing since his flight from the First Order. 

He had always been reluctantly fascinated by Ren but now...did his regard for the man run deeper? Armitage scoffed and tightened his hands around the lightsaber hilt, pushing those thoughts away. It did no good to examine them now. As it stood, Ren was still his enemy and if it was their destiny to be allies...or more, that day was far into the future.   
Armitage couldn’t afford such introspection now, it would only make him vulnerable. Especially if he decided to return to the First Order. Ren was no doubt tearing apart the galaxy in search of him, ready to cut him down for his cowardly defection. He couldn’t afford to daydream about Ren’s impressive arms or how warm it would feel in his embrace. Or how formidable the two of them would be as a united front. 

“How does it feel?”

Armitage only just stopped himself from jumping as Leia’s voice came from right behind him. He hadn’t heard her approach, as wrapped up as he was in his thoughts of Ren. Always, his mind was cluttered with thoughts of Ren. He really was pathetic. He turned to her with a smirk, grip tight around the hilt as he presented it to her. She didn’t seem surprised to see it. 

“It feels like mine but...not like mine. Intimately similar. I can’t explain it very well. It’s just…”

“A feeling?”

He nodded at Leia, narrowing his eyes as she stepped forward to unclip his own saber from his hip. She laid it upon her own palms and held the two sabers close. The air around the two hilts seemed to glow faintly, the blue color growing more intense the closer she brought their hands. 

Armitage blinked and Leia leaned back, taking the hilt and the glowing light with her. She smiled indulgently at his confusion, offering his own lightsaber back, making no move towards the double bladed saber. 

He clipped both lightsabers to his belt, starkly relieved that Leia had not touched the orange lightsaber. He felt oddly possessive of it. Leia sighed, looking as if the weight of the world sat on her shoulders. Perhaps it did. 

“Come, Armitage. I don’t wish to overwhelm you but this is something we must discuss immediately.” 

Leia walked him back to the campsite in the middle of the temple room, a gentle guiding hand between his shoulder blades. Finn ignored them as they sat near the guttering fire, too busy going through their scattered supplies in search of food to pay them any mind. Despite his distraction, Armitage knew Finn would be listening to every word. He found the thought comforting. 

Armitage smiled as he watched Leia situate herself on the rickety camp chairs he pulled over for them. He opened his mouth to ask about the glow but she held up a finger, moving her robes and accepting the cafe Finn offered her. Armitage waved his own cup away, stomach churning. 

Finn gave him a playfully suspicious look but retreated to the other side of the fire without a word, sitting on the floor cross legged, sipping on his own cafe. Leia cleared her throat, bringing Armitage's attention back to her. 

“It is not uncommon for lightsabers to show such an effect but within the Jedi, it is considered precious. My brother, Luke’s, and my own reacted similarly when held together. The glow reflects the connection between our souls.” 

She paused, gazing into the depths of the fire, looking deep in thought.

“The Jedi call it a Force bond. Since the day they were forged, our lightsabers have been connected. Just as my brother and I have been connected from the day of our birth. Twin souls, twin blades.” 

She turned back to Armitage, the campfire reflecting in her eyes, setting them aglow. Armitage’s heart beat faster and he caressed the orange saber hilt with trembling fingers. 

“If that’s true, then whomever this belongs to is…”

He trailed off, swallowing thickly, pushing down the rising crest of hope in his chest. Kriff, a Force bond. He had read of them in his research of Force sensitivity but not much was publicly known about them. The Jedi order jealously guarded and hoarded any knowledge or intricacies of the Force. As if they were the only ones worthy of it. 

Leia’s features softened and she reached for his hands, taking them in her own. It felt strange to touch her Force projection, the absence of the callouses he knew graced her palms from wielding a lightsaber were starkly absent. He found comfort in the gesture regardless. 

“Luke and I share what is called a Dyad bond, one of the most intimate in existence. We are one soul in two bodies. I can call upon his power even a galaxy apart and he can do the same. There are no secrets between us, no dark hidden parts that are unknown to the other. I can feel him, even hear his thoughts when he wills it.”

She squeezed his hands tight enough to hurt, eyes a little wild around the edges. Armitage frowned but didn’t pull away, willing to listen until the end, hungry to know, desperate for any sign that he wasn’t destined to walk his path alone. 

Friends were one thing but a Force bond? A person in the galaxy so attuned to his soul that they were inextricably linked, even before ever meeting? That was not a thing to be squandered. Even a man as jaded as Armitage could concede that. 

“And you think that this person and I share a Dyad bond?”

Leia shook her head, pursing her lips. 

“No, no. Dyad bonds are beyond rare, I would be shocked if another one existed within my own lifetime. Before my brother and I, the last one was three hundred years ago. And beyond that, none were ever recorded.”

Armitage took a deep breath, growing frustrated. 

“Then please, enlighten me on what kind of bond I share with this mystery person.”

Leia gave him a wry look, head tilting to the side. He felt instantly chastened and ducked his head. It had been a long time since he had lashed out in anger at those around him. It felt wrong to fall back on that habit now, surrounded by kindness and understanding as he was. 

Leia and Finn were not Captain Phasma, rolling her eyes at his biting taunts. Or Mitaka, stoically enduring his general’s ire. Or Ren, able to wound him back with words just as vicious. This was not the toxic First Order. 

“I am an empath. First and foremost, I can _feel_ the Force. I can understand the love, hope and hate within every living being just as you can understand the intentions, malicious or benign, within them. We all have our own strengths.”

She sighed, looking suddenly exhausted. Armitage wanted to reach for her, the urge to soothe her almost impossible to ignore. But he stayed still, his body vibrating with anticipation, the Force swirling around him as if the next words from her mouth were too important to miss. _Listen closely, pay attention_ , it seemed to say. 

“I tell you this because you must believe that I have _no doubt_ about what I just felt, holding your lightsaber and the other one so close.”

She paused again, hesitating. 

“What? _What?_ Kriff, just tell me!”

“Love, Armitage. I felt steadfast, unbreakable love. Your bond to this person is a Soulmate Bond. A bond between two separate but equal souls, bound together by destiny.”  
All of the breath left Armitage and his head went featherlight, a sudden dizziness making him waver on his chair. Finn and Leia made as if to move and steady him but he held out his hands, palm forward, shaking his head. 

Love? Soulmate? How could such a thing exist? _Why_ would such a thing exist? Who was this person? He must have asked those questions out loud or perhaps Leia plucked them from his spinning mind because she answered, voice low and soothing. 

“You can’t think of anyone that would own your heart, your soul? Was there not immediately and undeniably someone within your mind’s eye the moment you held the twin blade?” 

_Ren_. 

He stood then, pacing away, holding his arms across his chest. He felt stifled, as if the air itself had turned to a creeping sludge, coating his throat and lungs with every labored breath. His chest constricted, limbs trembling. He felt ready to shake apart. He couldn’t think, _he couldn’t think_. 

“I’ve said too much. Forgive me, Armitage. I must leave now.”

He felt her come near, stopping behind his hunched back. He felt her gaze like a physical touch, he could sense her guilt and concern. He nodded jerkily, not turning to face her. He felt her consciousness leave, the absence of her presence like a black hole in the middle of the room. 

He heard Finn moving around the campsite but Armitage stayed still, staring blankly at the wall before him. After a few moments, his eyes focused once again and Armitage realized he had instinctively wandered back to the mural. 

This time, the sight of his painted self clutching at Ren’s hands took on a different meaning. He knew, deep within, that Leia was right. Kylo Ren, Ben Solo was his soulmate. The bitter taste of bile rose at the back of his throat and he swallowed it down, forcing the panic at bay with deep breaths. 

This revelation changed nothing. From the first time they had gone head to head aboard the Finalizer, each of them desperate to tear the other to pieces, Armitage had always known that wanting Ren was inexorable. He had always secretly coveted each moment alone with Ren, wanting to stab him as much as kiss him.

Now he knew that loving Ren was inevitable but Armitage didn’t feel any different, not really. On the trail of his shock, came relief. Finally, he had an answer to why Ren had called to him, why the aggravating man had always been so fascinating. 

But Armitage also knew that Leia was wrong. Love wasn’t salvation. It wasn’t an all knowing, all healing power, able to bring Light to the galaxy. Love was ruinous and Ren was going to destroy him. 

“Come on, buddy. You need to rest and Leia’s right. Don’t decide anything before you sleep on it. Or even better, meditate.”

As if through a long tunnel, Armitage could hear Finn’s voice, could feel his friend’s arm around his shoulder, guiding him away from the consuming vortex that was the Seer’s mural. Finn was right, Leia was right. 

Armitage had time, time to think, time to plan. He would be the impetus of change within the First Order. And maybe, if Armitage were smart enough, clever enough, ruthless enough, Ren wouldn’t be standing on the other side of the battlefield.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how long this fic is going to be. I was shooting for about ten chapters but the plot keeps...expanding. It won't be crazy long tho. 
> 
> Also, I know forging your own lightsaber is an important part of Force training but I'm leaving that part pretty ambiguous. 
> 
> I welcome all speculation and theories.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos!

Breakfast the next morning was a quiet affair for Armitage and Finn. 

It was Armitage’s turn to make the meal and he worked in silence, brewing caf and warming up the less than impressive pre packaged meals. Finn had abandoned hunting to supplement their supplies after encountering the mysterious beast, both of them reluctant to leave their temple safe haven. 

It didn’t help that recently, Leia had become more stringent and demanding with their training sessions. It was as if she was preparing for something imminent, something she felt within the Force. Whatever it was, Leia didn’t feel the need to share it. 

Finn was in a spectacular mood, humming and smiling as he watched Armitage work. It was in direct contrast to Armitage’s grumpy exhaustion. Leia had confirmed that Poe had come back from his mission and was planning to visit them soon. Armitage couldn’t really hold Finn’s elevated mood against him, no matter how much he envied it. 

“You knew Kylo Ren was Ben Solo.”

It wasn’t a question. Finn straightened from his sleepy slump, meeting Armitage's eyes directly, not looking even remotely ashamed. Armitage wasn’t truly upset by Finn’s silence, he just hated not knowing something so important. Information, the lack or gain, always meant life or death in the First Order. He imagined it would be the same for the Resistance. 

“You listened to me talk about him, inferred that I’m in-” love? 

How stupid. They may be _bonded_ but that didn’t mean he had to get sappy about this. Ren still considered them enemies. He was probably at this very moment cursing the day Armitage had ever been born for his betrayal of Snoke and the First Order. Best not to get too ahead of reality, no matter how the thought of Ren being _his_ made Armitage's blood burn. He cleared his throat. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Finn sighed and swirled his caf, looking into the mug for a long moment. He pursed his lips and answered. 

“Honestly? It wasn’t my place to tell you. It’s not my family.”

He grimaced, looking sheepish. 

“I, uh, found out by accident. I overheard Han Solo and Leia talking. They mentioned it and I kinda freaked out...it was a whole thing.”

He shook his head. 

“Anyway, Leia asked me to keep it close to the chest.”

Finn pinned Armitage with a serious look, his dark eyes piercing. It caught Armitage by surprise and he froze under his gaze. 

“I was honored to be her confidante, just like I am to be yours. You can trust me to keep your secrets, Armitage.”

“Even from Poe?” 

“As long as it doesn’t hurt Poe not to know... then, yes. Even from Poe.”

Armitage huffed, smirking when Finn threw him a boyish grin. He ignored the comforting warmth suffusing his chest at Finn’s confident declaration and silently helped clean up their camp in preparation for the day. They would train and spar for a few hours and then Armitage planned on dedicating the rest of the time to meditation.   
Once their clean dishes were stacked and their trash was put away, Finn turned to gather his lightsaber and tunic. Armitage sat for a moment, lost in thought, absently tapping his finger against his thigh. 

“Finn?”

“Hmm?”

Finn didn’t pause to look at him and Armitage found it easier to say,

“I am convinced that you are one of the most kind hearted, compassionate and quietly thoughtful people I will ever meet in my life. Thank you...for being my friend.”

Finn’s smile was a little watery but Armitage didn’t mention it. He was sure his own was a trembling mess. 

***

The temple grounds were gorgeous in a derelict, abandoned kind of way. The outside wall of the temple was a rough stone and moss ran rampant over every jagged surface. The vines were prominent, reaching down from the towering trees above to twine lovingly around ruined walls and scorched earth. It was a beautiful array of greens and browns. 

Armitage wandered the temple perimeter, speculating about what had happened to this place. There had obviously been a battle, one that Leia insinuated that the Jedi occupants had lost. He could picture it so clearly, that doomed encounter. The might of the Empire against the peaceful Jedi Seers. Had they seen visions of their own defeat? Had the Seers even bothered to fight back? 

Armitage couldn’t even comprehend not fighting back, even when his fate was decided. The thought was so repulsive for a man that had stopped at nothing to realize his lofty goals; bribery, intimidation, murder. Armitage was never a man to just lay down and die. 

He sighed, clearing his head of such thoughts. He had left the temple to find a secluded, relaxing place to meditate. Leia had said he would find his answers if he communed with the Force. 

So far, his meditation had been a practice in frustration. His mind was so clouded with a hundred different thoughts, all colliding together, each more impatient than the last to be recognized. It was near impossible to shut off his thoughts, to let go of his own worries and reach out into the galaxy. 

But this Seer’s vision changed things. Armitage had to work harder, train not only his body but his mind in order to see the path of his destiny. Armitage was a man of order, plans, and artifice. The thought of going back to the First Order effectively blind was unthinkable.

Not to mention that aboard the Finalizer, so close to Ren and his Master’s influence, Armitage would have to be careful about using the Force. He wasn’t even sure it was possible to hide himself away again. His power, his awareness felt much too volatile, much too obvious. He would have to use Snoke’s arrogance against him, play up the part of the leashed servant. If Ren didn’t kill him on sight, before Armitage could put his silvered tongue to use. 

The trees slowly gave way to a clearing, the debris indicating it had once been a garden of some sort. There were stone circles covering the ground, spaced geometrically. It looked very much like a meditation garden and Armitage smiled, sending his amusement out into the Force. He could feel it press back, urging him forward. Armitage rolled his eyes and went to the stone circle exactly in the middle of the clearing, muttering,

“All right, all right. I’m going.”

An hour, then two passed and Armitage was ready to give up. Every little noise was beyond distracting, the pitter patter of foraging feet, the snap of a high branch, the chatter of birds. Every sound pulled him away from fully relaxing, his eyes snapping open to observe his environment. 

Armitage grit his teeth and closes his eyes tight, suppressing a frustrated growl. He would much rather fight another four armed, slobbering beast than sit here and fail to meditate. The Academy had done well to train its cadets in hyper-vigilance, turning the young recruits against each other and punishing those left behind or those caught out.   
Torturing your fellows was a quaint pass time. Drawing blood and giving bruises resulted in the instructors doling out indulgent chuckles. And Armitage had made sure to rise above the rest, honing his cruelty and acerbic taunts until no one dared challenge him. 

With distance and comparison, Armitage found the Academy disgusting. It was on his list of institutions to dismantle when he sat on the Supreme Leader’s throne. He would use the First Order’s tyrannical influence to make real changes in the galaxy, starting with the very same academy that had shaped him into the man he used to be. A man Armitage hoped to never be again. 

The wind picked up around Armitage, blowing through the ancient trees that surrounded his little oasis. The smell of petrichor rose from the soil and Armitage took a deep breath. The wind blew through the clearing again, pulling on Armitage's loose tunic and his messy, curling hair. He took another deep breath, feeling his shoulders relax just as the faint sound of bells drew his attention. 

He strained his ears to hear that sound again, tilting his head forward with a faint frown. Bells? There, again, the soft purl of jangling laughter. It was centering, making Armitage's body feel far away, filling his mind with warm serenity. He held onto that sound, clutching it like a lifeline even as the wind in his hair and the sun on his face faded away. 

There was darkness before him now, in his mind’s eye. The comforting darkness of space, infinite and all knowing, filled with a sentient presence. The Force. It filled him, surrounded him, comforted him and... _pushed him_. 

In an instant, Armitage was transported into a distant light. He blinked rapidly, shielding his raw eyes against blinding fluorescent illumination. He recognized where he was immediately; Arkanis Academy. He recoiled violently, launching his consciousness back into the welcoming arms of empty space, panic squeezing his heart. Not ready, _not ready_. 

Armitage floated for a long moment, feeling disgusted at his weakness. What would his father say to such childish fragility? Not being able to face, for even an instant, the organization that had sheltered him as a child, that had shaped him into the perfect, unfeeling soldier for a sociopathic megalomaniac. 

What would _Ren_ say? Would he sneer at Armitage, call him stupid and incompetant, rage against their Force bond? Or would Ren understand, having his own difficult, wildering past? 

Another light in the darkness, a softer one that pulsed temptingly. Armitage only hesitated for a moment before he willed himself closer, approaching this destination with more caution. The stars were a blur, the feeling of _home, hurry_ urged him forward and a space ship slowly coalesced in his vision. A ship that Armitage knew intimately, one that he had drawn with loving detail and given to the engineers to birth a whole fleet of Resurgent-class Star Destroyers. 

But this one was _his_. His to rule, his to command. The Finalizer. 

It took a mere thought to phase his body through the durasteel layers and Armitage concentrated, hoping to keep himself incorporeal, unseen by any passing staff. He landed in the officer’s corridor with a jolt, his mind working to keep his feet on the ground, to make his body mimic the laws of physics. 

Armitage took a breath and walked forward, smiling in triumph when it worked. He moved as if his body were present, walking down the corridor one slow step at a time, towards his quarters. Or what should have been his quarters. Surely, they had been allocated to General Pryde, the bastard. He would have taken unbridled glee at replacing   
Armitage in every way, stepping in to erase Armitage completely. 

But when he stepped into his quarters, they were still the same. Nothing had been touched; his clothes were still flung across his unmade bed, an empty, used glass sat on the side table, his holopad lay on his pillow. Kriff, his toothbrush was still sitting on the ‘fresher sink. 

Armitage spun in a slow circle, taking in his quarters, confused. It almost felt like...a shrine. Sacred, untouched, waiting for him. 

Why would Snoke have allowed this to happen? Surely, the Supreme Leader would have worked to erase all signs of his traitor general. Armitage had expected all of his things to have been thrown into the nearest compactor with gloating relish. 

The halls were still empty, the quiet that heralded night shift a welcoming balm to Armitage's fraying nerves. Instead of turning towards the command deck, instead of torturing himself with the sight of Pryde at _his_ helm, Armitage closed his eyes, concentrating, reaching through the Force for...yes, there. _Ren_. 

He opened his eyes again, no longer surprised to see his surroundings had changed. Apparently, he could just think himself somewhere with little effort. The Force was his to use but, no, that didn’t feel quite right. Right now, Armitage _was_ the Force. He was one with the galaxy, his power, his mind was everywhere at once but also _here_. In someone’s...quarters? 

Was he still aboard the Finalizer? These quarters were nothing short of massive, with tall, towering ceilings and ridiculously spacious rooms. He walked forward through the open architecture, eyes wide. The lights had been dimmed, as if ordered to half power to sleep and it caused shadows to dance in the corners of Armitage’s eyes.

It was utilitarian in decor, black walls broken up by grey durasteel. One wall was purely transparasteel, looking out into the vast reaches of space, stars and debris passing leisurely as the ship advanced on its course. 

It was the Finalizer, Armitage could still feel the familiar hum of the engines deep under his feet, the distant susurration of sleeping and working minds that belonged to the soldier’s of the First Order. 

But he had never known such a room existed. Or...yes, of course. He remembered including a room like this in the blueprints for the Finalizer, hoping to impress the Supreme Leader with such opulent quarters, so far above what everyone else would receive. Snoke had only sneered at it, accusing Armitage of being a bootlicking coward and stalked off to the throne room. 

In a fit of pique, Armitage had promptly turned these rooms into storage for the cleaning staff, letting them shove used mops and greasy spare bot parts into it. Why did it look so pristine, so lived in? Where were the spilled chemicals, the rusty neglect? 

There were display cases set up throughout the receiving room, protected by barriers of humming blue lasers. Armitage, burning with curiosity, stepped up to each of them. They were fairly innocuous, personal only to whomever occupied these quarters. 

Armitage frowned, annoyed and a little disappointed until he came to a display deeper into the room. It was closest to the dark open entrance to what was designed to be the bedroom. Beyond the soothing hum of lasers, Armitage could hear deep, even breathing. He knew, without even reaching out, that Ren lay sleeping not far away. 

Fear and longing warred within Armitage as he stood there, gazing sightlessly into the blackness of the bedroom. A bone deep longing to see Ren’s face again, to feel his compelling presence surrounding Armitage like a warm blanket. Was it the Finalizer that felt like home or was it…

He also felt a paralyzing fear about what Armitage would find once he saw Ren again. Would he find that Ren had barely noticed his absence? Would he find complete   
indifference in Ren’s face? Would that be worse or better than if he found Ren was obsessed with finding his erstwhile nemesis? Was Ren imagining all the ways he could remove Armitage's head once he was captured? 

Swallowing heavily, Armitage snapped his head away from the bedroom entrance, blindly looking before him at the last display. It took a moment for his eyes to focus but when they did, he froze, amusement and confusion flooding his mind. 

“What the kriff?”

It was a crushed and melted black helmet. Armitage squinted harder against the glaring blue light of the protective lasers, leaning closer with a bewildered frown. 

Armitage froze when the deep breathing behind him cut off, eyes going wide. Before he could react, the lights came up to one hundred percent and he spun on his heel, blinded by the sudden fluorescence. A scream was trapped in his throat when the familiar red of Ren’s lightsaber flared to life within the darkness of the bedroom. 

Perhaps with more training, Armitage could be as adept at Force Projection as Leia. Leia was completely corporeal when she traveled, able to touch and be touched, able to influence objects where she traveled and bring objects with her. 

The deadly red light came closer and Armitage instinctively raised his hands to shield his face as the lightsaber swung at him, drinking in the sight of Ren as he emerged from the darkness, his face thunderous. 

“Who dares!?”

One instant, two, maybe, was all that Armitage had to desperately take in Ren’s enraged face, his sweat covered, bare body before he felt a pull, the Force urging him to leave. He didn’t need to pretend to walk to move backwards, towards the looming transparasteel wall and into the safety of space. He followed the guiding hand of the Force, reaching for Ren even as the man advanced to cut him in half. 

Ren paused as Armitage faded, staggering to a halt, lightsaber deactivating. Armitage couldn’t look away, watching Ren’s face cycle between too many emotions to truly parse; rage, confusion, disbelief, doubt...longing? Then he was gone. 

Surrounded by stars, suspended in darkness, Armitage relaxed, holding the memory of Ren’s expressive face close. Had Armitage imagined the yearning in Ren’s face? Had his mind misinterpreted the twitch of Ren’s arm, as if he wanted to raise it and mirror Armitage's own? Reaching, desperate to connect, their souls aching for one another. 

Armitage was filled with a hundred more questions after finding Ren. Nothing aboard the Finalizer had been as he thought it would be. Ren had looked pale, exhausted, stretched thin. Was Snoke torturing the man because he was failing to bring Armitage in? Or did it have nothing to do with him? Had Ren been set to another mission for his Master, one that took an incredible toll? 

Armitage, in his hubris, had imagined Ren scouring the known and unknown galaxy to bring him in, to make him pay for his treachery. Perhaps Armitage was more of a fool than he realized. What if he never crossed Kylo Ren’s thoughts? Maybe Ren couldn’t, would never, feel the bond between them. 

Had Armitage made a fatal mistake, seeking Ren once more? He had been a beacon, shining brightly, calling to Armitage even from across the lonely reaches of space. Impossible to ignore and so tempting. 

Armitage had been careless, caught off guard by Ren’s attack, defenseless in his inexperience. He had allowed Ren to see him. Had Ren recognized him? Had he given the man some kind of clue as to where to find him? Had Armitage put the Resistance in danger? He had to warn Leia. 

The sound of bells came to him, faint, a lure to his tired soul. He closed his eyes and remembered the feel of his body, the weight of his hands, resting on his thighs, the wind caressing his hair. The sound of the leaves rustling, the smell of petrichor, the afternoon sun beaming down, hot and muggy.

He opened his eyes, taking a deep cleansing breath, blinking to adjust to the bright sun. It felt heavy to be back in his body and he missed the freeing weightlessness of Force Projection. For a long moment, his body felt like a cage, making him dizzy with mounting panic. He took a few more deep breaths, latching on to the silvery sound of jingling bells, hands clenched, chin tilted back. 

Slowly, the feeling of his soul within his body grew familiar and he let go of the bells, letting the soothing sound fade into the background of his mind. Calm now, he unclenched his hands and dropped his shoulders, reaching his mind to check on Finn. He was inside the temple, his mind at peace, meditating as well. 

With a pained laugh, Armitage fell backwards, landing on his back in the grass with a thud, arms and legs sprawled. Eyes closed, basking in the sun, he felt Leia before she spoke. Her comforting presence shimmered on the edge of his mind, slowly growing stronger. 

“I felt a flare in your power, Armitage. Are you alright?”

A warmth settled in his chest at the naked, unabashed concern in her tone. After a lifetime deprived of love and tenderness, it never failed to surprise him when Leia or Finn showed even the barest hint of caring for him. 

He rolled his head to the side, squinting up at her silhouette. He felt a little giddy, his body humming with excitement despite his confrontation with Ren. He had accomplished something wonderful, something powerful. Even Leia had her limits when Force Projecting across the galaxy and had cautioned Finn and Armitage the mortal cost that could result in not watching their limitations. 

He hadn’t recognized the stars around the Finalizer but he never had been adept at reading star charts. He felt fine, physically. Exhausted but whole. How far had he gone? What were his limitations and how could he safely test-

Leia leaned closer, bent at the waist and the shadows moved across her face, revealing a pinched expression. Armitage cleared his throat and answered her, the edges of his lips trembling as he fought a smug grin. 

“I was just aboard the Finalizer.”

The shock on her face sobered him and when the blood drained from her cheeks he sat up swiftly, rising to his feet and reaching for her. She grasped at his forearm, squeezing tightly as he cupped her bicep gently. 

“Leia? What’s happened? Are you-”

She shook her head and laughed low, sounding incredulous. 

“Armitage, for you to have Force Projected to the Finalizer...it’s impossible. You would be dead.”

Armitage swallowed roughly and stepped closer, lowering his voice in response to her own hushed tone. Who could hear them but the trees? 

“I don’t understand. I feel hale and hearty, a little tired, perhaps.”

She took in the sight of him, as if she didn’t believe that he felt fine. He let her look, a feeling of dread in his chest. She looked utterly serious. 

“A _little_ tired? I-”

She shook her head, a smile tugging at the edges of her lips. The sight of it made the knot of anxiety in Armitage’s chest unravel. Her hand slid down his forearm to take his, folding his fingers, protectively, between her own. 

“I knew you would be powerful but this…”, she laughed again, warmer this time, “my sources say the Finalizer is more than half the galaxy away. A force sensitive Projecting so far was thought impossible. You continue to surprise me, Armitage.”

Armitage flushed a little at the praise in her voice, feeling it wash over him, like drinking warm honeyed tea. Her expression turned sly and Armitage tensed. 

“The Finalizer, huh? What reason could you have for going there?”

She knew why but Armitage refused to play her teasing game. He sniffed, letting go of her arm and tilted his head up imperiously. 

“Why wouldn’t I go to the Finalizer? If I am to liberate the First Order, I need all the information I can gather about their current operations. That’s all, I assure you.” 

Her smile dimmed. 

“Ben?” 

Armitage sighed and nodded, looking to the side uncomfortably.

“I only saw him for an instant but he looked… stressed, exhausted. Normal for him, really.”

It was a small lie but Leia accepted it. She nodded back and took a deep breath, turning to take in the clearing. 

“I see you found the meditation garden. It seems to have helped you concentrate.”

Armitage came to stand next to her, taking in the wild beauty around them. What would the temple have looked like when the Jedi were still alive and thriving here? 

“Indeed.”

He hesitated and she turned to him, tilting her head, ever patient. It was one of Armitage's favorite things about his mentor, the fact that she knew when to push him and when to wait. 

“This bond between Ren, rather Ben and I…”

One letter of a difference in the name and it still felt wrong on his tongue. 

“The Soulbond.”

Armitage shivered, still not used to hearing those words. It felt monumental, the Force swirling around him at every mention of the bond, as if in anticipation of Armitage and Ren’s destiny together. A destiny that Armitage still had hardship believing in. He wanted the Soulbond, more than he could ever say but it just felt too...impossible. 

Surely, Ren would never believe in it either. Kriff, he didn’t even know Armitage was Force Sensitive. So much had changed…

“Yes, the Soulbond. I could feel it through the Force while I was meditating. It was like a beacon, a bright light pulling me towards Ren. It felt impossible to resist and I didn’t want to. Is that...normal, for Force bonds?”

Leia hummed, her eyes calculating. He shifted under the weight of her gaze, suddenly conscious of her own powers within the Force. Could she feel his longing when he spoke of Ren, his insecurities and hopelessness? Of course she could, Leia was a powerful Empath. It was galling for Armitage to be so stripped bare, able to shield his mind but not his emotions. 

Not that he had bothered to do either since coming here. He felt safe here, protected. Would he ever feel that way with anyone else? Anywhere else? 

“As far as I am aware, a Soulbond connects you to each other intimately. It seems to focus more on emotions and needs than the other possible bonds. Commonly, a Soulbond is romantic in nature but not always so. A Force bond is as unique as the people involved and constantly changing and growing, just as the people do.” 

“Emotions and needs?”

Her smile turned sly again, tugging one side of her mouth up. It never failed to set him on edge, it never failed to remind him of Ren. The same smile, the same teasing light in their matching brown eyes. That familiar ache opened within his chest and Armitage ruthlessly suppressed it. 

“A Force bond must be accepted and nurtured. Historically, the Jedi held a ceremony to recognize the bond, any bond, between any number of Force Sensitive beings. But, usually, the bonded can intuitively _feel_ or _sense_ each other.”

She paced forward, absently running her hand across the nearest bells, making them swing from the branch in which they hung. Armitage stood still and tense, listening, enraptured, hungry to know everything. 

“For example, there is a Force bond between Ben and I, a family bond that connected us even before my son was born. For many years, I nurtured it and he in turn embraced the bond. I could feel his joy and tribulations, I shared in his pride and accomplishments. I shared my own love through our bond when I should have taken more care. I didn’t say enough, didn’t do enough and Ben, he just drifted away…”

She sighed, the Force responding to her regret and distress. The air around them grew heavy, oppressive. Armitage wanted to step forward, to comfort her but he sensed that she needed the space between them, she needed him to hear her. 

“When he left us, when he left behind Luke and the Jedi, he closed off the bond between us. But sometimes, when he is careless, exhausted or even just happy, I can get a glimpse of him again. The smallest little trickle of his emotions leaking from the dam in his mind, sometimes even his thoughts.” 

She threw him a brighter grin. 

“That is how I knew what tea you prefer and your love of all things chocolate.”

Armitage raised his eyebrows in surprise. He opened his mouth to speak a few times, mind spinning. 

“I-what? Why would Ren be thinking about things like that?”

She gave him a disappointed, sardonic look before shaking her head, huffing out a laugh. 

“I swear, these children…”

He frowned at her, offended. She waved her hand, cutting off his irate response. He deflated, rolling his eyes. He should just accept that Leia would always be cryptic. She seemed to enjoy knowing things that others did not. 

“I was working my way to a point. Now what was it, ah, yes. I may not know my son as well as I once did, as well as I should as his mother but I do know some important things.”

Leia had paced her way back to him and she gently swept a lock of hair from Armitage’s face, tucking it behind his ear. His throat went tight at the gesture, chest constricting. Such an innocuous thing, to touch him so gently but it drew from him words he wished he could swallow, words that burned on the way out, revealing too much. 

“He _hates me_ , Leia. How can I have a Soulbond with a man that hates me, a man that would see me dead to please his Dark Master?”

Her expression fell, sadness and the barest hint of pity shining through. Armitage swallowed down the bile that threatened to rise in his throat. His first instinct was to strike out at her, to see any other emotion but _pity_ on her lovely face. He didn’t fight when her hand cupped his cheek but he suppressed the urge to lean into it. Her eyes were piercing, her expression fierce. 

“Armitage, listen to me. You _deserve_ to be loved.”

He wanted to argue, even opened his mouth to do so but her eyes flashed, reflecting an inner fire, a complete faith in her own words. He sighed and looked to the side, embarrassed by how much he yearned to believe her. 

“And you think Ren is the one to give me this love?”

She laughed softly and ducked her head, catching his gaze again. Her face was fond. 

“Armitage, love isn’t something that will come to you one day. It isn’t something to be bestowed upon you by some future lover. You are loved now. Right now. I love you, Finn loves you, Poe loves you.”

Armitage’s eyes were wet but he didn’t try to blink the tears away. He felt numb with disbelief, his heart aching in his chest. Leia’s hand rose to cup his other cheek, her grip warm and comforting on both sides of his face. The touch was grounding. 

“And yes, I believe that one day my son, Ben will love you. The Force connected the two of you for a reason.”

He shook his head, feeling a tear escape one eye. It slowly rolled down his face and into Leia’s palm. 

“You don’t know him anymore, Leia. He’s not Ben. Kylo Ren is not your son.” 

Her face fell and the guilt that gripped him was almost unbearable. But he had to say it, she had to understand that bringing Ren back to the Light was a losing battle. He was so steeped in the shadows, so brainwashed by the rhetoric of Snoke. 

Rhetoric that Armitage had supported, much to his own disgust. Ren had killed his own father by the order of Snoke, for kriff’s sake! What could possibly turn him away from the Dark? His chains were not so easily broken. How could she have so much faith in the Force, in Armitage, in their Soulbond?

As if she could sense his thoughts, she spoke, her hands dropping from his face to his shoulders. 

“Ben is a part of my flesh, born from my own soul. I can always feel him, here.”

She put a hand over her heart. 

“Ben Solo still lives inside of my son and Kylo Ren is desperate to let him free. Kylo Ren is a shroud, a dark mantle that Ben has taken on to hide away from his black deeds and the injuries done against him by the people he loved. He hides his guilt and his lonely heart behind the mask of Lord Ren.” 

Armitage took a deep breath and held it, feeling as if this moment, right here, was momentous. 

“It is an ill fitting identity, one that grates. He just needs the encouragement and the confidence to shed it. Please, Armitage, help my son find his redemption. For me, for the galaxy but also, for yourself.” 

Armitage felt the truth of her words echo in the Force, in his own heart. He blew out his breath and could only answer, 

“I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably add fluff and pining tags, huh? 
> 
> Next chapter, shit's about to POP. OFF.


	9. Chapter 9

Armitage found that meditation came easier to him in the week that followed. It was as if he just needed to push past an invisible, frustrating barrier in his mind. The walls of his own resistance had crumbled and calling upon the Force was almost second nature now. Even his healing abilities had advanced, minor scrapes and bruises from training disappearing with almost no thought at the end of the day. 

Instead of the smug pride that Armitage expected, a deep sadness welled up within his breast. He could feel that his idyllic days with Finn and Leia were coming to an end. He sensed that his destiny was calling him forward, the Force pulsing with expectant excitement, pulling at his mind, urging for...something. 

He had spent so much time away from the First Order, six kriffing months by the Finalizer’s count. Armitage still had no idea how he was to reintegrate back into the First Order. A staged rescue? He would have to make his way off planet, far away from the hidden Resistance base. Even then, there was a high chance of Resistance casualties. It would be suspicious for Armitage not to be guarded. 

Leia had not broached the subject, perhaps waiting for Armitage to do so himself. He found that he was reluctant to, even knowing that he was wasting precious time. Who knew what damage Pryde had done in Armitage’s absence.

It was the First Order allies that Armitage worried for the most. If he were to succeed in vast change, their allies were crucial to such a pivot. Armitage had worked tirelessly for years to place each supporting organization or government in the most strategic positions. Physically and morally. 

General Pryde was an intimidating man, a man of violence and dominance. He was a battering ram to Armitage’s hidden dagger. Armitage accomplished much more with slow, honeyed words than Pryde ever could with brute force. To push a potential ally too fast or too hard could break their trust. 

Armitage sighed into his morning caf, shifting restlessly. The very fact that he was seriously considering these issues meant that it was time to leave here, to go back to the First Order, back to Ren. Armitage frowned and knocked back the dregs in his mug, wincing.

There was a larger issue than General Pryde looming before Armitage; Supreme Leader Snoke. He couldn’t envision a different future for the Order with Snoke in charge. And Armitage sensed that he would have to take the reins of the Order from Snoke’s cold, dead hands. Would he have to go through Ren to take Snoke down? The thought made him nauseous. 

All of his speculation meant nothing without the facts. Leia was due to check on them after lunch. He would bring up his return then and hopefully persuade her to convey any and all intel the Resistance had on the movements of the First Order. 

It was time to face reality, it was time to face his destiny. Although, knowing Leia, she had all of this planned out, would come bearing obsessive reports of Snoke and Ren. She had as much stake as Armitage did in the success of his mission. 

Armitage would find a way to turn the First Order away from Snoke, away from the Dark. They may never be a bastion of Light but the Order had so much potential for providing balance in the galaxy. They would make enemies of their more self serving allies, those organizations determined to grasp any and all power at the expense and destruction of others. But the Order would also gain the valuable respect of their more righteous allies, ones that had been bullied and manipulated into supporting the First Order. 

The potential for success was vast and so was the potential for failure. But nothing could be decided so far from the Finalizer. Armitage had to return.   
Armitage still had hours to wade through before he could speak with Leia. He would go through his morning training with Finn. An hour to spar, an hour to meditate, an hour to rest, rinse and repeat. 

*** 

Finn was deep in meditation when Armitage returned to the temple shortly before lunch. So deep that he was impossible to rouse, even the smell of his favorite meal doing nothing to break Finn’s concentration. Armitage did nothing further to disturb him, stacking up wood onto the fire and settling onto his bedroll to relax. 

Armitage kept an eye on Finn as he ate, helpless but to reflect on the time spent with his new friend. They had grown closer while training together, forging a bond that felt unbreakable. Finn was kind, understanding and incredibly loyal. It was a blessing, truly, that Finn had fought his Stormtrooper training and fled to the Resistance. Imaging the man as a dead eyed fanatic, a brainwashed soldier was sickening. 

Finn’s brow furrowed and a small, hurt sound escaped past his suddenly clenched jaw. Armitage went still, the Force around them echoing Finn’s distress. He was up and kneeling before Finn in an instant, Armitage’s hands clutching his straining forearms. Finn’s whole body was tense, his eyes flickering madly behind tightly closed lids. 

“Finn? Finn, come back.”

It was useless and Armitage let out a frustrated sigh, unsure of how to proceed. Finn wasn’t in any real danger during meditation, even if he had decided to try his hand at Force Projecting. Unless he had pushed himself too far…

A low ember of panic warmed in the pit of Armitage's stomach, blazing into an anxious fire when Finn gasped, his eyes flying open, breathing labored. He pitched forward and Armitage steadied him, ignoring the sweat that dripped from Finn’s brow as he soothed him. 

“Kriff, Finn. Are you alright? You-”

Finn grasped Armitage's biceps, his fingers digging in with a bruising grip. The Force seemed to whisper anxiously around them, quick fire words too low to hear. Nausea rose as Finn’s eyes found his, wide and scared, more white than brown. 

“Something is happening, Armitage. On D’Qar, with Poe.” 

Finn stood and paced away, his hand covering the lightsaber clipped to his belt, a seemingly unconscious gesture. He was shaking, shoulders hunched. Armitage rose from his crouch, crossing to his bedroll and clipping his own lightsaber to his belt. The blood orange saber rolled out from his pack and Armitage hesitated. 

He hadn’t trained with it much, it felt wrong somehow, to treat this lightsaber like his own. In his mind, it belonged to Ren. Even if it responded just as adroitly as Armitage’s own saber when in his hands. Absently, Armitage picked up the saber and clipped it to the other side of his belt. It hung heavy at his waist, unobstructive and yet so very _present_. A constant reminder that Ren wasn’t here with Armitage and was in fact half a galaxy away and fighting for the enemy. Armitage shook his head and pushed away his thoughts, turning to Finn again. 

Finn was pacing, hands clenched, his frustration translating vividly through the Force. Armitage took a deep breath. 

“Were you Force projecting? Or just meditating? What did you feel?”

Finn rubbed a hand over his face, his other hand firmly on his lightsaber, ready. Armitage mirrored his stance, trying to catch his gaze, cursing the shadows that the temple cast around them and the trees above that blocked out the sun. The air felt heavy, claustrophobic. 

If something were happening on D’Qar, an attack, they would be helpless bystanders. There was no transport left for them on this planet, the Resistance couldn’t afford to have a precious ship marooned when it could be used for their cause. If they couldn’t go physically to help, maybe Armitage could Project there. He still couldn’t touch things while Projecting but maybe if he tried hard enough, had enough incentive... 

“I...okay, I was meditating and I just kept thinking about how much I missed Poe and I was wondering how everyone was doing back on D’Qar. And suddenly I was there, you know?”

Armitage nodded quickly. 

“Yes. That’s how it happened for me.”

Finn seemed calmer now that they were speaking. He gave another deep sigh. 

“Right, right. I was there and everything was fine and then it wasn’t! I had just found Poe and I was trying to get his attention when the alarms started going off. Then people were running and things outside the hanger were exploding!”

Finn was shaking again and Armitage wrapped an arm around his shoulders, his throat too tight to speak. Finn slumped against him and Armitage closed his eyes, centering his mind, reaching for the Force. It seemed to grasp at his consciousness, urging him to follow, to see. Before he could follow, he sensed Leia’s mind and Finn was out of his arms, crowding her. 

She looked tired but determined, a steely look in her eyes. She held up a firm hand when Finn started asking questions. 

“There is no time. Quickly, now, head to the fields. I’m sending someone to pick you up. It’s not safe here.” 

They shared a loaded glance and followed her direction, running for the entrance of the temple. Beyond the trees to the west lay their original campsite and the open field Leia spoke of. It was more than enough room for a transporter to land. 

Armitage's heart raced as he followed Finn’s broad back through the crumbling stone hallways. They exited the temple and ran right into the tree line, Finn cursing loudly as they were forced to slow down to a jog, the trees so close and the foliage too thick to run through. 

Leia appeared again, floating next to Armitage. He risked a glance at her, trying his best to keep pace with Finn. He was ahead of them, graceful as he leaped over fallen trees and dodged low branches. Armitage was having trouble keeping up but reluctant to force Finn to slow down when he seemed so panicked, worried for Poe and the Resistance. 

“Armitage.”

He blinked and glanced at Leia again, frowning. 

“Do we have to talk _now_? Finn might just leave me, you know.”

She pursed her lips and materialized in front of him. He cursed and ground to a stop, even knowing he wouldn’t hurt her if he ran into her. He doubled over, panting. 

“Don’t be stupid, Finn would never leave you. Now listen to me, Armitage. There are things I didn’t tell you, about the Order, about Ben. I thought we had more _time_.”

Armitage stood up, clutching his aching side. Frustration welled up within him as he watched Finn disappear. 

“Fine. Is it the First Order? Have they found the Resistance base?”

She nodded, surprise chasing away her serious expression. He rolled his eyes.

“Are you really that caught out? The Order has been hunting the Resistance for years. It was only a matter of time before-”

A sudden thought arose in his mind, followed by the numbness of shock. 

“Oh no...when I Force Projected to the Finalizer-Did I lead Ren straight here?”

A large shadow passed over them, the sound of an engine firing, thrusters preparing for landing. Armitage craned his head up, watching the underside of a large transport ship as it passed over with wide eyes. He tried to pass by her again but she caught his arm. He huffed. 

“Leia, please. Whatever you have to say, can’t it wait until this is over, until we’re safe?” 

Her features pinched and she looked to the side, nodding her head at an invisible presence back on D’Qar. He covered her hand with his, bringing her focus back to him. 

“Don’t worry about us. Finn and I will be on D’Qar soon. We can help.” 

She opened her mouth to speak again but two more shadows passed over them, faster than the first. He looked up in time to see the back of a distinctive black TIE fighter disappear over the top of the trees. Gone quickly but the sight of it set off recognition in Armitage’s spinning mind, dread rising sharply, pushing away any patience he had for Leia. It couldn’t be...could it?

“Ren?”

He pulled away from Leia, looking back as he sprinted towards the clearing and the transport. Sadness passed over her face before she disappeared, pulling her full attention back to D’Qar. Armitage felt guilty for brushing her off but he turned forward again, pushing his body to go faster. 

The familiar sounds of two TIE fighters firing at each other sounded beyond the tree line ahead, anger and antagonism from the pilots saturating the Force. He could sense Ren’s all consuming rage, a fire that burned without dying. He reached out with his senses through the Force and brushed against Poe’s familiar mind. 

Finally, Armitage broke from the trees and stumbled into the open field beyond, craning his neck up to watch the fighters in the air. They spun and weaved around each other, two of the galaxy's most talented pilots struggling for dominance. 

Poe was fast, using his lightning quick reflexes and smaller ship to his advantage, outpacing Ren every time the black TIE drew close. But Ren was impossible to shake, seeming to predict Poe’s maneuvers before he made them, before he even thought of them.

“Armie! Come on!”

Finn’s panicked voice shook Armitage from his wide eyed appreciation of Poe and Ren’s fight. Finn stood next to the transporter, the large durasteel ramp lowered, waiting and ready for passengers. A woman ran down the ramp, blaster out and expression grim, wearing the tan overalls of the Resistance engineering corp. She placed a hand on Finn’s shoulder, speaking rapidly to him but Armitage was too far away to hear. Finn didn’t like what she said and he shook his head emphatically, waving his hand at Armitage. 

Armitage started to run to them again, not hesitating even as the engineer turned to him, her face falling slack like she recognized him. After a moment she sneered and raised the blaster, pointing it directly at him. Finn shouted something and stepped in front of the blaster, his broad back blocking the woman’s view of Armitage. 

Their argument was cut off when a loud explosion happened above their heads, the sky raining metal and billowing smoke. Poe’s TIE had taken a devastating hit, littering debris on those below. Finn tackled the engineer, taking her up the ramp and into the gaping darkness of the cargo hold. 

Armitage was still too far from cover and he dove to the ground, curling his hands over his head. He flinched when a large piece of panelling landed next to him, piercing the ground with a whistling thud. When the TIEs had passed, Armitage raised his head, scanning above. Poe had lost control of his ship, leaking fuel and streaming fire as he arched across the sky, landing beyond the far treeline. 

Ren followed Poe’s trajectory ruthlessly and Armitage could feel his malicious intent through the Force. It was a dark, creeping feeling, a viscous slime at the back of his throat, a constant chant of _kill, kill, kill_. Finn was screaming something and from his peripheral vision, the Resistance engineer was trying to hold him back. 

Armitage stood, knowing with a calming clarity that he could do something to stop Ren from killing Poe. He _had_ to do something. He reached up a trembling arm towards the sky, following Ren’s black TIE fighter as he zeroed in on Poe’s crashed ship. He reached out through the Force, letting it take his senses into the engine of the TIE. 

The targeting computer was locked on to Poe, the cannons almost charged to full capacity. There was no time for finesse, Armitage could sense Ren’s finger on the cannon trigger and his impatience to fire. Armitage located and severed the power to the targeting systems, sensing Ren’s growing frustration at the interruption. 

He cast his vision into the cockpit, watching the back of Ren’s helmet as he desperately tried to bring the targeting back online. Bile rising in his throat, Armitage didn’t allow himself to hesitate. Even without the targeting, Ren was a brilliant enough pilot to aim the cannons and hit a vulnerable Poe. 

With a thought, Armitage disabled the cycling fuel to the engines, sensing them struggle to turn over before going still. The TIE’s momentum stalled and Ren went still, his back rigid with tension and confusion. Armitage pulled his mind away just as the ship began to dive towards the earth, rapidly descending. 

This close to the ground and with Ren’s instincts, surely he wouldn’t... _die_.

Armitage came back into his body, doubling over and taking deep, gasping breaths. His trembling was even worse now, his body and mind exhausted but he laughed, loud and free when Poe emerged from the treeline. He was running fast towards the transport, BB-8 tucked awkwardly under his arm. He waved his other arm frantically, shouting,

“Go! Go! Go! Rose, get ready!” 

Armitage and Poe reached the transport together from opposite sides of the clearing, running up the ramp side by side. Armitage, panting, limbs still shaking, fell to his knees, nursing the painful stitch in his side. Poe breathed out a loud, hysterical laugh and set BB-8 gently in the cargo hold before falling into Finn’s waiting arms. The Resistance engineer, Rose, made her way to the cockpit. Armitage watched her prime the transport for takeoff, pressing buttons on the control board, swift and efficient. Her finger hovered over the control for the ramp they were standing on and she hesitated, looking over her shoulder in exasperation. 

“You boys have to actually get _inside_ before we can leave, ya know.” 

Finn and Poe turned to look at her, arms still around each other and Poe opened his mouth. His words stalled as Rose’s face went pale, her eyes widening in fear as she raised her finger from the ramp control and pointed behind them. 

The three turned as one, the breath leaving Armitage's lungs, his chest tightening with adrenaline to see the trees were _moving_. They parted like rushing water to reveal a black figure moving swiftly, coming straight for them. 

Ren, without his black, billowing cloak, helmet gone, arms bare and straining as he ran for the transport. His face was a rictus of a smile, a snarl that showed teeth and fury. He was moving fast, too fast. They would never make take off before Ren reached them. 

Poe had his blaster in hand, pointed at Ren, his other arm still wrapped around Finn’s waist. Rose was making her way back to them, still pale and shaking but her face was determined. There was no way to make a stand against Ren without killing him or incapacitating him permanently. The thought of it made Armitage nauseous. 

Always, in the back of his mind, Armitage had imagined a future where he and Ren stood together, fighting for themselves and the First Order. Even before his defection, Armitage had believed in Ren’s loyalty, his passion for the Order, for their mission. He knew Ren found more fulfillment working with Armitage for the glory of the First Order than in being Snoke’s leashed and rabid dog. 

There had to be a way to turn Ren from his Master and towards Armitage. But he couldn't do it if Ren was dead and he couldn’t do it from within the Resistance. If he didn’t return with Ren now, there would never be a way back to the First Order for Armitage. He couldn’t reveal that he was allied with the Resistance and he had to distract Ren from the transport. He had to give the others time to escape. 

Armitage unclipped the two lightsabers from his belt and shoved them at Rose. She took them with a bewildered frown and held them to her chest, her eyes going wide when Armitage stepped in front of Poe’s blaster. He grabbed it, pressing the whining muzzle right below his swiftly beating heart. 

Poe startled and tried to yank the blaster away but Armitage held firm, trying to project calm competence. 

“Armie, what the kriff! Move out of the way! I have a clear shot, man.”

Armitage shook his head at Poe, reaching one hand up to still his arm, his fingers digging into Poe’s singed jacket. 

“Shoot me.”

Poe’s face went slack in shock and Finn made a wounded noise. Finn shook his head, face furious. 

“Are you insane! No! No way. Move out of the way, Armie.” 

Armitage smiled grimly, shaking his head. 

“You know I can’t let you hurt him, Finn. And I can’t let _him_ hurt _you_. Shoot me, throw me off the transport and run back to the Resistance. Ren won’t leave me alone and injured.”

Poe made a frustrated sound in the back of his throat, the hand holding the blaster began to shake. 

“You’ll _die_ , you little idiot. You really think Kylo kriffing Ren will care how many holes I put in your chest?”

Finn pursed his lips, eyes tightening. He turned to Poe. 

“He will. He will care.”

Poe gaped at Finn. 

“ _What_? I-” 

Rose pressed herself next to Finn, reaching for the blaster with one hand, still clutching Armitage’s lightsabers in the other. 

“Listen, guys. That scary man is real close. I’ll shoot his ass right now, no problem.” 

Poe shoved her hand away and she growled at him. Their shoving match turned into a one handed slap fight but Armitage ignored their antics, staring pleadingly into Finn’s eyes. He could feel Ren coming ever closer, a wall of heat at his back. He was vengeance and fury, ready to tear Armitage’s precious friends apart bodily. 

“Finn, _please_. This is the best way to throw off suspicion around my time with the Resistance. There’s no time to argue. You have to trust me. Finn, _trust me_.”

Finn’s face was full of devastation but he plucked the blaster from Poe’s hand, following Armitage's guidance, pressing the muzzle lower, somewhere less vital. Finn’s shoulders were shaking but his hand was steady on the blaster. Armitage grasped his forearm, giving his friend a small, sad smile. 

“It’s okay, Finn. I’ll heal myself. I’m good at that, right? I’ve done it before and I’ll do it now. This isn’t goodbye.”

Finn swallowed roughly and straightened his posture, shoulders thrown back, eyes growing hard and cold. He nodded once and fired. 

The force of the blaster blew Armitage back and he flew off the ramp, toes dragging on the floor. He hit the ground hard, tumbling twice before coming to rest on his back, the bright afternoon sun bearing down, blinding him as he gasped for air. 

And then the pain came, a burning agony that started at his abdomen and spread across his entire body. He was disoriented, mind clouded by agony, his own heart beating a panicked tattoo in his ears, muting the world. Over the static, he heard a roar, bestial and furious. 

But he ignored it, keeping his eyes shut tight as he reached for the Force. It was hard to concentrate above the aching torment that engulfed his body but the Force came to his mind quickly, the susurrus of ancient voices a warm comfort. He pushed it down, towards the cauterized blaster wound, healing tissue, organs and blood vessels. 

He didn’t heal it all, leaving the edge of the wound as it curled around his abdomen and towards his back. But it was much shallower now, the torture fading to a bone deep ache, leaving him breathless but whole. 

To Ren or the healers on the Finalizer, it would look as if the blaster had clipped him, doing considerable bruising and scarring but nothing fatal. Nothing a few weeks of bacta treatment couldn’t handle. 

Armitage opened his eyes, letting out a soft groan and tried to blink away the bright sunlight. He raised a hand to shield his eyes but hissed in pain, rolling to his uninjured side and curling in on himself, clutching his ruined tunic. There was a gaping hole in it and he shuddered at what he could see of his blackened, twisted skin. 

The sounds around him were starting to reach him again; a groan of metal, Ren still screaming in rage. The transport had taken off but it was stalled in the sky, straining uselessly to leave the atmosphere and escape to the welcoming vastness of space. 

Ren was holding them still with the Force, his arm rigid, gloved fingers clawed, face an ominous snarl. He looked wild, feral. And he was well on his way to crushing the transport like a child’s tin toy. Armitage coughed, gasping for breath and reached a trembling hand towards Ren. 

“Ren…”

His voice was too faint, Ren was too far gone in his rage. Armitage raised himself up to an elbow, crawling forward slowly. He had to reach…

“Ren!”

Ren was close now and the transport engine was starting to smoke under the strain of fighting the pull of the Force. Almost there. 

Armitage reached him and he weakly grasped Ren’s ankle, his fingers lifting the leg of his trousers to touch skin. Ren startled and turned to him, foot lifted as if ready to leave or perhaps kick out at Armitage. 

“Ren, please, I-”

Ren’s snarl fell from his face and shock replaced it, followed quickly by confusion, relief and then awe. He abandoned the transport to kneel beside Armitage, his hands hovering, afraid to touch. Armitage watched the transport disappear into the sky with grim satisfaction, relief and regret filling him. A part of him wished he could go with them. 

Armitage turned his attention back to Ren when his hands touched him, gentle and unsure, one cupping the back of Armitage’s neck, the other wrapped tight around his hip. The intimacy of the touch startled Armitage and he jumped, hissing through his teeth when the movement pulled at his wound. 

Ren shushed him, his fingers tightening on Armitage's nape, rubbing soothing circles on his hip. Armitage huffed and went limp in Ren’s arms, not fighting when Ren pulled him closer, pressing Armitage’s face into Ren’s shoulder. His throat tightened and he breathed in deep the scent of Ren; leather, smoke, sweat and the barest notes of something spicy from his windswept hair. 

Ren’s shoulders started to shake and there were tears in his eyes when he leaned Armitage back, the arm on his hip wrapping around his lower back, keeping him off the ground. Ren was warm, a looming presence both physically and in the Force. But instead of feeling threatened or on edge, to Armitage, Ren’s arms felt a lot like coming home. With his big body curled over him, Armitage felt safe, protected. 

Ren looked devastated, eyes wide and wet, his plush bottom lip trembling with suppressed emotion. Was he happy to see Armitage again? Armitage felt like a missing limb had returned to him, Ren’s buzzing mind slotting so neatly next to his. 

Ren’s hands felt like they belonged on his body. Armitage reached up and caught a tear as it fell, tracing the path it would have taken on Ren’s face, a mirror to the large scar on the other side. Over his cheeks and down his face, pressing shaking fingers into the dip at the side of his lips. 

“Don’t cry, Ren. It looks worse than it is. Karking Resistance junk of a blaster. I’m more burned than anything. Look.” 

He lifted the bottom of his tunic and tucked it under his chin, looking down at the nasty bruise covering his stomach. There was more scarring than he had thought, the blaster had twisted and melted his skin cruelly. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of it; ugly. He looked up to Ren, searching his face for disappointment or disgust. 

Ren swallowed and looked down shyly, the faintest of red tinting his cheeks, the tips of his large ears. He lowered Armitage gently to the ground. His arm slid slowly as he released Armitage, his big hand warmly cupping Armitage’s waist once more, his thumb right next to where the wound started.

It made Armitage feel small, delicate. It wasn’t a horrible feeling, not with Ren looking at him so intently, as if he were going to vanish into mist at any moment. Ren’s voice was hoarse when he spoke. From the screaming?

“I’m glad, Armitage. Come, let me take you home.”

_I am home_. 

Armitage bit his lip on those words, wincing as Ren gathered him in his arms, one arm under his knees, the other supporting his back. He curled into Ren’s chest, tucking his face into his neck, his hand clutching Ren’s black under shirt. Ren was being so considerate with him, cautious, as if Armitage was traumatized, breakable. 

Had he imagined all sorts of terrible tortures done to Armitage by the Resistance? A dank cell with no comfort, endless interrogation? It’s what the First Order would have done.   
But it wasn’t true. He had to tell Ren the truth, convince him to retreat, look at the war between the First Order and the Resistance with a critical eye. He had to convince Ren to turn on his Master, to stand with Armitage and lead the Order, side by side. 

He opened his mouth but Ren shushed him again, nuzzling his lips against Armitage’s temple. The gesture distracted Armitage long enough for Ren to whisper,

“You’re safe now, General. _**Sleep**_.”

The word was imbued with the Force and weak, tired and hurting, Armitage felt its full effect. He went limp, his worries floating away, his mind sinking deep into the welcoming arms of darkness.


	10. Chapter 10

Coming into consciousness was a slow rise in deep water for Armitage. He felt the pain of the blaster wound first, the fire and tightness consuming his senses, making his mind delirious with pain. He grit his teeth against a groan and flailed his good arm, trying to grasp anything to ground himself. 

There were voices, unintelligible and hands on him, soothing. He flailed again, gasping when the movement pulled the burned skin on his side taut. A pinch on his arm and then blessed numbness. _Analgesic_ , his mind supplied. 

He opened his eyes, squinting against the bright lights above. There were faces in his vision and he reached out to the Force. _Healers, capable_. 

The Force also returned to him a Dark presence, incandescent with rage, familiar and dangerous. Ren. He closed his eyes again, tuning out the sounds of the small medbay, the sterile smell of healing and reached for the Darkness. 

Armitage was on Ren’s command shuttle and he reached his mind to the bridge, feeling more than seeing. He didn't have the energy to extend all of his senses even that small distance, the effort of Force Projecting too much. 

But he could feel Ren, feel his murderous intent, his single minded determination, his obsession. What was he doing? Why wasn’t he here with Armitage, here where he was truly needed? Armitage pushed his senses further, out of the command shuttle and into the stars. 

The First Order was fully engaged, every battlecruiser and command shuttle in dogged pursuit of the Resistance. The Resistance was in full retreat, fleeing for their lives, Ren nipping, mercilessly at their heels. There was no way the Resistance would survive this. Unless…

Armitage came back into his body with another pained gasp, the analgesic already starting to wear off. He sat up with a snarl, pushing back the healers and medical technicians that tried once more to subdue him. One healer was quicker than the others, dodging and pressing a sedative into his limp arm. 

The effect was immediate, the siren song of sleep pulling on his mind and body. Armitage fought it viciously, back handing the healer with another snarl. It was a weak hit but it got his point across. _He couldn’t breathe, get away_. 

“How dare you! I am your General, unhand me!” 

The healers still looked like they wanted to approach him and he shook off a bout of dizziness and grabbed the nearest object, hurling it at them. It was a roll of exposed bacta strips and it clung to their white uniforms, falling gracelessly with a _splat_ onto the floor. Not very intimidating. 

He tried again and his hand found a sharp scalpel, swiping it in front of him. That worked much better, the healers and med techs falling back.

“General Hux, sir! P-please, calm down. You’re safe!”

The healers parted to reveal Lieutenant Dopheld Mitaka, his face pale and pinched. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here, dealing with a delirious superior officer.   
But Armitage didn’t have time to be cool and collected. Ren would destroy the Resistance once and for all. Finn, Poe...Leia. 

He pointed a shaky finger at the lieutenant, falling easily into a commanding tone. 

“You! Take me to the bridge, immediately.” 

Mitaka drew himself up into parade rest instinctively, puffing his chest out and clasping one hand behind his back, saluting sharply with the other. He opened his mouth to respond but a healer interrupted. 

“Excuse me, General but you shouldn’t be moving right now. We need to treat your wound with bacta before the nerve damage is permanent-” 

“Silence! You heard me, Healer. No excuses, _**no more interruptions**_. Is that clear?”

Armitage hadn’t meant to imbue his words with the Force but he couldn’t bring himself to regret the immediate effect they had on the healers. They parted readily to let Armitage leave and he forced one foot in front of the other, his pace slow and deliberate. 

Once the door swished closed on the medbay, Armitage stumbled forward, dizzy again. Mitaka, hovering close, caught him, supporting his weight easily. 

“Kriffing sedative. Move, Lieutenant. There is no time to waste. Take me to the bridge.”

“Yes, General.”

“What were you doing in the medbay, Mitaka? Shouldn’t you be on the bridge with Ren?”

Mitaka cleared his throat.

“Lord Ren tasked me with watching over you, sir. He greatly stressed how important my task was so please-”

A loud bellow interrupted Mitaka’s plea, coming from behind the closed doors on the bridge. A familiar one. Armitage pushed away from Mitaka’s arm around his shoulders and stood tall, wincing. 

The analgesic was steadily wearing off and the sedative was affecting him more and more. He had to hurry, before he collapsed in Ren’s arms for a second time that day.   
It wouldn’t do to show such weakness in front of the highly trained bridge crew. Snoke already had enough people convinced Armitage was incompetent. 

The doors opened and they stepped through, Armitage taking small, measured steps, head high and arm tucked close to his side. The silence his sudden presence created was deafening, the crew turning wide eyes towards him, their shock echoing through the Force. 

Ren was hunched over the command console and the technicians working it, no doubt in a bid to intimidate them to move faster. He noticed the change in the atmosphere and straightened, turning to glower menacingly at the unwanted intrusion. 

His cloak and helmet was missing, lost in the TIE crash? His tunic was singed in a few places, pale skin peaking through. His long black hair was a wild mess, as if he had ran a hand through it and pulled on it more than once in frustration. Armitage longed to reach out and fix it, wondering what those wild curls would feel like as they snared around his seeking fingers. 

Ren’s expressive brown eyes widened at the sight of him, the anger seeping away to be replaced by something soft. Before Armitage could name that emotion, those eyes narrowed in annoyance. Ren crossed to him in three long strides, coming to tower over a shaking Armitage with a frown. 

Armitage felt gutted and made whole at the same time, Ren’s aura filling an aching absence in Armitage’s body. Just _seeing_ Ren, being near him, smelling the salt and smoke on his skin, lifting his eyes that bare inch to meet Ren’s... 

It was a relief, water in the desert, food to a starving man. His soul, _nourished_. He felt surrounded, protected. How could he have doubted for one moment that he loved Ren, that the man wasn’t connected to him so fully, so intimately? Something hot and possessive rose within him, followed by a durasteel clad resolve. Ren _belonged_ to Armitage. No one else would see their souls severed. Armitage would fight with everything he had to capture and keep this dangerous, infuriating man. 

The Force swirled around them in obvious approval, the hum of it a comfort in the back of Armitage’s exhausted mind. Did Ren feel it, too? It felt _right_ to stand next to Ren and Armitage suddenly, selfishly, couldn’t regret the decisions he had made to get him here, to this moment. 

They stared at one another for a long moment before Ren leaned closer, one of his gloved hands grasping Armitage's wrist. The hold was loose but grounding, feeling like a brand against his skin. He wanted Ren to touch him more, everywhere, anywhere, but the bridge was no place for it. They had a rapt audience and the Resistance’s very existence depended on Armitage’s next words to Ren but he could only utter, softly,

“My Lord Ren.” 

The edges of Ren’s lips lifted in a barely there smile but his eyes shone bright. His voice was low, soothing, intimate and Armitage shivered to hear it. 

“Armitage, you shouldn’t be pushing yourself like this. Go back to the healers.” 

Armitage shook his head, taking a sharp breath at the groggy dizziness it caused. Ren’s hand went tighter around his wrist, the supple leather of his glove a gentle caress. 

“I-I had to see you, Ren. You have to call a retreat.”

Ren reared back, offended but his hand didn’t let go of Armitage's wrist. His voice was low, a snarl on his face. 

“What are you saying? You’re not in your right mind-”

Armitage turned his own hand to grasp Ren’s wrist, his grip tight, feeling the bones grind under his fingers. He pulled Ren back towards him, speaking as concisely as he could, eyes begging. 

“Ren, listen to me. Call a retreat. There are things you don’t know, things I have to tell you. Circumstances have changed. _Trust me_.”

Ren paused, swallowing thickly, his eyes searching Armitage’s face. Armitage projected his utter faith, the rightness of his words into the Force, silently encouraging Ren to feel it. 

He didn’t. Ren’s face shuttered and he shook his head, jaw clenching in anger. 

“No, I can’t do that, Armitage. I can’t just _let them go_.” 

Armitage sighed, disappointed. 

“Of course, you can! Why not-?”

Ren’s other hand came up to grasp Armitage's bicep, lightning quick, finger tips digging into his skin harshly. Armitage’s breath stuttered, his posture stiff in Ren’s hold. He wanted to tip forward, melt against Ren’s heaving chest, just let go. He was so tired. 

The hand on Armitage's bicep smoothed upward, palm warm and flat, to grasp his chin. He shivered when the leather scraped gently against his neck on the way. Kriff, Ren was a menace with more than just his lightsaber. He was going to kill Armitage with these soft touches. 

Armitage allowed Ren to tip his head up, gazing deep into his dark eyes. Ren’s voice was like soft, rolling thunder. 

“They took you, Armitage. They hurt you and I’m going to hunt down every one of them and make them pay. They deserve it.”

Armitage growled and jerked his chin out of Ren’s grip, baring his teeth in frustration, pushing down the glowing embers of arousal that Ren’s words evoked. Any other time and Armitage would revel in Ren’s murderous, protective rage. There were plenty of truly deserving targets but the Resistance was not one. 

“Stop this! I didn’t ask this of you, Ren!”

Ren snarled back, the Dark swirling around him, his voice raised, words clipped. 

“You couldn’t ask! You were dying in my arms!”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Ren! I’m not dying, then or now.” 

Armitage scoffed, wincing at the pull from his wound. He was getting too worked up and the analgesic was well and truly gone. Even staying on his feet, knees locked was an arduous task. The sedative was closing in fast, fatigue turning his spine soft, his muscles numb, his shoulders heavy and rounding forward. He was losing the battle with his mind to stay awake, to keep arguing.

As soon as he thought that, Armitage’s knees gave. He crumpled like durasheet and would have fallen to the floor face first if Ren hadn’t caught him against his chest. He felt Mitaka at his back, the lieutenant’s arms wrapping around him from behind, taking his weight. He gasped at the renewed pain of his wound, mind in free fall, the room spinning.   
Ren cursed, his voice sounding distant even though Armitage could feel Ren’s chest vibrate against his own as he spoke. 

“Lieutenant Mitaka! I thought I made your task clear to you. Take General Hux back to medbay and directly into a bacta tank.”

“S-sir…”

Armitage blinked and raised his head as Ren pressed closer, his hands gripping Mitaka’s lapels and he gave the lieutenant a harsh shake. Armitage was crushed between them and he squirmed, feeling suffocated. He was too weak to push away. 

“What is it? Speak!”

Mitaka swallowed and cleared his throat, his hands gripping Armitage tighter in his fright.

“I’m sorry, sir but there are no bacta tanks aboard the command shuttle. I was told by the Head Healer to inform you that it was imperative to return to the Finalizer post haste. For-for the health of the general, sir.”

Mitaka’s voice trailed off, a faint tremble starting in his limbs. He never had done well under Ren’s intimidating focus. Ren’s face showed concern and then determination. He pulled Armitage back up and pushed him at Mitaka. Armitage could only sag against the lieutenant and watch Ren turn to the bridge crew, shoulders tight with tension. 

“Very well. Call for a full retreat. The Resistance forces are scattered, they wouldn’t dare to pursue us. Circle the TIE’s to trail us. Shoot any enemy on sight.”

Ren turned back to Armitage, raising his hand up to brush a thumb high on Armitage’s cheek. Armitage’s breath caught, surprised once again by how gently Ren was treating him. So different from before. Ren turned his gaze to Mitaka, his face growing dark, eyes blazing, looking wild, unhinged. 

“I am leaving the general in your care until we reach the Finalizer, Mitaka. If anything happens to him, it’ll be on your head. _Do you understand me?_ ” 

Mitaka saluted as well as he could with Armitage in his arms, trembling. He stunk of sweat and fear. 

“Y-yes, I understand, Supreme Leader!” 

Ren nodded and watched Mitaka guide Armitage away, his eyes shadowed, looking haunted and tired. Armitage couldn’t speak, his tongue too heavy in his mouth, his body too uncoordinated to fight Mitaka. He followed where he was pushed and pulled, the corridor melting together into one long blur, shock making his mind even slower. 

_Supreme Leader?_

***

Waking up in a bacta tank was unpleasant. Armitage’s mind felt so much further away while his body was suspended in bacta gel. His eyes fluttered open a few times that he remembered and each time a new face greeted him. 

Mitaka, Phasma and then Ren. He didn’t stay aware for long, the healers rushing over and sedating him at the first signs of consciousness. The fourth time stuck, the healers pronouncing him healed enough to exit the tank. 

Behind the privacy partition, Armitage moved his sluggish limbs, getting dressed in the provided patient robe. It was white, soft and easy to don, brushing gently against his skin, sensitive from extended bacta treatment. 

His wound had healed well but there was a nasty scar, ragged and pink, covering his whole left side, stretching to cover his ribs and kissing his spine. The Resistance really did have shoddy weapons, the blaster acting more like a war hammer than a precision pistol. But it got the job done, Armitage would surely be dead if not for his Force Healing abilities. Maybe Ren hadn’t overreacted... 

The bright lights of the medbay were grating to Armitage’s senses, a headache starting to flare behind his eyes. He was on medical leave for the next two cycles and he yearned for the comforting darkness of his quarters. 

Twenty four hours sedated in a bacta tank and all he wanted was to sleep the next two cycles away. He knew he couldn’t. There was so much to do; catching up on the status of First Order allies, who had been in charge in his absence, what his role would be now that he was back...why the kriff Mitaka had called Ren   
_‘Supreme Leader’_. 

Armitage would have assumed he had imagined it but more than once, he had overheard the medical team refer to him as such. He hadn’t quite had the nerve to ask clarifying questions. 

If Ren was Supreme Leader, where was Snoke? Not one mention had been made of the Dark Master and the absence of his name aboard the Finalizer was deafening. Had Ren usurped Snoke? 

What would even push him to turn on his Master like that, with such finality? What rift between the two could possibly end in a fight to the death? Snoke had to be dead by Ren’s hands. There was no other way that he would have given up such power to his apprentice. 

Armitage took a deep breath, closing his eyes and pressing two fingers to his temple. He massaged the point, pulling on the Force to Heal his encroaching migraine. The tension ebbed slowly and he sighed in relief, pleased that he wasn’t too weak to use his abilities. Even exhausted and unarmed, Armitage wasn’t defenseless. Although he did miss his lightsaber, the absent weight of it at his hip was disconcerting. 

Squaring his shoulders, Armitage rounded the partition, coming to a surprised halt to see Ren waiting for him. He was standing near the empty bed, in profile, the cape of his black robe thrown carelessly over one shoulder. His hands were loose at his sides and he tensed as Armitage came into sight, turning his head slowly towards him, the bright lights flashing across his black helmet. 

Suddenly, Armitage was angry. He hated that bucket on Ren’s head. _Hated_ it. How dare Ren hide himself away from Armitage, how _dare_ he put any distance between them. They were Soulbonded…

But Ren didn’t know that, did he? And wasn’t that Armitage’s fault?

Armitage’s mind shields had always been exceptional, even before his training with Leia. Now, they would be impossible to break without extreme emotional disturbance. Things were so tenuous right now, between them and with the First Order. 

It was cowardly but Armitage just couldn’t open up himself that way yet. Was it so wrong to wish that Ren would _prove_ himself to Armitage in some way? Armitage’s heart wanted to spill everything but his mind called for caution. If he got this wrong, if he pushed Ren too far, too fast...the results would surely be ugly, violent. 

It was better to wait, to get his bearing and then plan accordingly. Caution and strategy had saved Armitage more than once in his career, maybe it would save his heart as well. 

It wasn’t fair to expect more from Ren without divulging how deep their connection went; deeper than rivals, deeper than coworkers...or Ren was his superior now, wasn’t he? The thought wasn’t as disgusting as it would have been so many months ago. 

Ren was strong, capable but also volatile, impatient. Armitage didn’t think Ren could lead the First Order alone, not without destroying them all. Would he let Armitage close, consider him an equal? Or would Ren be content to grind him beneath his heavy, black boots? 

“Armitage?”

The helmet clicked and hissed as Ren spoke and Armitage wanted nothing more than to rip it off his head and smash it into pieces on the floor. He wanted to see Ren’s face, his eyes, his naked, obvious emotions. 

And Ren had called him ‘Armitage’ not ‘General’. It gave him no clue as to his place within the First Order. 

Armitage sighed and shook his head, pushing down his emotions. He had to be calm, had to be collected and analytical now that he was back with the First Order. He gave Ren a small smirk. 

“I’m still quite tired. Forgive me, Ren. Or should I say...Supreme Leader?”

He tilted his head to the side, his smirk more genuine, teasing. He had missed teasing Ren. Instead of getting angry like he would have before, Ren gave his own sigh, his shoulders slumping. 

“Not here. Let’s discuss this in your quarters.”

Ren reached out a hand, beckoning Armitage forward. Intrigued, he obeyed, stepping close to Ren and startling when he rested his large, warm hand on Armitage’s lower back. Armitage held his head high as Ren guided him silently out of the medbay and towards the elevator. 

Armitage’s eyes grew heavier the longer he was near Ren and he fought to keep them open. After a few moments, the door swished open and Ren urged him forward with a low chuckle. Armitage couldn’t suppress a pout as they exited the elevator; the corridor in front of them was obviously _not_ the one for the officer’s quarters.   
Armitage was so _tired_ , they still had to discuss this Supreme Leader business and Ren had gone and gotten them _lost_. 

“Ren-”

Ren shushed him, even going so far as to bring a finger to the front of his helmet. It was such a silly thing to do that it rendered Armitage speechless long enough for Ren to guide him to their destination. 

They stood in front of heavy, familiar reinforced double doors. They led to the Supreme Leader quarters, the very same ones that Armitage had Force Projected to only a few cycles before. Why were they here?

Ren entered the code to open them and Armitage held his breath as Ren gently pushed him forward. The rooms looked...completely different. Armitage wandered through the quarters, opening each new door that he came upon. There was a shared entry way but the rest of it was split equally in two. 

A kitchen, a lounging area, a bedroom with an attached refresher. Then through another reinforced door with a code, open for the moment. There was a mirrored set of living rooms, identical, obviously lived in and an opposite exit into the empty corridor. 

Ren had shadowed Armitage as he took in the quarters and he brushed past him into the second lounging room. 

“These are your new quarters.”

Armitage went still for a long moment, squinting in surprise at his own face reflected on Ren’s visor. He glanced over his shoulder with a frown, taking in the dark rooms behind him. They were undisturbed, clean and he could almost sense an air of anticipation to them. They were ready to be claimed, lived in. 

“You...repurposed the Supreme Leader quarters to-”

Armitage paused and turned back to Ren, wishing he could see through his helmet, see what sort of expression he was making. Why was he still wearing that thing? Armitage pressed a finger to his temple, confused. 

“You want us to live together.”

Ren went unnaturally still, as if Armitage had surprised him or embarrassed him. His posture conveyed discomfort and he shifted from one foot to the other. Armitage had to suppress a smirk. What did it say about himself that he always enjoyed Ren’s inner struggle? He wanted to poke at Ren’s exposed spots as much as he wanted to kill anyone else that did the same. 

“No, I…” 

Ren shook his head and raised his gloved hands towards his helmet, hesitating for only a second before he pressed the release valves on each side. It hissed, seeming to take forever to depressurize and Armitage watched Ren’s every move with a possessive hunger glowing in his chest. 

Armitage had long accepted his desire and love for Ren but this hot, squirming thing in his chest was new, unsettling with how unexpected and overwhelming it was. He wanted to push Ren down, hold him there until he begged, until those expressive eyes of his filled with grateful tears. He wanted to worship Ren, he wanted to lock him up and never let him leave.

But it was more than just desiring Ren. Armitage wanted to watch Ren writhe in pleasure beneath him but he also wanted them to rule beside each other. Armitage imagined them as partners in everything and that tempting thought wasn’t new. 

In his own way, Armitage had always wanted Ren’s esteem. He had always imagined what it would be like for Ren to be impressed by Armitage’s accomplishments for the First Order. At the time, he had attributed it to his own competitive drive and their combative rivalry, fed by Snoke. 

Snoke had always pitted Armitage and Ren against each other, holding rewards and praise above their struggling, prostrated forms. What would their lives without Snoke entail?   
Ren had crossed the galaxy to take down the Resistance and rescue Armitage. All without the order of his Master. Ren had always been an emotional creature, his rage had always been his greatest weapon. 

What had so enraged him that he would kill his Dark Master? What had driven him to reach for such great power alone, where before he had seemed content to be leashed and roughly led?

Ren finally removed his helmet and Armitage watched him set it down, working to remove his gloves next. Armitage swallowed roughly at the sight of Ren’s bare skin, trying to keep his face blank and his mental shields intact. He felt Ren’s own awareness brush against them before Ren’s posture relaxed, seeming to take comfort in the action. 

Ren didn’t seem aware of the shields, seeing nothing amiss with what he already knew of Armitage’s mind. How angry would he be at the truth? That Armitage had never shown his force sensitivity, let alone that he had staged his own capture by the Resistance and trained as a Jedi with Ren’s estranged mother…

Kriff, Ren would strangle him to death. It was safer to ingratiate himself to Ren before revealing everything. To prove to Ren his loyalty to the man himself and the new future of the First Order. Ren was Supreme Leader now. Armitage would show him that there was no need to walk in Snoke’s shadow. The First Order would be _theirs_. 

Armitage clenched his fists behind his back, missing his officer’s uniform with a blazing passion. It was easy to hide himself behind the trappings of a General, easy to push aside his wants and desires to focus on the might of the First Order. 

Here, alone with Ren, seeing his dark eyes and flushed cheeks, tracing every line of his handsome face, it was impossible to hide away. Here, he had to be Armitage; yearning, unsure, _human_. 

Ren removed his cape next, watching Armitage from the corner of his eye. His shoulders grew more and more relaxed with each layer of Lord Ren, Supreme Leader that he removed. Finally, he turned back to Armitage, still looking a little lost. 

“It’s split. I’ve divided the quarters equally in two to add complete privacy for the both of us.”

“Yes, but _why?_ I have perfectly serviceable quarters already, Ren. They befit a general nicely.”

Ren bit the inside of his lip, worrying it with his teeth. He looked nervous. A great hulking man, a Dark warrior and the leader of the greatest armada in the galaxy, chewing his lip, weighing his words carefully as if afraid of Armitage’s reaction. It was terribly endearing. It made Armitage feel feral, bestial...powerful. 

“Your previous quarters were inappropriate for the Grand Marshal of the First Order.”

The stunned silence that followed was deafening and it took a long moment for Armitage to breath normally. His lungs felt too small for his chest, his heart thundering in his ears. He was hallucinating, he had to be. 

“Excuse me?”

Ren took a deep breath and moved, closing the small distance between them, eyes dark and shining. He was smirking now, enjoying the upper hand he had, enjoying Armitage’s shock. Armitage couldn’t look away, feeling light headed. 

Ren seemed to loom over Armitage, his shoulders thrown back, blocking out the light of the lamp behind his back. It threw a shadow over Armitage and he felt caged, protected. He wanted to clutch at Ren’s tunic, to ground himself in what he was starting to dread was a sedative induced dream. 

Any second now he would wake up in the medbay, surrounded and suspended by bacta gel. Or maybe he had never left that little unknown planet near D’Qar. He would open his eyes, chest aching, to stare in resigned devastation at the ceiling of the Jedi Seer’s temple. 

It was impossible that Ren was just handing him all of this power. As Grand Marshal, there would be no one above Armitage but Ren. No one to look down upon him, no one to make him struggle. Any dissension would be dealt with swiftly and fiercely by Armitage himself. No more petitioning his superiors. The horizon for reform would be vast if only Armitage could convince Ren. 

Ren raised his hand slowly, brushing his thumb against the crest Armitage’s cheek. It was becoming a habit of Ren’s, touching Armitage. It was chilling, exciting. No one ever touched Armitage like that, so intimate. It had to mean _something_. Ren must feel it too, the potential between the two of them. 

Ren’s voice was low, soft. That damn rumble in his tone making the hair on Armitage’s neck stand on end. So close, that spicy scent of Ren’s made Armitage’s knees feel weak. He wanted to press his face into Ren’s neck and breathe deeply. 

“You heard me, Armitage. You are no longer a General of the First Order. As Supreme Leader, I am going to announce to the fleet tomorrow that I have named you Grand Marshal Hux.”

He leaned even closer, his breath hot against Armitage’s flushed face. 

“From now on, you will serve only me, Armitage. No one else.”

Armitage gasped weakly. He was going to do it. He was going to drop to his knees, claw off Ren’s tight, black trousers and choke on his massive kriffing cock. His own was hard under his robe and he ached for Ren to touch him more, anywhere. _Please_.

He was trembling, he could feel his limbs shaking as he let Ren walk him backwards. His mind was hazy with arousal and shock, hope rising in his breast so swiftly that he was breathless. 

Ren backed him into the doorway between their rooms and pushed him back a step. His eyes were half lidded and there was an infuriating smirk on his lush lips. Armitage wanted to make it disappear. He wanted to close that step between them and grab Ren’s hair, pull and twist until he gasped or snarled. Until he fought Armitage or until he gave in. 

He had missed Ren, he had pined for him from across the galaxy. But being so close made everything worse. It made the yearning _worse_ , violent and volatile. As if one more second they were alone together they drew closer to an explosion.

Was it because Armitage was hiding their bond, hiding his mind away from Ren’s? Was the Force punishing him? Or had Armitage always been such a wanton man? He had never felt like this before with anyone else. He had never wanted to possess someone so fiercely that the feeling made his chest ache, a wound more painful than the blaster shot had been. 

“Rest, Armitage. There is much work to be done after you recover.”

Armitage’s hand snapped out to grab Ren’s wrist before he could engage the door controls. 

“And Snoke? What about your Master? Are you going to explain to me why you killed him?”

Ren’s face shuttered, eyes going hard, distant and he twisted his wrist out of Armitage’s loose hold. 

“Snoke is dead. I am the Supreme Leader. That is all you need to know for now, Grand Marshal. Good night.” 

Armitage stared blankly at the closed durasteel door for a long moment, taking deep, calming breaths. Worry and fear chased away the arousal humming through his body, leaving a creeping cold dread. 

His previous exhaustion came back with a vengeance, making his body feel heavy, clumsy. He walked slowly into his new rooms, through the second door off the lounge and fell face first into his large bed. He wanted to scream into the pillow but refrained, rolling around in misery a few times instead. 

Ren was so damn confusing, running hot and cold, being open, vulnerable and then pushing Armitage out. What would it take to gain his trust, his loyalty? Ren was attracted to Armitage, the tender way Ren touched him, the dark appreciation in his eyes, it could mean nothing else. And he obviously respected Armitage enough to elevate him above all others. 

But even the position of Grand Marshal paled in comparison to his yearning for Ren. And on the tail of that thought came a startling revelation: He would give it all up; the First Order, the Resistance, balance for the galaxy, if it meant Ren would be his, only his. 

It was going to be a careful dance to win Ren’s affections and Armitage had to weave his web carefully, tightly. He had to plan for all eventualities and weigh that against reformation of the First Order. 

But if one day he had to choose, the First Order or Ren...well, that was an easy decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should apologize for how horny Hux is in this chapter. I won't...I just feel like I should.

**Author's Note:**

> [come see me on tumblr ;)](https://havok2cat.tumblr.com)


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